u/BTN2026

Seen a lot of nasty rumours flying around here, time time set the record straight.

I was being pursued by a particularly voracious bird, so I sought shelter in the first place I saw. However, once I was inside, I discovered there were some bald blokes donuts, then I heard a feminine shriek and next thing I knew I was being pelted out onto the roadside.

That’s all there is to it

Now buzz off