I (M21) am having issues with my girlfriend (F20) of two years, after she had a psychological breakdown. I don't know what to do anymore but I need advice on how to approach my partner and if/how my relationship is savable?
I (21M) have been with my girlfriend (F20) for almost 2 years officially, but things have taken a recent turn for the worse after she was sent to a psyche ward... sorry in advance for wall of text.
To paint a full picture I will try to give an extensive rundown on the relationship and how it ended up as is. Met this girl through a mutual friend they both had a passion for equestrian activities and grew to be fast friends that way. This was at a time I was overseas and unable to communicate in person but I was aware I'd be returning to my home country soon. Knowing this I became fast friends with this girl who at the time was in a relationship she was mentally checked out of and was ready to move on. After some flirty texts we made our relationship official. from May 18, 2024 to February of this year I've genuinely fallen head over heels for this girl, all I could think about was her. Even know she means so much to me and has been the only romantic relationship I've had that I could see (and wanted to) end up getting married. She'd always do little things for me like bake cookies for me, show up at my door late at night and cuddle. Little things here and there that would make me feel special and that the love was there. The one issue that came back to bite me in the ass was when we head a conversation about children. She is hard stuck not having children and I would prefer to (my preference is completely circumstantial) this conversation wasn't brought up until after her visit to the psyche ward (about 6 months later) and I would come to find out it was the main reason for her stay there.
February of this year she left for an equestrian event 6 hours south, contact over the phone and social media where limited which was highly unusual but I figured she was focused on the event. she returned a week later and showed up sobbing at my doorstep, after asking she revealed that she was worried we "weren't meant to be" due to the child issue I mentioned. She was distraught and I figured it was best she went home and we could talk again in 24 (brief summary of what I'd said). She went home and took 10X the amount of the monthly anti depressant she takes. She OD'd shortly after...
She was taken to the hospital and placed on suicide watch then transferred to a psyche ward. She stayed in the ward for 4 days I attempted contact her once a day. When she got out she didn't contact me at all, this was the first time I'd seen this behavior from her and it took an emotional toll on me. I was completely emotionally attached to this women and the silence made me assume the worst. Long story short in weeks that followed I found myself at the bottom of a bottle white knuckling a knife to my wrist with my vision going in and out. Huge jump and totally pathetic I'm aware...
Eventually she contacted me and made me aware of the miscommunications that followed and shortly after we resolved the issues. She seemed hesitant to reconnect with me and we had a long conversation almost weekly about future plans and her mental well being. After this point there were major differences in her behavior, generally more negative and most conversations with her were short-lived and and monochrome for lack of a batter word. (I'm aware that's what depression is like, I just tried top keep her happy and ignore the symptoms)
She found some happiness in a car she had purchased a little while after her release (this vehicle was crashed recently). She started to spend more time with local car communities as she had always had interest in cars and said it "helped her make friends". I was wildly uncomfortable with this as I had mixed with the same crowd when I was a younger and knew it was primarily high school/college age males with large egos and a lot to prove. Some are very genuine human beings that have a passion for vehicles but the common denominator is not someone I'd want anyone I care about around. When I brought this issue up with her I tried to explain my discomfort and how I wasn't stopping her... This led to her crying and explaining it was her one source of friends.
To wrap this up I think I made a mistake this week by calling her out on her behavior and to summarize "I'm sorry you're having a bad time, and I want to help you and stick this out with you no matter what, but you need to treat me better"
This resulted in her crying and calling her mother to drive her home. she visited me the next day and brought food but not much was said besides me apologizing. It's been a week since then with no contact I try to give her space due to her aforementioned issues but I sent a message Thursday and called earlier today. both left unanswered, I have her location and she has mine and during both times I tried to contact her she was with her car friends...
It's currently 12:10 (this women is asleep in bed at 9pm daily) and she's still out...
I really love this girl but each time I'm left without contact and have to be the bigger person and walk into an emotional mine field to defuse the situation I care a little less and become a little more angry. I'm at the point of ending the relationship due to the stress and emotional damage she has/is casing me... Before I make a big move I figure I should consult a third party or anyone who may have a different take or solution. I genuinely want to help this girl out of this but if she won't let me I can't help. Especially if I think she banging some dickhead with a riced out civic... Please be blatantly honest with me.
TLDR: Girlfriend of two years ended up in the ward then ghosted me, soon after she says she depressed and the only way she feels better is by being a side character in a really low budget fast and furious movie. Is my relationship doomed even though it was perfect until she got sent to the ward?