I (27F) don't know if I can continue a friendship with a friend (25NB) after a somewhat situationship
I (27F) developed feelings for a friend (25NB) over a year ago and they kinda rejected me after confessing my crush but we grew very close afterwards. Eventually my feelings turned into love and we would spend most of our time together. I was sensing a shift and started to hope for something more to develop after all because they also acted differently around me. We would talk everyday and spend a lot of time together, plan future trips etc. Couple of weeks ago things escalated and we kissed and almost hooked up. After that my friend wanted some space, saying they never wanted a relationship with anyone and they would love to continue the friendship but let it cool off for now. I understood but also felt/feel heartbroken.
Now people I talked to said I need to figure out if I really want to continue a friendship when that isn't what I want.
Don't get me wrong. I don't think a friendship is less than a relationship and I've stayed friends with crushes that rejected me before. But they are two different things. And I can't deny that it's breaking my heart knowing we won't share this. I've been in love for the first time and I can't really shake it off, I tried to stay friends before but it only deepened my feelings. And if we reduce the friendship to its bare minimum to avoid them coming up again, I would just mourn the connection.
On the other hand do I care so deeply for them. The idea of leaving breaks my heart and just imagining the conversation makes me cry. I always want to choose love and be with the people I care most about and everything will sort itself out somehow. But I feel it won't be so easy this time. So much has happened and I got a glimpse of what I really wanted. I don't know how to continue.
I'm truly lost and I don't know what to do. Would you stay or go?