u/BackgroundGloomy3240

I'm a nsclc cancer patient currently in remission,

My adult son has distanced himself. I'm elderly, about 3 1/2 years post surgery for lung cancer. Chemo and immunotherapy apparently worked because I'm still alive but it had a bad effect. I was virtually bedridden for over a year because of weakness and unrelenting fatigue.

My son was very supportive for almost a year then began distancing himself and now is incommunicado. I don't see the grandchildren either. My wife (not his mother); of over thirty years is also ignored and is upset.

The only change is my cancer. I'm still very weak and we may need to transition to assisted living soon or get serious household help.

I know cancer can have strange effects on family members and wonder if complete avoidance is something common?Its upsetting and bizarre.

patient

After 12 years, wife and I are reviewing our wills/revocable trust. I want to set up an irrevocable trust for minor grandchildren to be funded by TOD. New lawyer wants to do this within the revocable trust (which becomes irrevocable at death) and I prefer to keep the two separate since there will be different trustees. I don't understand lawyer's reasoning and they cat fully explain it.

Is there any reason not to have a separate irrevocable doctumten drawn up? We're in NH and I'm 87 so tie is important.