r/EstatePlanning

In state of AZ. In process of creating a revocable trust for family members. Beneficiaries are two adults. The estate planning atty told us that, as one member of the family is on SSDI, they will automatically be disqualified for that if they inherit. The atty advised a separate special needs trust to be established for the disabled family member, to be administered by a sibling. The person on SSDI is not mentally incapacitated. SSDI is not based on income. I don't believe the atty is correct. I asked specifically if they were thinking of SSI which is a means tested benefit, while this family member has SSDI. He very confidently claimed it didn't matter if you had SSI or SSDI, inheriting would automatically disqualify and the only way to protect the inheritance is through a special needs trust.

I have two step kids and two kids with my husband. My husband had some money when we met while I had nothing, and he has earned significantly more than I have for the ten years that we’ve been together. I will probably have a large enough inheritance to make it almost even. I would prefer not to have separate finances—I would like to bring my inheritance to the marriage as he has most of his salary. But I want an equitable estate plan that leaves our kids with roughly the same amount of money. He wants to just split his four ways, which means my step kids will inherit twice (their mom makes more than he does). He says the answer is for me to just keep my inheritance separate so my kids inherit twice too. I don’t love this idea for two reasons: it might be unfair the other way (he doesn’t have significant savings because he will have a pension, while I plan to contribute to our life in retirement at something like a 4% withdrawal rate and leave the principal for the estate), and I think life is just better as a married couple when money is shared. What do people do in this situation? I fully agree the step kids should get their share when he dies, if he dies first, and not have to wait for me to die.

Hey all, my husband and I are located in Los Angeles for work but eventually want to move back down to San Diego in 5-10 years since that’s where our families are. We have a home and a 3 year old and would like to look into creating a will and a trust. I’ve heard it’s better and more convenient to have someone local assist with your trust, however I’m not sure if:

1. We should find someone in San Diego to create the

will and trust

1. (since that’s where we plan to reside long term) OR
2. Find someone in Los Angeles to create the

will and a trust

1. and then find another attorney once we’re in San Diego to create a

will and trust

1. again.

Am I making this more complicated than it should be? Please share all advice! Thank you in advance.

US, California based. My family has a trust that my younger brother (46) is the executor of. In case something were to happen to my brother, I am not the backup executor, which stung to learn, but I understand… I’m a civil servant, not very capitalistic and I’ve made mistakes with investments along the way.

I (48) have had to wrangle my mom to even let me see the trust, and she told me to absolutely not let anyone else look at it. Her usual response whenever I ask any questions about it is, “you don’t show any interest.” I live out of state and do not want to manage any of their assets after they pass… property management/business management/etc. I have my own full life and my own separate career. I’m not a gold digger… just someone who has a vested interest in my family home and possessions for sentimental reasons, and because… isn’t it fair that assets would be split 50/50 between siblings? I’m just interested in what’s fair, and I’d love to somehow maintain good faith with my brother. I have seen families absolutely implode over this stuff, and it terrifies me. My family already does a lot of triangulation, and I have very different core values than they do (example: they are very religious, I’m not), hence why I live out of state.

I would love to talk to my brother about this, but I’m worried he’ll just go back to my parents, which will upset them. I have always felt like a massive joke to my family despite my accomplishments, and the idea of my younger brother somehow being like a financial custodian to me makes my skin crawl. I only seek what’s fair, and without stirring up unnecessary trouble, I simply want to be prepared for the wall of grief that will hit me when my parents pass, and to avoid a war with my only sibling.

Open to your suggestions. Please be kind.

My father has passed sadly. I was designated next of kin for end of life decisions on hospice and cremation. He does not have a will. He was married and divorced over 40+ years ago. He had another child to that woman but ultimately severed his legal rights to him and my dad’s mom legally adopted him (well, kidnapped him first). I’m his only legal son. I’m trying to get the ball rolling with an estate attorney to gain legal control but have to wait for the death certs. His mom is still alive, and she’s giving off vibes that her and the other son are entitled to half his estate and everything else. She’s even trying to ask for a death certificate which she will not get. I have a feeling she’s going to try to contest it but I don’t think she legally has a leg to stand on. Does she if I’m literally the next in line on the hierarchy behind a spouse (which he doesn’t have)? This is in PA & btw she is a very rotten woman whom my dad more or less hated his entire life. So she wants a piece of the pie now to get the other son out of prison and buy him a welcome home gift (a suburban lmao)

This is in NY.

My Father in Law (FIL) had a will written up many years ago. The will states that all of my FIL's assets pass to my Mother in Law (MIL) upon his death. If both of them pass then all assets pass in equal shares to my Brother in Law and the <my last name> children.

My in laws have 3 children: my wife, a son, and another daughter. My FIL had a bad relationship with my SIL before he passed and wanted his assets to pass specifically to his son and my and my wife's children. My SIL also has children, and he wanted the will to be worded in a way that made it very clear which grandchildren received the inheritance. The solution was to use the terminology of the <my last name> children and it also includes a clause that states to the effect that after consideration <SIL's name> has been excluded from any inheritance.

FIL and BIL have both passed away. MIL has 2 major assets: her cash in 2 bank accounts and her house. MIL has added my wife as a joint account holder to one account and as a beneficiary to the other account. I have a couple of questions.

1. Do the bank accounts bypass the will since my wife's name is joint account holder on one and beneficiary on the other? I'm assuming yes to the former, but unsure on the latter. Does the beneficiary designation override the will?

2. MIL has a better relationship with SIL than her husband did. MIL also does not want to go to the lawyer to have the will revised. My plan is sit down with her and ask her what her wishes are to at least have something informal either verbally or written down even if it's not legally binding. If my wife has access to the bank accounts when MIL passes away is she then able to legally split whatever is in there with her sister should she choose?

3. The house has a reverse mortgage on it. Once MIL passes away we need to sell the house and pay the mortgage back assuming the value of the house is more than the value of the lien. Whatever proceeds are left will then go to my wife's children as dictated by the will and go into a trust until they are 25. We have no control over this money until it is dispersed to my children at which point they may decide what to do with it. IE we have no way to split the money from the sale of the house with my SIL with how the will is currently worded?

Thank you in advance for any advice.

Location: MN

My parents co-own a home with my uncle, and my uncle no longer wants to remain on the title. We plan to use a quitclaim deed to transfer his interest and remove his name.

While making this change, we are considering adding my name to the title as joint as part of long-term asset/estate planning. There would be no money exchanged.

Would it be advisable to add me to the title at the same time? What are the legal, tax, and financial implications we should consider? Our strategy is planning. Would it better if we just remove everyone name and add mine only? I )lThanks!

Do you often get folks who don’t want to leave all their money to their family and offer it to you as the attorney? Have you ever suggested adding a non-lineage family they admire or want to support?

Location: Washington State

Is estate executor supposed to close estate bank account when the estate is closed with probate court? I would think that in theory that is what supposed to happen. But I have seen the opposite happens in real life.

What if the estate bank account is already closed when the estate is closed with probate court, then the estate gets a check payment (like an IRS refund), how can the estate beneficiary cash the check? Do they have to re-open the estate with the probate court?

I’m in Texas. Over the last several months I’ve designed and drafted a complete multi‑entity estate plan for myself. It includes:

· A revocable living trust declared as a 300‑year dynasty trust (Iron & Indigo Trust)

· A pour‑over will

· An irrevocable life insurance trust (ILIT) with a Crummey compliance manual

· An irrevocable asset protection trust (IAPT)

· A Wyoming LLC operating agreement with charging order protection, directed trustee provisions, and a patent defense fund

· Durable power of attorney, medical POA, directive to physicians, HIPAA

· A prenuptial agreement template and a shareholder agreement framework

I’ve done extensive research. The documents address the Texas Property Code § 112.038 no‑contest carve‑out, the § 114.0031 directed trustee statute, the Wyoming charging order exclusivity under Wyo. Stat. § 17‑29‑503, and the I.R.C. § 2514 lapse‑vs‑release distinction for the Crummey forms. I’ve verified compliance with the Texas Estates Code execution formalities (two disinterested witnesses, self‑proving affidavit). I know the documents need final review before I sign.

I spoke with an estate planning attorney today. He didn’t look at my documents. He told me he wants to start from scratch and quoted $7,500. I respect that his standard process is to draft everything himself, but that’s not what I’m looking for.

My questions:

1. Why would a lawyer insist on starting from scratch rather than reviewing what I’ve already built?
2. Is it reasonable to expect to find an attorney who will do a limited‑scope review of pre‑drafted documents for a flat fee?
3. Can anyone recommend a estate planning attorney who is open to reviewing self‑drafted documents and advising on execution, rather than replacing them entirely?

I’m looking for a flat‑fee, limited‑scope engagement: review my documents, identify any errors or gaps, advise me on proper execution and funding. I’m not asking an attorney to put their name on the line for a plan they didn’t design. I just want a second set of professional eyes before I sign.

Thanks in advance.

Update: I am removing the Wyoming altogether and getting a lawyer.

My husband and I have a will and testamentary trust done when our children were younger. Also did some codicil to update a few year back. They are now adults and I feel like we need to do a revocable trust to save them from going through the probate system. We own 4 properties and have various investments. How difficult and costly is the probate system in Colorado and would it save them a bunch of hassle to not go through probate. I have heard probate attorney around $5000?

My son’s father passed in February, we live in Florida in broward county, his aunt filed probate for his estate and lied on the application saying that he has no child.

He only had 1 child with me and never been married to me or anyone else so my son is his only heir. She is doing this out of spite and I know it.

I found out this today. I never filed for probate because I didn’t know his assets, he didn’t have a property and his car wasn’t fully paid, I know he has a 401k and most likely a good amount in his savings but not sure how to find out. I guess he has enough since the aunt decided to file for it and it’s a “formal administration”

What can I do? Should I call her lawyer and tell him he in fact has a son and she knowingly lied about it? What if she decides to challenge it? This is so stressful

Update: I went to the U.S. Will Registry and was not able to find my father's will. I also went to my state's probate court site and did not find a case. I'm stumped.

My father died several years ago in South Carolina at the beginning of the COVID crisis. He named my stepbrother as executor. When my father died my SB announced that the "(family name) bank is closed". All of my father's other children had borrowed money from my dad at one time or another and never paid anything back, but my dad was OK with this. He had been an economist and many years ago had started a family trust. My brother says that dad had showed him some of the trust paperwork and it had performed VERY well. But according to my SB, there was nothing left to any if the kids and the trust was basically empty. However, my brother says that my SB's ex wife hired an investigator to look into my SB's finances. The investigator found that there was still plenty of money in the family trust and that my SB was borrowing against it. This was how he paid for building a new house shortly after dad died. Borrowing against the trust allows him to avoid paying the taxes that he would owe if he withdrew money. He does still support my stepmother (his mother). My brother has ongoing health problems and got taken advantage of by his ex and now is trying to live off of just social security and medicare. I was forced into taking early retirement due to an emergency health issue that is still plaguing me a spawning new problems. I've been denied SSDI twice even though I cannot work and have had multiple surgeries and another coming up. I've tried asking my SB about the trust and dad's will, but he just says that dad didn't leave so much as a note to me and the trust was empty. I obviously cannot afford a lawyer and am frankly astonished that my SB is acting this way. I mean, I wasn't raised with him but my brother was for several years and he has 3 full sisters and none of us got anything. Is there any way of getting a copy of my dad's will without my SB knowing? If I've been misled I don't want to ruin the barely-there relationship that we have or to cause undo tension in the family. However, if he is only looking out for himself and his kids while lying to the rest of us I'd like to know.

Plus, even after years it hurts that dad didn't leave me so much as a note. I hope that isn't true and that he remembered me in some small way. Incidentally, the only thing that I ever asked my dad for was his vintage science fiction books that he used when teaching me to read. My SB has those and finally sent me ONE of the books but refused to tell me how many others that he's got or any of the titles.

My parents own property worth about $2m. They want to sell me that property for $300k so they can improve their second home in Florida and live the rest of their lives down there. I don't really see a down side to this except I have numerous siblings who are upset that the parents are selling me the property (none of the siblings have the means or the ability to live on that property due to it's remote location). I am retiring next year and this would be a good move for me. However; there is no Trust set up. They have a will - which I have no idea what is in it. I know they have difficult relationships with all of the children except me - mostly because I am the oldest and was very independent and took care of myself from an early age.

Is there any chance this could come bite me in the butt later on when they pass? Is there something I need to do to protect myself from any of my siblings who might raise a legal stink?

I keep thinking I should estate plan and get life insurance, but it's one of those things I get so overwhelmed trying to learn what I need – versus just what someone is trying to sell me.

Here's my Stats:

• 35yo
• Minnesota
• Home-Owner with Mortgage
• Unmarried; may or may not someday
• No kids, not going to have kids.
• Virtually no savings.
• <$10,000 in retirement
• Paid-off car, reliable and lots of life left.
• $90,000 federal student loans (all in my name, no cosigned)

Things I would want:

1. My house to either go to a specific sibling, or be sold if my student loans need to be paid off.

2. My dog is very important to me, I have specific caretakers in mind and I'd like to have a portion of care costs covered (if I get life insurance/a special savings acct).

3. Burial Costs covered; natural burial

4. Some specifics about what I would/wouldn't want at a funeral (no idea if that's part of what's in a Will)

5. Retirement funds would go to my closest friend.

From what I know, a Trust is a great way to benefit loved ones and avoid probate, etc. But I don't know if you have to have a certain amount of assets for it to be worth it? Is it a hassle to manage while you're living, as far as updating what's included in it or any annual costs associated?

Or is a basic, regular will enough for someone with very little assets?

I do have a past Ch 7 bankruptcy in my history; I'm not sure if anything can get recouped in the event of my death and sale of assets.

AZ/CA

I 46M am the estate trustee for my mother who is extremely ill. She also has an adopted under age child 12M years old.

There were a few properties that were transfered into my name when my younger siblings passed away. My question is about clawback.

From what I read. Clawback is not pursued if there is an under age dependent of the deceased. Does anyone have experience with this type of situation?

Say mom of special needs adult child dies suddenly—who will be legally allowed to step in to take care of the special needs individual while all the legal stuff is sorted out? Can it be a neighbor, a friend, or someone the family hires temporarily? I understand that a new guardian can be nominated in the parent’s will and an official new guardian will have to be appointed by a court. But what happens in the interim and what is the best plan for that?

Location: California

My impression is that for most USA business owners these exist in completely separate silos, with different attorneys, different CPAs, nobody really talking to each other, but i don't know how true that is in practice.

For advisors or attorneys here: how often do you actually see a business owner whose succession plan and estate plan are genuinely integrated? and when it's not, what's usually the structural mess you're walking into. Is it entity issues, real estate held separately, retirement plan stuff that wasn't modeled or coordinated correctly against the exit?

Also how early are owners typically coming to you before exit, and is it usually early enough to do anything meaningful or are you mostly cleaning up? Wondering if there are certain types of owners where this gap is especially bad, professional service firms, family businesses, specific industries, etc.

Last night my stepsister messaged me on Facebook tricking me into saying I do not care about our father's estate. He passed on April 3rd. I have not spoke to either of them in over 30 years - after last night it was clear I made the right choice.

He was my stepfather - adopted me when I was 3 and was married to my mom for 50 years, she passed a couple of years ago. I never had a relationship with her either.

Honestly, I did not care about the estate at all until my stepsister basically verbally abused me last night. My other stepsister (her real sister) - does not talk to her either.

My good stepsister and I do not know if we are in the will or not. The estate is not big so I am not going to fight anything, but if we are in there, we do want what was left to us.

My evil stepsister took care of dad for the last 3 or so years and lives near him - she did not talk to him for like 30 years before that. My other sister and I are in the Northeast.

I know I can get a probate lawyer - but hate spending money just to find out we are not in the will.

I called the county this morning - probate does not seem to have started yet.

I am not sure the best route to take here? I know nothing about his financial situation and do not even have his social to get a death certificate.

- Do I attempt to start probate myself?
- Is there any way to get a copy of the will - or find out if there even is one?
- What happens if there is no will?

Any advice or tips would be so appreciated!

This is in NJ (throwaway account).

Estate is simple - house paid off, one car also paid off, and cash in a couple of bank accounts. Each account is actually joint ownership with one of the two children. Parents idea was always "it will be easy on them when they go". One account has about 1.5-2 times the other - this is not by design, but by how monies had been distributed and used to pay for current expenses. Will says each one get 50%. There's a small trust for the funeral expenses. One parent already passed away.

One child has been helping with the finances and is to be the named executor. Oh, and the executor is NOT the one one with bigger account... Hopefully the other sibling would be nice enough to give back the difference? (sure..)

So when the time comes, technically each account passes down to each child. The car and house (and contents) would be divided in two and proceeds to each child. But does the executor pay OOP for any expenses (outstanding bills, taxes, etc) and then reimburse out the the car/house?

TIA.