r/EstatePlanning

I spent the last two months helping my aunt settle my uncle is estate. They were organized people, but so much of the important information only existed in conversations they had together. We were not looking for missing documents as much as missing context. By the time everything was finished I realized I dont want my own family dealing with that someday. Has anyone else changed the way they organize things after helping someone else's family?

This is in NYC. Uncle died with no kids so my brother is going to petition to become executor of his estate. There's a big house and a couple hundred thousand dollars at play.

Uncle had no remaining living siblings other than our mom who says everything was supposed to go to me and my brother in the first place and has vowed to give us her eventual share. But we have four cousins from a deceased Aunt who to my understanding will now represent her as far as what is dispersed by the court.

One of these cousins is a psychotic, bipolar felon who we are afraid will try to block my brother from becoming executor. And then we're afraid that he will make the entire process a living hell if he's able to in any way. No one even knows how to contact him and he is often homeless. Is there any way to keep this person out of the process and block them from inheriting anything? Or will the court just do everything in their power to hunt them down and tie things up indefinitely?

Been sitting with this question for a while. My spouse and I went through our accounts last year and found an old 401k from a previous employer, one I had rolled over mentally but never actually touched the paperwork on. The beneficiary designation was blank. Not wrong, not outdated, just blank.

From what I've read, a retirement account with no named beneficiary defaults to the estate in most cases, which means it loses the stretch provisions, goes through probate, and gets taxed on a compressed timeline. That's a meaningful difference from how we'd planned for it.

We updated it. But the experience made me realize we had never treated beneficiary designations as a separate audit from the trust and will. We reviewed the trust documents twice since drafting them and never once pulled up the actual account statements to verify the designations were still in place and pointing the right direction

How do other people handle this - is there a practical cadence for checking these, or can an attorney help build that into the broader estate review so nothing falls through the gap again? The blank field wasn't a mistake anyone made on purpose. It was just something that got skipped and stayed skipped for years longer than it should have

I live in CT. My husband and I own a home together and it is our only property. We bought it before we were married and contributed (and contribute) to it equally. This is a second marriage and we each have kids from a prior marriage. We are in our 60s.

We recently met with an estate lawyer who suggested that we each put our "half" of our home in a life estate for the other, with each of our kids (or a trust which benefits our kids) as the "remaindermen." The lawyer said that this way, if one of us dies first, there is no worry about the remaining spouse disinheriting the children.

We have a decent amount of assets (mostly in retirement) outside of our home and our initial plan was to leave a portion of those assets to our children payable upon each of our deaths, and that would be their inheritance. Then, when the remaining spouse dies, all children would get an equal share of the home (if we still own it). For some reason, this idea of a life estate is really bothering me - because it seems like it overly complicates things and could make it difficult for the remaining spouse to sell or do anything without permission from the "life estate" trustee. I want things simple, and while I understand that there is no guarantee a widow/widower won't run off and remarry and then disinherit the kids, my view is that the kids will already have received plenty of money if one of us dies. (My spouse also has family money that will likely go directly to his kids so less to worry about on that side than on my side.) If we have a situation where we are 80, and our retirement funds are very depleted, and we don't have much extra to leave the kids, I might consider the life estate, but to have that restriction on someone makes me nervous.

I'm not sure why the lawyer is so hot on this - can someone else explain? We both have advanced degrees (though not in law) and have done our share of researching this, but would love to hear from any lawyers out there or someone who has been through this.

Sorry for the novel and thank you!

I am looking for some advice on my grandmother's (82f) situation. She recently moved from Florida to Tennesee to live close to my parents. She has a will in place but the address is still the old Florida address. Does she need to make an entirely new will or will a codicil be sufficient to update the address? If the latter, is that something we need a lawyer to draft?

Now here are some things that could make the situation more complicated. My dad is currently the sole beneficiary in the will. There were issues between my grandparents and his brother, so the brother has been cut out. The brother is aware of this. Recently the brother has been making comments and raising concerns that my grandmother is not fully mentally with it. She is still fine. Our concern is that he is trying to build a case that she is not with it before she updates or makes a new will.

Is there any foreseeable risks or concerns with the brother and her needing to update her address in the will? If she only needs a codicil to change the address is mental capacity even an issue?

Ohio. We have life insurance policies naming our trust as the beneficiary. After we are both dead, the Trustee of the Trust is currently a bank that will no longer do trust services as of the end of 2026. In our search for a new successor trustee, we're having a hard time deciding whether to use a trust company that also takes care of the investing, or one in which our children (beneficiaries of the trust) would consult with a financial advisor to do the investing side, if they desire. Both types of trustee companies charge huge fees. Either way, potentially, all the money could be lost (worst-case scenario) if bad investments are made. Is either option safer than the other in that regard. We don't want to name our children as trustees to prevent loss of the money if they are sued/get divorced, etc. Thank you for your thoughts.

I live in Texas. Our checking account, savings account, cd's, annuities, life insurance have beneficiaries named. Wife and I on house deed. One car. 3 kids. Should I get a revocable trust? Or would a TOD only do the job?

I start 3L next week and plan to work in industry after law school. If I want to work for a small firm (1-10 attorneys), should I start reaching out to firms now, or closer to graduation time?

Context: I interned in big law this summer, hated it, decided to switch paths. Accounting major in undergrad and spent years working as a tax accountant prior to law school. Not planning on getting an LLM. Don’t know if this all helps or hurts my chances?

Location: Cleveland Ohio.
Parents home in name of Dad, his wife (step mom), and me. I have no money invested in house, but name is on deed and mortgage. Dad is dying soon. Stepmom will want to sell house and downsize, as she is getting frail. Question: Should I push to take 1/3 of the profit if sold, or leave it all with stepmom to fund housing etc for balance of her life? (she has no kids or other family). I can see practical arguments both ways.

Hi, I’m currently a college freshman and looking to see what I want to do with my future. I’ve been sure I want to be some type of lawyer but I much prefer something more like this compared to criminal law.

Estate planning law is something I read about and it sounds interesting to me. What steps can I take to set myself up here? I see people say you need a JD and also an LLM or to become a tax lawyer and do estate instead. It’s all a little conflicting.

Also, what schools are good for this kind of law? Any in USA particular that are good for it? Or does it not matter too much as long as it’s a good law school? Thanks!!!

NJ/NYC/ CONNETICUT USA.

I'm a solo practitioner focused on trusts and probate. I've been practicing for three years, and the firm I worked at before going solo had an in-house notary, so I never had to think about whether it would be worth it to get commissioned myself versus continuing to rely on outside notaries for trust and will signings.

The upside seems obvious: convenience and cost savings, since I could handle signings entirely in-house without scheduling around a third party. But I want to know if there are any drawbacks worth weighing before I go down this route.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

Been listening to a lot of small business podcasts lately and this topic keeps coming up sideways - someone mentions it briefly and moves on. What actually happens to a sole owner's business interest when they die with no buysell agreement and no clear succession language in the estate documents?

The scenarios I keep turning over: a small LLC with two or three members where one dies and the surviving members suddenly have to deal with that person's spouse or adult kids as de facto coowners. Or a sole proprietor where the business just sits there while probate drags on and the value bleeds out

I get that a funded buysell agreement is the cleaner path, but a lot of small business owners just never get there. What actually happens in practice when the estate hits probate without that structure? Does the business interest get appraised and liquidated? Do surviving partners have any leverage, or are they stuck negotiating with whoever inherits the interest?

Asking because I've been thinking about this from the estate side rather than the business side. Meaning what planning documents could have prevented the mess, not what the business owners should have done operationally

My husband (59) and I (66) own a two-family home in our names, and we also have assets in our 401(k) accounts. We live in New York City.

We are beginning to plan for the future and want to make sure our assets are protected if either of us eventually needs long-term care or has to enter a nursing home. Neither one of us has long-term care insurance. And would not want any liens in our house. We have two children’s that we would like them to inherit this house.

We are also concerned about what would happen if one of us became incapacitated and was no longer able to manage or withdraw money from our 401(k).
What estate-planning documents or types of trusts would be most beneficial for us in these situations? We would like to understand the different options available, including the pros and cons of each, and how they could help protect our home, retirement accounts, and other assets while still allowing us to maintain as much control and flexibility as possible.

State: Texas

I am trying to understand something about estate planning after a family situation changes.

A relative had an estate plan prepared several years ago when their family situation was very different. Since then one of the people named in the documents is no longer someone they want involved, and another family member has become much more important in their day-to-day life.

The question came up about whether the old documents should simply be amended or whether it makes more sense to have the whole plan reviewed again.

What surprised me is how many things can change over several years without anyone thinking about the estate plan. Beneficiaries, people chosen to handle things, property, bank accounts and even family relationships can all be different.

For those familiar with estate planning in Texas, what kinds of life changes should normally trigger a full review rather than just changing one document?

I understand this is not legal advice and that an attorney would need to look at the actual situation. I'm mainly interested in hearing how others approach reviewing an older estate plan.

My wife’s ex passed away and apparently he didn’t have a will, trust, or enough assets to file a claim with probate. Sounds like a small estate affidavit needs to be put together but his mother is pushing for my wife to sign the affidavit and handle everything on his behalf. Not sure why she wants that but my wife absolutely will not sign or handle any of the debts, taxes, or anything else. They do have two kids, he owed back child support and has a guardian assigned to the small life insurance he did have put together for the kids. Is it as simple as saying no or is there any way his parents can force through the court for my wife to handle this? Any advice on this situation or information on how child support is handled in this situation along with social security benefits? Do we need a lawyer for this situation?

Location: Louisiana, USA

I am drafting my will and there are no family members, friends, acquaintances, etc. to whom I could pass on my assets. But what I am concerned about is the disposal of my remains. I will be cremated, of course, but the question is what then happens to the cremains. Since I do not have the money to purchase a niche in a columbarium, and there is no one around who will accept my ashes, I would like to specify a quick and easy means of disposing of the ashes. After hearing what the family of Dee Dee Blanchard did (or did not) do to her remains, I find it appropriate that my ashes be flushed down the toilet by whoever ends up in possession of them. Is this something that, if written into my will, would be legally enforceable? Thank you.

I have booked a lawyer for later on this week but unsure whether I have any grounds to pursue this horrible situation.
My uncle was diagnosed with vascular dementia and during this time his defacto partner shut me (his niece) and the rest of his family out , she was blocking contact as he became unable to communicate in his vulnerable state.
As he got worst his affairs were taken over by state trustees as there was no POA in place , during this time she was investigated by state trustees for severe financial abuse , it went to vcat but nothing was resolved she in fact did not turn up to the hearing and did not give any explanation as to the missing funds from his accounts.
Unfortunately my uncle passed away about 3 weeks ago , an absolutely horrible time as she told us we were not welcome at his funeral .
Another action motivated by her fear and greed .
My understanding now is that state trustees have passed things over to her for probate , being his ‘defacto’ , The family knows that my uncle did not want her to be full beneficiary of his estate , but he did not have a will .Have we any recourse ? Or should I leave it alone ?

EDIT: ***Never mind any of this!*** According to my brother, it's a revocable trust; my mother misstated that it's irrevocable. Good. Freaking. Grief.

Hi all,

I was wondering if any folks could offer insight into how things would work if my mother, a resident of Massachusetts, wants to sell a rental property that she put in the irrrevocable trust, whether the proceeds of the sale could go back into the trust, etc. I will consult an estate planning attorney as well, but I was curious if I could get an initial sense of things from here.

My mother set up an irrevocable trust after the death of my father in which she has me and my brother as both the trustees and beneficiaries due to the high degree of trust that we will carry out her wishes. She had included her rental property in the trust and is under the mistaken impression that she has to sell the property off before she dies. She's also made recent remarks that at age 75, she is getting too old to be a landlady and wishes she could travel during the summers instead of sticking around to ensure the leases and tenant turnovers for this rental property to college students goes smoothly. If you looked on other parts of Reddit, you could see that I tried very hard to get recommendations for property managers to handle the day-to-day management of the property; despite getting several great names and having conference calls with multiple prospects, she refuses to believe that property managers can help her rent out the property and thinks they're essentially a scam to get a list of repair people, which she explains she already has. My brother and I were at our wits end trying to advise her to renovate one of the two units using above board contractors and going through proper permitting processes, but she also refused this. She ended up doing a complete update for 80K this summer using the unlicensed/ uncertified under the table person from the same immigrant community that her friends who are landladies from this same community used for their renovation projects. It actually looks pretty good, and I guess the unlicensed guy knows some licensed electricians and plumbers who were able to pull permits on his behalf? I don't know if this is some kind of kick-back scheme or how it all was done both because my mom was being super secretive and doesn't care/is clueless about details in any case (she somehow paid the guy 80K and only knows his first name in their native language!).

At this point, before she further damages the value of the property through her "repairs" and "renovations" (she is a 4'9" force of nature who managed to browbeat the unlicensed guy into some kind of slapdash cheap repair of the pipe that carries waste water out of the house through the whole length of the basement, even though he initially wasn't comfortable doing that and was trying to explain that the whole system needed to be replaced), we realize it would be best for her to just sell the property, despite the fact that she'll need to pay an estate planning attorney more fees (she does not love spending money on such things, if you haven't caught on) and doesn't need to sell it in the first place (which she also refuses to believe). Even if we managed to convince her to hire a property manager, she likely would get fired as a client right away, since she would not be willing to do any repairs or further renovations the proper way.

Side note: re all the things she refuses to believe, my brother and I are having difficulty determining if this is just her usual stubborn as all heck nature, or if there may be the start of something neurodegenerative going on in addition. She unwittingly signed herself up for an Alzheimer's research study for the free coupon at CVS (thank god, she never ever otherwise would have willingly gotten herself evaluated!), and although she has some protein biomarkers in her blood, the diagnostic value of these biomarkers is controversial, and her performance on the comprehensive neuropsychological testing has been stably in the mild cognitive impairment range, meaning it's below her premorbid functioning and not normal, but also not low enough (yet?) to meet criteria for dementia. I suppose at some point down the line, if her POA for estate gets activated, my brother could manage renovations and what not with the property manager (I'm the HCP since I'm a healthcare professional). However, the non-renovated unit is getting to be in bad shape, and the student renters apparently are having more and more issues with it; my mother's current plan is to bring in the same under the table guy to redo the downstairs next summer, then sell.

State is North Carolina.

I've hired an attorney and had my initial consultation with her about establishing a revocable trust for my estate. Current plan is to leave 50% of the estate to specific relatives and friends and the remainder 50% to establish an ongoing educational trust for beneficiary nieces / nephews, grand- nieces / grand-nephews (per stirpes). It would cover college/university/trade school only and it's possible this would become generational.

I plan to talk further with my attorney about this topic, as well as a more detailed conversation with a corporate trustee who would administer the educational trust for feedback and their recommendations, but would like to walk into those conversations having though through some of the trickier aspects beforehand.

My question: What guardrails and guidance should I place in the educational trust to keep it from being abused and avoid fraud (while not obtaining access to the funds so onerous that it doesn't get used or make it difficult to administer)?

Some notes I've jotted down as I've thought about this.

• Limit of payment for associates degree - 3 years max subject to review of trustee of circumstances
• Limit of payment for bachelors degree - 5 years max subject to review of trustee of circumstances
• Limit of payment for masters degree - 3 years max subject to review of trustee of circumstances
• Limit of payment for trade school - 3 years max subject to review of trustee of circumstances
• No doctorate coverage
• No primary or secondary education (K-12) coverage
• OK to cover associates + bachelor + masters in sequence, don't have to pick just one
• Must carry minimum 2.5 GPA or pass in pass/fail for subsequent payments. OK to re-qualify if GPA dips below and relative gets their GPA average back up
• Cover tuition, on-campus lodging, book costs. (probably needs input from professional trustee firm)
• Currently thinking student or family would cover any off-campus housing and stipend/living expenses but if I can put reasonable guardrails around that might also include this

Thanks in advance for any thoughts on additional reasonable guardrails or gotchas I should consider.

Arizona but it doesn’t matter. My mother had a bad health scare. She was in ICU on a ventilator for a week. Super scary. She had a medical POA with my sister but not on file with the hospital. She had verbally told my siblings and I that I had financial POA.

Anyway, at day 4, the hospital starts having general and gentle conversations about living wills, mom’s wishes things like that. No decisions yet but preparing you. We go to mom’s safe, no papers. WTF? We end up calling the attorney and asking him to send us everything. She told us it’s all documented and taken care of but where are the documents mom????

Meanwhile, we have to break into her utility accounts (guessed her passwords based on a sticky note by the computer) to pay her late utility bills. Why aren’t these on autopay???!

No real questions here but we will be having a direct conversation with my parent. Make this easy on your kids - please.

I will be going home and putting everything in order. That includes listing out utilities, account numbers, passwords, auto bill.

I can’t make my mom be organized but I will damn sure do better by my kids.