u/Masseyclip12

This is in NY.

My Father in Law (FIL) had a will written up many years ago. The will states that all of my FIL's assets pass to my Mother in Law (MIL) upon his death. If both of them pass then all assets pass in equal shares to my Brother in Law and the <my last name> children.

My in laws have 3 children: my wife, a son, and another daughter. My FIL had a bad relationship with my SIL before he passed and wanted his assets to pass specifically to his son and my and my wife's children. My SIL also has children, and he wanted the will to be worded in a way that made it very clear which grandchildren received the inheritance. The solution was to use the terminology of the <my last name> children and it also includes a clause that states to the effect that after consideration <SIL's name> has been excluded from any inheritance.

FIL and BIL have both passed away. MIL has 2 major assets: her cash in 2 bank accounts and her house. MIL has added my wife as a joint account holder to one account and as a beneficiary to the other account. I have a couple of questions.

Do the bank accounts bypass the will since my wife's name is joint account holder on one and beneficiary on the other? I'm assuming yes to the former, but unsure on the latter. Does the beneficiary designation override the will?
MIL has a better relationship with SIL than her husband did. MIL also does not want to go to the lawyer to have the will revised. My plan is sit down with her and ask her what her wishes are to at least have something informal either verbally or written down even if it's not legally binding. If my wife has access to the bank accounts when MIL passes away is she then able to legally split whatever is in there with her sister should she choose?
The house has a reverse mortgage on it. Once MIL passes away we need to sell the house and pay the mortgage back assuming the value of the house is more than the value of the lien. Whatever proceeds are left will then go to my wife's children as dictated by the will and go into a trust until they are 25. We have no control over this money until it is dispersed to my children at which point they may decide what to do with it. IE we have no way to split the money from the sale of the house with my SIL with how the will is currently worded?

Thank you in advance for any advice.

I had an ultrasound for something unrelated happened to find two kidney stones incidentally. I saw a urologist and she ordered a litholink. I did the litholink and received the results, but my follow-up appointment is not for a few weeks. I'm currently not experiencing any kidney stone symptoms.

From the results of my test, my stones can apparently either be calcium oxalate or uric acid stones since they're both elevated. I was also probably dehydrated because my urine was pretty dark on a regular basis. Since finding out about the stones, I've since made it a point to drink a lot more during the day. For my litholink I produced over 3L of urine and I've been consistent with keeping myself hydrated.

I'm just not sure where to go from here as far as diet because I've cleaned up my diet significantly in the past few months. I developed worsening GERD in July 2025 and I was following a low acid diet. My weight and blood pressure had gone down a lot as a result. I initially thought that the kidney stones was going to be the result of high oxalates because I've been eating a lot of spinach, sweet potatoes, and nuts, but my oxalate level seems to be fine.

The obvious solution is lowering my salt intake. My blood pressure became pretty low since starting the GERD diet and was down in the low 100s/70s for a while, but something happened around February/March and I noticed my blood pressure has become more elevated. That combined with the high sodium, calcium, and chloride point towards too much salt intake. I'm just not sure how it's getting into my diet. We do a lot of cooking at home and only get takeout once a week. I'll occasionally go out for lunch for work, but I eat leftovers from home on most days.

I don't eat fast food or frozen foods.

My typical breakfast is oatmeal, banana, blueberries, maple syrup or 2 over easy eggs and 2 slices of toast made from homemade bread.

A typical meal that we have is chicken, a grain, and a vegetable. We do use soy sauce a couple of times a week which I now know I need to cut back on.

A typical snack is a piece of fruit or a couple of rye crackers (70mg sodium per 2) + some cheddar (170mg sodium per 1 oz) or a rice cake with natural no salt added peanut butter and a banana.

I do drink 1-2 beers a night on Saturday and Sunday.

I'm just not sure what I can change in my diet. Any help would be appreciated.

Mother in Law's assets: Will vs. named beneficiary

Litholink results and diet changes