u/TheCosmicPony

US, California based. My family has a trust that my younger brother (46) is the executor of. In case something were to happen to my brother, I am not the backup executor, which stung to learn, but I understand… I’m a civil servant, not very capitalistic and I’ve made mistakes with investments along the way.

I (48) have had to wrangle my mom to even let me see the trust, and she told me to absolutely not let anyone else look at it. Her usual response whenever I ask any questions about it is, “you don’t show any interest.” I live out of state and do not want to manage any of their assets after they pass… property management/business management/etc. I have my own full life and my own separate career. I’m not a gold digger… just someone who has a vested interest in my family home and possessions for sentimental reasons, and because… isn’t it fair that assets would be split 50/50 between siblings? I’m just interested in what’s fair, and I’d love to somehow maintain good faith with my brother. I have seen families absolutely implode over this stuff, and it terrifies me. My family already does a lot of triangulation, and I have very different core values than they do (example: they are very religious, I’m not), hence why I live out of state.

I would love to talk to my brother about this, but I’m worried he’ll just go back to my parents, which will upset them. I have always felt like a massive joke to my family despite my accomplishments, and the idea of my younger brother somehow being like a financial custodian to me makes my skin crawl. I only seek what’s fair, and without stirring up unnecessary trouble, I simply want to be prepared for the wall of grief that will hit me when my parents pass, and to avoid a war with my only sibling.

Open to your suggestions. Please be kind.

Hey folks,

I (45F) am moving back to Bham in a couple of weeks and while I’m building an online business that will launch in the fall, I’ll be looking for PT seasonal work and wanted to see what ideas people have.

I enjoy doing cleaning/organizing work, so will likely be doing a bit of that, but wanted to see what else people might suggest… recreation, summer school, summer camps, landscaping, farming, etc… stuff that would ideally have me working outside. Looking for $20+\hour.

Thanks for the input. 👍🏼

Hello fellow Midlife Mavens. 🌼

I’m a 45-year-old human woman (not AI!) and my slate is pretty clean at this point… single, no kids, can’t really live near family because our values are very different, don’t have a ton of friends because most of my friends are married with kids, have just enough money to start over, some good skills, lots of interests, not a lot of clarity on the specifics of what’s next, perimenopause symptoms, and not a ton of extra energy. Going through a pretty major transformation. It’s for sure been challenging, but I’m embracing this opportunity. It’s a potent time, and I know many people who passed away way too young who would have loved to have LIVED with my problems.

I’m still exploring exactly where I want to live to maximize community building so I can start making my next chapter of friends. Also weighing in on whether I should rent a house of my own and start over with all of my things that have been in storage, or find a sweet, mutually beneficial housemate situation (do those exist?!). I know for sure that I want to prioritize health, new friendships, community, and continuing to nourish my passions (sailing, nature, painting, healthy food, flowers).

AND… I also need to make the $$$.

I want to be really smart about this next chapter of work because I want it to set me up well. I’ve owned my own businesses before and know where my weak spots are and how to get the support I need to not make the mistakes I’ve made in the past… and girrrl… I’ve made a lot of mistakes!

Here’s what I’m considering creating… either or both.

1. Academic success coach working with students receiving special education services in a hybrid model… some virtual, some in-person. I have my MA in special education and am highly relational with my students. I’m their biggest cheerleader, and this is something I can see myself setting up and potentially doing ongoing as I get older. I really enjoy this work. ❤️

2. Professional organizer/cleaner. I discovered that I really enjoy this work after helping family and friends who were struggling with it. I’ve found that I had a knack for it, especially working with clients who have lost loved ones, are dealing with illness or disability themselves, or have a loved one going through that process. I also really enjoy this work.

If you made it this far, I would be very grateful for any insights and reflections you may have to share as I maneuver this next phase of life. I’m happy to be here. Thank you so much in advance for your thoughts.