u/Background_Ad_1002

So I first started manifesting/listening to subliminals in 2021, mostly to look a certain way/to have certain features and probably like 2 years later, I started to get my results even after I kinda lost the intention for it. Also some aspects of my are similar ish to how I wanted them to be before. I know anything is possible, but I just kinda stopped REALLY trying to manifest it. I find it a bit interesting that once I stopped stressing about manifestation, it just grew on me. It might just have to do with letting go but I don’t even know if I had much intention either, anyone experience something similar?

Hi! I’m 17F, I started exploring spiritual ideologies since I was 12 years old. This past year has been very transformative for me but the issue is, no one around me gets it. I think for me the mix between my neurological health disorder, the self awareness I’ve been seeking from a young age and the belief that I’m limitless have all built up to become…me. But my family are evangelically religious in a born again way. I haven’t told them I’m not religious, (I mean technically I am but not in their way) and I’m not planning on ever telling them. I’ve hinted at it sure but they likely think it’s a phase. I’m learning to accept that they’ll never understand, it’s been really hard though being that I’m alone all the time (I do online school).

I was talking to my older sister, my best friend haha, also the person I feel most comfortable with and it wasn’t very affirmative. I was telling her about how I hate that our parents call my health issues a punishment, telling me I need to pray for help. She just said stuff along the lines that I need to go out more, at least that’s how it felt. She also said, “well it’s good to ask for help? Don’t you wanna get better?”I didn’t tell her outright that I’m not religious but she could likely infer. I can tell she loves our parents, I obviously love my parents so so so much, that’s why this whole transition hurts me so much. It hurts too much, really, having health issues that affect your brain and perspective on life, being alone, having no one but your family. I get where she’s coming from, I know how she sees me, and if she was trying to comfort me in a way like: it’s going to get better and it just seems really big right now-
then that’s better, but it didn’t feel like that. I feel her judging me, I hate it. I want to love myself but being around people who just don’t get it and look down and invalidate everything that they don’t believe is exhausting, I can’t love and accept myself in an environment like that. I regret telling her anything, I feel very anxious about it.

(Repost) 17f. I had a seizure a couple days ago, on my bed so I didn’t get any bruises or cuts, thankfully. I woke up the next morning and my parents came in, they comforted me a bit, which I’m grateful for and then my dad left my room leaving me with my mom. I’ve already made a rant about my mom, called “I am so Frustrated” from this month, basically just about how she makes my health about religion. But yeah basically she started telling me that “you didn’t exercise yesterday like you usually do, and if you eat sugar you also have to balance it out with protein” yeah yeah, I’ve heard this a million times, I’m always terrified of having seizures because she blames it on something I enjoy. Like Chinese food or that I work too hard or not enough. I eventually started crying like a baby lol cause this is exactly what I feared. I just hiccuped as I told how she always does this, that I feel like she’s blaming it on me. Keep it mind this is not the first time I’ve told her this, like I’ve had seizures where the first thing I say when I gain consciousness is that “I’m sorry” while sobbing.

She felt bad at first saying it’s not that. She started saying that we should just think of this like allergies, which I don’t even know…epilepsy is not an allergy. Saying that it’s like her allergies, like how I should pray and my “allergies” will go aways like hers. I kept crying, because I was so frustrated, I just had a another seizure after being a month and a half free, I felt so frustrated and tired because we’ve had this conversation a thousand times. My mom got so frustrated she started telling me that I should stop treating her like a child and that she’s the parent. Eventually my dad came in and they both got frustrated at me for crying so much, apparently it hurts them more. My mom told me that she thinks of traveling all the time so she can give me the space that I apparently want…I admit that I get annoyed with my mom a lot, I give attitude, I always feel bad after but it’s hard to stop, whenever I’m with her she just trauma dumps, talks about herself. She’s been through a lot, I get that, but she doesn’t want help. There is nothing I can do for her and I hate it…back to the rant, I just kept crying cause it hurt, she kept telling me that I should think about her, how she feels, but I always do. Eventually she left, my dad did a slightly better job comforting me but he kept telling me to stop crying, and that I should be happy that this seizure wasn’t that bad, which I beg to differ but whatever.

Background info: I do online school now due to my epilepsy. I try to make friends but all of them live too far. My parents are great but also…it’s a very contradictory relationship, no set rules, not set punishments, but also randomly getting upset about certain things but then later being fine with it. I’ve grown up always anxious, to this day, even when I watch something on my computer I try to change it whenever my parents come in, not cause it’s bad, cause I don’t know what they’ll think. I think all the time. I don’t know what to do. They’re great, but it’s times like these where I have such sad dark thoughts about myself, but I can’t even get help. I’m going to college next year, so that’s better but you know…

This time feels different than all the other times they’ve been upset at me, I don’t even know, maybe I love my parents so much it just hurts so much and now I’m starting to resent them. I just can’t with this anymore. Maybe it’s cause of the seizure making me feel different but idk, any advice?

I’m all alone again.

Background: I’m 17f, I do online school now due to my epilepsy. I try to make friends but all of them live too far. My parents are pretty religious, not the overwhelming type but also not the totally accepting type, a very confusing contradictory in between. My parents are also like 40 years older than me. My parents are great but also…it’s a very contradictory relationship, no set rules, not set punishments, but also randomly getting upset about certain things but then later being fine with it.

I had a seizure yesterday, on my bed but not too bad. I went to my parents right after my seizure, which I do not remember but I guess I did. I eventually told them I was fine so I went back to “bed”. I had a hard time falling asleep because I was so nauseous and my head hurt really bad. I knew I could go to my parents if I needed to, but this wasn’t my first time feeling like this so I just powered through and eventually fell asleep. I woke up this morning and my parents came in, they comforted me a bit, which I’m grateful for and then my dad left my room leaving me with my mom. I’ve already made a rant about my mom, called “I am so Frustrated” from this month, basically just about how she makes my health about religion. But yeah basically she started telling me that “you didn’t exercise yesterday like you usually do, and if you eat sugar you also have to balance it out with protein” yeah yeah, I’ve heard this a million times, I’m always terrified of having seizures because she blames it on something I enjoy. Like Chinese food or that I work too hard or not enough. I eventually started crying like a baby lol. I just hiccuped as I told how she always does this, that I feel like she’s blaming it on me. Keep it mind this is not the first time I’ve told her this,

like I’ve had seizures where the first thing I say when I gain consciousness is that “I’m sorry” while sobbing.

She felt bad at first saying it’s not that. She started saying that we should just think of this like allergies, which I don’t even know…epilepsy is not an allergy. Saying that it’s like her allergies, like how I should pray and think and my “allergies” will go aways like hers. I kept crying, because I was so frustrated, I just had a another seizure after being a month and a half free, I felt so frustrated and tired because we’ve had this conversation a thousand times. My mom got so frustrated she started telling me that I should stop treating her like a child and that she’s the parent. Eventually my dad came in and they both got frustrated at me for crying so much, apparently it hurts them more. My mom told me that she thinks of traveling all the time so she can give me space, that I apparently want…

I admit that I get annoyed with my mom a lot, I give attitude, I always feel bad after but it’s hard to stop, whenever I’m with her she just trauma dumps, talks about herself. She’s been through a lot, I get that, but she doesn’t want help. There is nothing I can do for her and I hate it.

…back to the rant, I just kept crying cause it hurt, she kept telling me that I should think about her, how she feels, but I always do. Eventually she left, my dad did a slightly better job comforting me but he kept telling me to stop crying, and that I should be happy that this seizures wasn’t that bad, which I beg to differ but whatever. The thing is, I’ve grown up always anxious, to this day, even when I watch something on my computer I try to change it whenever my parents come in, not cause it’s bad, cause I don’t know what they’ll think. I think all the time, I’m always alone. I don’t know what to do. They’re great, but it’s times like these where I have such sad dark thoughts about myself, but I can’t even get help. I’m going to college next year, so that’s better but you know…

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