Wtd
My husband is a Virgo, though I didn’t know how it would affect me while we were dating it is affecting me now. While we were dating I wasn’t very attracted to him, but he was the one crazy about me and putting in all the efforts. Tbh he was like the best boyfriend and even when we got married he was so loving and caring that my family thought I won a lottery. But he was always concerned that I don’t show him the same affection and if I love him. I thought even I should give him the same and once I was constant and reassuring. His whole personality flipped. Or maybe this is who he is. He is constantly comparing himself and critical about his education and job. Talks as if he didn’t achieve anything and compare himself to someone out there who is doing better. I tried reassuring but it would calm him momentarily. Though he never said anything his energy flipped I felt he is comparing me to the perfect versions out their either my looks he would compare me to someone else’s girlfriend or compare my social skills or education to some leader or ceo. Though it’s not direct it’s like saying a guy with a hot girlfriend as lucky, when I wear something which shows my legs, though my legs look good he would say something like these aren’t toned. His eyes are always wandering and I have looked into his dairy where he was questioning if he got the best partner.
We did discuss this and had multiple fights. But I feel this is his innate nature and he is trying to improve himself as well as trying to improve me to be some perfect version. But I guess he isn’t happy about himself or can ever be happy with his partner.
I have started cutting down my attention and humble him about his deficiencies once in a while so he would be grounded and focus on improving himself rather than finding ther perfect partner. Whenever I do that he keeps going back to the loop that he is not enough and I don’t love him much. TLI;DR t though makes me feel guilty begin a nice person. But I don’t know how to strike a balance. What to do?