u/Background_Gear9209

I need some ways that are safe for me (19F) and my boyfriend (23M) to break up. We have only been tkgeth around 3 months. He hasn't done anything wrong and has treated me really well, but i have come to the realization that I am asexual and am not interested in doing anything sexual, even with him.

I am asexual NOT aromantic. I think I knew i was asexual before I got in a relationship with him, but i guess I thought it might be different with someone i liked. This is my first relationship and I truly didnt know how I would feel once we got to that point. But I know I shouldn't have got into a relationship before discussing this with him.

We had the sex talk about what we wanted and all my answers towards what I wanted to do or like was all "I dont know" and I tried to play it off like I was nervous but still invested. But now we are actually doing more stuff and I am not feeling it at all.

I was thinking of going somewhere not his house to break up because I can get naturally anxious (as a woman) when thinking of things that can go wrong when I break up with someone. He has never shown violent tendencies towards me or anything like that, but even before I started dating him, I have always had anxiety about men and what they can do in moments of high emotion. (He does have guns in the house which is mostly my reasoning)

So I wanted to maybe do it somewhere in public so any reaction could be tempered, but I know a lot of people think its an asshole thing to break up with someone in public. HOWEVER, he does not have a car. I would have to drive him there and then find a way for him to get back home. No matter where or how ill do it, I will have a friend or family member close by (in a car or outside, etc).

But i like him and dont want to do something like break up over text. I could call him, but I'm afraid I might be weak and not be able to break up with him if we get to talking.

I have some of his friends discord, Instagram, etc that I will contact after I break up with, so that they can watch out for him. He doesn't have great mental health and I'm worried about his own safety.

What is the best way to go about this?

I have recently started my first ever relationship this year. We have been together about 2 months now. I am a very introverted person who likes my personal time and before I met my boyfriend I honestly thought I was asexual (not aromantic). I have just never really been inclined to feelings of wanting sex or even to masturbate.

My boyfriend is super considerate and kind, but we've recently started having talks about what we expect regarding sex in our relationship. He has been in relationships before and is experienced, while I have never been in a relationship or had sex. When I asked how often he wanted to have sex, he said at least 2 times...a day. A DAY!? And he said each "time" can be made up of a few rounds. 🤨

As someone who doesn't really feel any urge to have sex, this is a lot for me. I also dont want this relationship to turn into something where we cant just hang out together without having it turn into a makeout session and then into sex. We have definitely been making out a least once a day since this conversation and I just really don't know.

He also wants me to come over every day and is very clingy and loves physical touch, while as before, I like my personal time and prefer quality time to physical touch.

He knows himself well enough to tell me he can be clingy and he said himself he has never felt this strongly about someone so fast. He tells me he loves me and I feel obligated to say it back.

I have had a lot of bad examples of relationships in my family I have had to see and it has made me very wary about relationships. I dont like to say ily if I dont mean it and I don't get attached to people easily. I like him, but it is very hard for me to "love" someone and mean it, even for people I've known a long time.

I know the answer to my question is most likely going to be: communicate with him. But any more/better advice?