School is suggesting my son repeats 1st grade,, for “social concerns”
My son skipped kindergarten and was moved from pre-k directly into 1st grade because he was academically advanced. He is now finishing 1st grade, and his teacher/principal are recommending retention in 1st grade for “social maturity” concerns, not academic or behavioral concerns.
Academically, they agree he is above grade level. In fact, many of the solutions they proposed for retaining him involve giving him advanced work, allowing him to attend higher-grade science classes, differentiated assignments, iPad learning, etc.
He also has ADHD and recently started Vyvanse, which his teacher says has significantly improved his attention and classroom behavior. He is currently undergoing autism evaluations through the school psychologist, and we have an active ARD process pending. He was experiencing behavioral issues at school like using the middle finger, and saying things to other students that shouldn’t be said at school. We immediately scheduled him an appt with his physician and he got his ADHD diagnosis the day of the appointment. It was like a “no brainer.” Once the medication was started, absolutely all behavioral concerns ceased.
Some of the “social concerns” seem to involve:
- correcting peers on technically accurate information,
- arguing about factual/scientific concepts,
- literal thinking,
-inability to regulate emotions
- difficulty transitioning between tasks
- and seeming socially out of sync with same-age classmates.
However, he is very verbal, socially motivated, and actually interacts extremely well with adults. He independently initiates conversations, asks reciprocal questions, remembers details about people, and has no fear around social interaction in general.
Another important detail: his birthday is only 5 days after the school cutoff date. Had he been born on his due date instead of several days late, he would naturally be entering 2nd grade right now anyway.
I’m struggling with whether retaining him would actually help, or whether it would create more issues by putting him in an academically under-stimulating environment where he is even more out of sync with peers intellectually.
I’m especially concerned because the proposed first-grade plan sounds much more “accommodated” and socially isolating than simply moving him to 2nd grade with targeted social supports.
Has anyone experienced something similar with a gifted/ADHD/autistic or “twice exceptional” child? Did retention help? Or did accommodations/supports in the next grade work better long-term socially and emotionally?