r/Gifted

I started seeing a new therapist about 5 weeks ago. Around the third session, she disclosed that she felt positive I am gifted and encouraged me to get tested. In our following sessions, she doesn’t say “maybe” - she says it as if it’s fact which I don’t appreciate because she could be wrong but she insists that I am “squandering my gift” by trying to deny it.

I knew this therapist is AuDHD, which is one of the reasons I scheduled with her; I have suspected autism for a while, and I wanted to see whether or not she would clock that upon meeting me. Sure enough, 45 minutes into our first session, she asked if I’d ever considered I might be autistic. Finally! Every medical provider I’ve seen has chalked my mental health issues up to trauma and whatnot and did not seem to think I was autistic. I am very good at masking, but I get burnt out and have meltdowns in private.

Yesterday, I asked my therapist if she was gifted, and she confirmed. What are the pros and cons of getting tested? I honestly think my anxiety would be too high to test, as I am already very insecure about my intellect. I basically think I’m dumb, even when I’m told the opposite by almost everyone I’ve met in my adult life. I was intellectually, physically, and emotionally neglected growing up, on top of some physical and sexual abuse.
I’ve been following this sub because there’s a history of giftedness in my family, and I was intrigued.

Idk. Is there really any benefit to being tested? My therapist seems to think so. I’m wondering what others think. I don’t have people in my life that I feel I can confide in regarding this matter, as I was deemed the “dumb child” growing up, even though I went from teaching myself how to factor quadratics as an adult (yes that’s how bad the neglect was) to pursuing electrical engineering in a matter of months.

For a while now I've been told that my intelligence is high, but if I took a test it would be low due to executive dysfunction (ADHD), but if thats the case then how else should I measure my intellect. By looking at how well people around me are doing while im always one step behind. I try to perfect anything I truly have passion for, but when I one of the things (art) its horrible to me, and it took me double to triple of the time it took for the person right next to me to do it better. In school I follow things easy, but get behind just as easy. I miss one day which makes me get behind. Then more and more utill I feel like just staying in bed all day is so much easier than going to school and dealing with that. Its just when I get measure by a test im not. when im measured by my ability to do things im not. When im measured by the things I've created im not. I don't know. It feels like either school was made specifically for me to fail or im just a dumbass.

(17 year old)

I don’t want to overcomplicate this; I just want to know if other gifted people experience this and how they handle it. For example, I’m currently learning how to make better YouTube videos, monetize quickly, and build a solid audience. I struggled to grasp the concept of a "niche." This is largely because I like to cover a lot of ground—since I’m interested in so many things—and narrowing my focus is incredibly difficult for me. This nature of mine has been a real stumbling block when it comes to understanding niches; I’ve been too rigid in my thinking (it’s probably worth mentioning that I’m autistic and have ADHD). I used to run a trivia channel with my family, but it failed because we diversified too much; instead of focusing on, say, anime trivia, we did trivia about absolutely anything and everything. I thought—or rather, I wanted to believe—that "trivia" was the niche, but that’s not the case; anime is the niche, and trivia is just the format used to present that topic. I wanted to cover it all—anything that caught my eye and seemed interesting, I wanted to do it. That’s what caused us to fail... But now I feel useless and stupid; I feel like maybe I’m not actually gifted, since I didn't realize that sooner. Or rather, I was torn between two conflicting thoughts at the same time: "I know what I'm doing is wrong," and "I want to do it anyway and hope to succeed, surprising everyone."

As in did u ever wanna experience having to build extreme resilience, know what u built inside out, adapt to failure better, etc?

Ik being gifted still means things are hard and its not a cakewalk but don't u guys ever wanna experience not being ahead of friends or peers at things, or having massive understanding and theories to things easily?

Ironically posting in this subreddit i was never gifted lol, i was just obsessive with learning what i was into/getting good at it. (Examples are like narrative deconstruction from stories, making oc's, developing symbolic understanding, etc).

I have often experienced that people (parents, teachers, caregivers) generally miss recognising signals that may indicate higher intelligence in children. Instead, they usually complain that the child is dumb, stupid, disruptive, naughty and doesn't listen. So, how does one recognise higher intelligence in children?

People think they’re smart just because they happen to know a few things about a subject. The information might be vague or surface-level, but because they know something, they assume they understand the topic.

The Dunning–Kruger effect makes a lot more sense when you consider that many people don’t actually read books, studies, or detailed sources to build their understanding. They pick up fragments of information and mistake familiarity with a topic for actual expertise.

Gifted individuals can arrive at strongly held conclusions that differ substantially from prevailing social consensus. Agreement with the majority is obviously not a reliable measure of truth, but neither is internally consistent reasoning necessarily evidence that one's conclusions are well calibrated.

This raises a more general psychological question: How can an individual objectively assess the reliability of their own reasoning when external social validation is limited or potentially misleading?

Some possible strategies I can imagine include:

- Actively searching for evidence that would falsify rather than confirm a hypothesis.

- Generating competing hypotheses and comparing their predictive power.

- Assigning explicit probabilities to predictions and later measuring calibration.

- Reasoning from the opposite hypothesis, for example: What observations would I expect if the inverse interpretation were true?

- Distinguishing evidence that genuinely discriminates between hypotheses from evidence compatible with both.

- Maintaining prediction records to compare confidence with actual outcomes.

The last approach seems particularly interesting because it could produce quantitative measures such as calibration error, Brier score, log loss, discrimination, or confidence-versus-accuracy curves rather than relying on introspective impressions.

However, these methods mostly come from Bayesian reasoning, forecasting, and decision theory rather than psychometrics.

Are there established psychological or psychometric methods specifically designed to measure metacognitive calibration, susceptibility to self-generated belief systems, or systematic reasoning bias at the individual level?

More speculatively, could a useful self-assessment framework combine:

1. probabilistic forecasting

2. adversarial hypothesis generation

3. falsification attempts

4. prospective prediction logging

5. retrospective calibration analysis

6. measures of metacognitive confidence

I'm particularly interested in research on metacognitive efficiency, calibration, overconfidence, belief updating, cognitive reflection, active open-minded thinking, and debiasing.

I would say Im a former gifted kid that screwed up in life but I dont want to be vulgar. They put me in the gifted and talented classes in school, then honors and AP classes. my parents had way too high hopes for me, since they had me young and didn’t do much with their lives. They split up fast and I was mostly raised by a single mom.

My scores declined when I was about 16. I couldn’t focus after finding out that my good friend passed away suddenly from an overdose. my parents knew she was a drug addict and wanted me to stay away from her but I would hang out with her in secret. so I also had to grieve in secret.

the fact that my parents and others in my family didn’t excel at school made them think I was going to go to Harvard or something. So when my grades dropped they got angry and abusive with me. By the time I graduated high school I didn’t want to go to college. I was a total mess.

Being a gifted kid sounds nice but if youre ahead of everyone else in your family the pressure builds up fast. I beat myself up for not being mentally okay enough to go through college. Did lots of drugs and got stuck in abusive relationships. Somehow im still here nearly ten years later wondering why people have been so cruel.

Just wondering if anyone else had a similar experience growing up gifted. Im sober and have healthy outlets now and make art , do yoga , read , write , I feel like Im almost to the point where I can go back to school. I just have so many interests that I dont even know what I’d major for.

My family still puts this pressure on me and makes me feel like a druggie disappointment. I wish I was never put on this pedestal in the first place. It can be so alienating to grow up this way. Did I screw up or did I just get screwed

As above....

Talk about how it impacts your giftedness, and how successful you are

I believe that my 27-month-old niece has a natural talent for decoding because she seems to pick it up so easily. It might be hyperlexia.

She can read regular CVC words with a short “a” vowel using phonics, and she learned the alphabet and numbers from 0–9 very early, perhaps around 14 months of age.

Her mother has been going to work and leaving her in my care since she was one month old. I used to find her unusual because she seemed “too aware” or “too observant” for a baby. It actually freaked me out at times.

She continued to enjoy observing everything around her and seemed genuinely proud when she decodes something correctly.

However, it saddens me when people mistake me for “pressuring her” or forcing her to learn academic skills simply because her progress is advanced. They tell me that I should not have taught her academics in the first place. But she genuinely enjoys learning, and I have never wanted to force her to do something she does not enjoy.

So people should not judge caregiver of children who show advanced skills.

Which fictional characters do you think are gifted and don't say the obvious ones like sherlock or l because yeah, that is kind of their thing.

I mean, for example, characters like Calvin from Calvin and hobbes or daria or even Susan sto helit

*Quick note: i am not yet diagnosed with adhd however i have long suspected that i fall into the category of innatentive adhd, thus everything im going to discus is purely my own expeirences and shouldnt be taken as fact. Although im am actively trying to consult proffesionals and get a diagnosis.

I cant remeber much of my childhood thus the expierences ill be sharing are mainly things ive noticed throughout my teens. One of the biggest dilemas ive had with with this combination, is recongising how capable you are yet it seems impossible to act upon it. my whole life ive been decribed as someone with "limitless potential" if only he "tried a little harder" For me this this always felt incredebly harmful, not only can i physically not choose what gets my full attention and when, it has also artificially raised my expectations of myself to the point that ive developed severe perfectionism as a result, and ontop of Adhd this makes Starting tasks significantly harder as i wont even atempt new things unless i know im going to suceed in them. No one really seems to discuss how harmfull this can actualy get, for me, the constant comparison and the feeling of never being enough translated itself in the form of chronic fatigue. For years i was told it was just "hormones and puberty" "depression" or "malnourishment" however hiding under the surface of all of that was the constant mental comparisions and the feeling of not living up to my potential which was draining all my energy. Even as im writing this ive had to span it out over a period of 4 hours because i physically cant stay focused on a task longer than 20 mins.

Another big issue i hold about my self which i think stems from this combination is my ego, generally i try to treat everyone with the same kindness and respect, however there'll be times ill dismiss someone for no other apharent reason other than i asume i already know what they are going to tell me. I think this ties back to my first point of being constantly told that im "better" than everyone else which in turn has inflated my ego beyond reasonable standards. Ego has ruined my social life aswell, before i even properly meet new people i already make a preconcieved mental profile of them and then asume thats all to their character, this can make me seem "uninterested" when meeting new people which in turn drives them away (also the fact i cant make small talk probably has something to do with it) despite this some of my most wanted desires are that of love and genuine friendships.

i could go on an on, but im genuinely curious about getting second opinions on my situation, if you have tips/advice any questions or just anything that sounds relatable and would like to elaborate on your situation please comment

Hi, I’m curious about the experiences of highly gifted people with a non-gifted sibling or kid. Did this particular difference affect your relationship at all?

Some highly-active participants in this community, who offer legitimately useful information and perspective, seem to do so in a blunt or even "mean" (dismissive, condescending, etc) way. Not everyone, but enough top contributors consistently communicate this way that it occurs frequently here.

It's a shame, since so many people who feel the need to seek discussion/advice/support here, may be struggling with difficult circumstances/history or mental illness/disability on top of giftedness. They may not know their own IQ or mental profile, may be young, may be somehow disadvantaged, etc.

But, by the same token, the "mean" comments could be coming from a disorder, illness, etc. (ex: according to a dear friend of mine who has autism, it is common in autism to come off a bit blunt/rude/mean), or perhaps from frustration about the journey they've been on. Unfortunately, it can also come from privilege.

Personally, I try to listen/ask and offer kindness, patience, love, and understanding whenever I can in this sub. I may not succeed every time, but to me it's a worthwhile investment in the people I cross paths with here. Elsewhere on this site? Maybe not. But here, at least.

Do you use your advanced intelligence to be kind in this sub? Why or why not? Is it worth it, in your opinion?

Hey guys,

I know it’s probably been discussed before but I have a child that I can’t stop worrying about when we were told that he might be ASD when he was 2 or 3. We had him assessed and he was cleared at 4.5. He has always seem to be advanced in some areas while a little bit behind (developmentally still acceptable I guess). He walked around 16 months but was very stable by then.

He’s now 5, he’s verbal (though he sometimes uses language differently than his brother). He makes connections to other stuffs like for example when we say, hey that cat is 6 years old, he’ll answer “yeah, (his cousin) is also 6 years old.” We met with the SLP that told us his pragmatics were developing but he’s not speech delayed. Vocab is average while grammar is above average.

At age 3.5, he was able to tell about 180 countries by its shape, he was on screen time alot, loved phonics and learning stuffs. He then picked up reading and now becomes like the teacher’s reader in school. At 5 now, he asks me what if sun becomes a blackhole, what if jupiter becomes a black hole, watches about anatomy (heart, fingernails, hair) scared of black hole thinking that black hole could eat earth and he could die. Tsunami, volcano, mountains. He prefers all these compared to normal toys. During the interview with the paed, there was a box of fruits and vegetables with fork and knife, he went on to prepare it for me and my wife like here’s your food.

During his assessment, we did mentioned giftedness to his paed but she mentioned that it would mean that he could do multiplication, addition, subtraction and all which he didn’t show any during the interview but I think he’s able to do that. I tested him by asking him subtraction and he was able to mentally give me the answer. He also showed some basic multiplication understanding when we were playing. Like my wife told him that it cost $2 for 1 biscuit and when I said I wanted 2, he told me that I have to give him $4.

Honestly, it worries me because I really can’t tell. He’s quirky is some ways. Many of times nowadays he will hide somewhere and ask me if I could see him while he slowly reveals part of his body like testing field of vision or something like that.

Recently, he had some behavioural issues in school. Not really a big deal but like he pushed his friend and accidentally knocking his other friend when he was excited. He is also “sensory” in some ways, not to the point where he’s not functional. He’s social but can also be awkward sometimes. Teachers don’t really have a problem with his socialization though. I have to like point things out to him for him to learn socially. Like he used to just “touch” someone anywhere to call them. I told him you have to call them by their shoulders or by their name. He’s the type to ask me like if I told him to stop doing something and he’ll be like “what will happen if I do it?”

I don’t know to be honest, I guess it’s just me at this point and nothing about him but I just can’t stand the thought if I missed something and he doesn’t get the appropriate support growing up.

I’m the dad btw, mom was concerned at some point but she’s not worried at all now.

I’ve read about Hyperlexic and Gifted but I can’t really tell them apart. He’s clearly different in some ways, adult-like but also child-like.

Hi everyone, this is my first Reddit post. I wanted to use this space to vent a little and hopefully get some advice on what I've been going through lately.

Lately, I haven't been able to stop thinking about my future and the overwhelming uncertainty that comes with it. For the past few years, getting into MIT has been my biggest dream, but the more I think about it, the further away it seems.

I don't consider myself special, let alone gifted (even though my close friends tell me otherwise). I'm constantly trying to improve, but I always fall back into the same cycle of procrastination fueled by perfectionism and fear of failure. This leaves me exhausted and mentally drained. I'm trying to let go of this perfectionism, but it's really hard.

On top of all this, there's the constant fear of not getting into MIT. For now, my only achievements are making the national competitive programming team, placing fourth in the National AI Olympiad, and almost representing my country at the International AI Olympiad in Kazakhstan (which didn't happen due to circumstances beyond my control). Honestly, I feel I still have a long way to go to reach the level needed to get into a place like MIT...

I guess I'm writing this to vent and ask for advice on how to deal with perfectionism and fear. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

P.S.: I'm 16 years old.

I've seen quite some posts detailing how yall are misunderstood. As a guy that likely has average intellect, I want to understand what you mean when you say : I dont see, hear, process, or think like the bottom 98%.

This may be like being blind and trying to understand what a dragon looks like or what are colors.

Regardless, Im just really interested about some of the nitty gritty of how you guys interact and all the things that go through your head and how you think.

Once again my sibling complained of not being able to state her point of view with me, when we disagree on sthg. She told me 'When we disagree, it is very difficult to maintain my point of view because you have so many facts and stats and theoretical references. I just shut up although I know I am right'. Once again I feel bad. Because in fact I am the one who shuts up. I am the one constantly monitoring how others react, masking and hiding most of my thoughts for fear of shocking or appearing too intellectual or too know-it-all. Even when I have proof to back my thoughts. It means that even in my family I do not have the right to exist fully, no one is curious about what I think and feel because somehow it threatens them. Fortunately I have my friends with whom I can really talk and open up but it is disheartening to know that I need to hide my real self from most people. Do any of you feel the same ? Did you manage to overcome it ? How ?

And Crohn’s disease to top it off😂😭 does anyone relate to this….
Rough but rewarding is what I would say lol.
Posting this for anecdotes and to see if anyone has any thoughts on the matter/ relates to this 💜