AITAH for not realising that Arsenal are lifting a trophy this weekend and wanting to go camping instead of watching it
My boyfriend (M27) and I (F27) have been together for nearly three years now and throughout our relationship I’ve done my best to engage with his interest in football. I never really liked football growing up and didn’t have a favourite team, since being with my boyfriend I have tried to make an effort to watch Arsenal play, learn the names of the players, and wear the Arsenal shirt he bought me. Supporting Arsenal has grown on me and I do enjoy cheering them on with him but sometimes I just have other stuff on my mind or have work that I need to do that means I’m not fully engaged with watching them play.
When Arsenal won the premier league I was happy but my boyfriend was annoyed that I didn’t get as excited as he did. He also suggested we go up to London for the parade and I agreed (although I have concerns because we are in the process of buying a house and money is tight, I’m not very good in crowds, and I’m worried about getting back late and being prepared for work the next day.
Today my parents suggested that the four of us go away in their motorhome for 1 night during the bank holiday weekend. My parents suggested leaving on Sunday and coming back on Monday and I felt this was ideal because it gives us time to arrange for someone to watch our poorly cat and give him medicine. My boyfriend hesitated and I laughed and said ‘Don’t tell me it’s football’ he confirmed that there is a match on Sunday and I said ‘forget about that, we can just watch it when we come back’. I’ll admit my tone here was probably too harsh but he’s focused on football so much this week and I’ve felt a lot of pressure to be into it too. It’s stupid of me but I didn’t know it was Arsenal playing, didn’t know that they hadn’t received a trophy yet, and didn’t know that football matches aren’t recorded.
After my parents hung up the phone my boyfriend said he doesn’t want to go because of how I ‘crashed out’ about him wanting to watch the football and that he’s upset I’m not more supportive of something so important to him as it’s the first time he will get to see Arsenal lift a trophy. I explained that I didn’t know about that and assumed it was a regular match that we could watch after. He told me that ‘obviously it’s Arsenal and obviously they haven’t had the trophy yet and football matches aren’t recorded so he would only see the highlights’ and that if I didn’t know I should’ve asked. This made me feel really stupid and hurt.
It’s also frustrating that he thinks I don’t care about how important Arsenal/football is to him when before meeting him I didn’t like football at all, had never watched a match, and didn’t like being around football fans (large groups of shouty men can be a bit scary).
He also said that I shouldn’t come to the parade next weekend and that he will just go with someone else.
I feel guilty for joking about him wanting to watch football and not knowing/asking about the match and trophy lifting but I also feel like he under appreciates how hard I’m trying.
(I do like Arsenal and I do enjoy watching them play but sometimes I wish it didn’t take priority over everything else)
So Reddit AITAH for how I reacted? Should i talk him into still going away but on the Saturday night instead so he gets back in time to watch Arsenal?
ETA: some people are assuming that I’m actually not interested in football or Arsenal at all and this genuinely is not the case. I’ve watched matches on my own, got my favourite players, and have spent three years cheering them on. I’m just not knowledgeable about how it all works, my boyfriend has been explaining the different leagues and how the points work this year.