Changing antipsychotics and possibly developing ARFID?
Hello everyone, I’m new to this sub so I’m going to try to keep this as sensical as I can.
I did not have a lot of problems eating when I was a kid other than me being a picky eater (or so I’ve been told. I have CPTSD and it’s hard to remember a good chunk of my life. I feel like I didn’t start having real memories until I moved out of my parents house). I was never underweight, I had a slightly high BMI but I wasn’t obviously overweight. My parents never cooked for me or my sister when we were children, they were at work most of the time. We’d eat a lot of frozen foods like kid cuisine and stuff. My father cooked, but only for himself, and would not make food for anyone else. If my mom did cook, it was always spaghetti or Mac and cheese.
Cue to age 15, where I was put on an antipsychotic because of bipolar psychosis. This medication (abilify) made me gain 60 pounds in 4 months. I have since changed from abilify, to Latuda, to Seroquel. All of these medications can mess with metabolism and cause weight gain, as well as increased appetite. No one warned me about this, so I wasn’t really watching what I was eating. I then ended up having issues with my blood sugar dropping an insane amount at night. I would wake up terrified and shaking until I ate something. I kept my weight the same on the antipsychotics. Still very overweight.
I have had periods of my adulthood where I absolutely despise eating. It takes so much mental energy to eat, and it feels like a chore. I had these phases while on these antipsychotics as well.
I have switched antipsychotics, now I’m on a newer generation (Caplyta). It has helped so much with my depression and anger issues, but now one of those “phases” has come back in full force and even more severe. It feels like such a chore to eat, even if it’s something that is in the fridge that I don’t have to cook (yogurt or something). I can’t stand a lot of textures, and recently the thought of anything sitting in my mouth makes me want to puke, it even starts pooling saliva. Even thinking of eating my favorite foods makes me feel like I will be sick. I am surviving off bone broth and protein shakes because I KNOW I have to eat, but eating terrifies me. I’ve had GI problems my entire life (mainly constipation), and now they’re getting worse. I keep waking up extremely bloated and with gas pain. I have to take gas-x before dinner and upon waking. I have tried EVERYTHING to help. I’ve even tried linezz, which causes diarrhea. This had stared before I stopped taking Seroquel, but now that I’m not taking the medication anymore, my eating habits have gotten worse (eating less, reasons for eating less)
I do not want to eat because I KNOW I will end up with constipation or diarrhea. I know I will have gas pain. I have tried so many things to stop the gas. I have changed what I’ve eaten, I have changed the amount of food I’ve eaten, I’ve changed the time that I’ve eaten. Nothing has worked.
I hate the feeling of foods in my mouth or having to chew foods. I feel so nauseous all the time from not eating, but eating anything makes it worse. I’d rather deal with the nausea from not eating than the sickness from eating. I try to feel proud of myself for eating. I then just worry because I know it will make me feel awful physically. It’s important to note that I was not eating just junk before this came on, but now I have switched to almost no food at all. I did see a nutritionist, and she had said I may have arfid, but she does not specialize in it. She said she doesn’t know a whole lot about it and that she would try to find some therapists for me.
I think I may see a GI doctor, but at this point I don’t know what to do. It is making it hard for me to sleep, hard for me to focus, hard for me to do a lot of things. Bouts of dizziness and not realizing I haven’t eaten. I also get full very easily now, and I don’t feel hungry even when my stomach is loudly growling.
I just don’t really know what’s going on with me, and I’m starting to get really scared. Of course I wasn’t happy with my weight before, but I wasn’t actually trying to lose it. And now I’m losing so much so fast that I’m starting to worry I’m going to cause permanent damage to my body. I want to eat, I just can’t.
Has anyone had a similar experience like this? Or know of someone who has???
Thank you all so much for reading. It’s nice to know I may get some support. Sorry if this doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. Like I said before, I’m running off a little amount of sleep and not being able to focus (less than normal, even with ADHD)