r/ARFID

i'm 20 now and have been suffering with all three arfid subtypes since i could eat solid foods pretty much. my family isn't super accepting of it and always told me i would just "grow out of my picky eating phase like everyone else." that never happened!! i've learned how to redirect most of my family when they're pressuring me to try new things and delegitimizing my disorder, but my dad and step-mom still believe it to be a crock of shit. continuously serving me things i have very vocally never eaten. (cold deli meats, sandwiches, mayo, pasta salad, cottage cheese, everything i have had panic attacks about since i was young)

i guess im trying to figure out some easy things i can say to strangers or my dad/step-mom when they're pressuring me to try things that i deem unsafe, even after politely declining the first time and saying "it looks amazing, im just super picky!" because for some reason that's never enough. "come on its so good you'll love it just try it" like no i really don't feel like explaining the complexities of auto restrictive food intake disorder rn thanks. so in short, what are some redirections that work for you with acquaintances or people unaware of the food issues?

edit: if anyone has any specific responses to the go to line in my family "you have to try something 17 times before you like it" that would be fabulous (have been hearing this bullshit saying for 14 years and at every family meal too, so if anyone has a custom rebuttal for that one lmk)

I would go and try to get assessed for it, and I usually am not a person who likes to self-diagnose, however I cannot get diagnosed because it quite literally does not exist as a diagnosis in my country as the DSM-5 isn’t used here. I like using it to describe my lack of interest in and struggles with food and eating because it makes me get a lot more understood. I shared some medical articles and information about it with my parents and said I suspect I might have something like it, which they agreed with. Ever since they’ve been a lore more understanding, and I no longer get shamed for my eating habits or forced to sit at the table until I eat as much as they decide I have to, and I also get other options that I feel comfortable eating during dinner now. So I feel using this term to describe myself is helpful to me, but at the same time I feel guilty about saying I have something without an actual diagnosis as proof I actually do.

I struggle with emetophobia and severe contamination ocd. I refuse to eat fast food because im scared that I'll get sick either from the food or people handling it. There are many foods I refuse to eat from these places. I only slightly trust fancy restaurants and even then there are foods I'll never try because of my fear (oysters etc). Im scared of chicken but eat it because I dont want to seem weird. I force myself to eat when my family wants to go out to dinner. I check reviews top to bottom and sweat in nervousness if someone wants to go get food. Is this typical or bordering on arfid territory? I also only trust food made by specific people. I only eat at other people's houses out of the fear of seeming rude, but the whole thing terrifies me the entire time. I end up hungry all day and am only able to eat without fear when I eat processed snacks that dont require cooking. When I cook meats and eggs I overcook them out of the fear of getting sick from it.

I work in the mental health space, so I do have some familiarity with ARFID, as there is an arm of our mental health solution we sell at work that deals in autism, ADHD and ARFID.

My MIL and nephew do very likely have ARFID. My MIL only eats a small amount of preferred foods and will get very anxious about anything mixed (like salads, casseroles, etc.). She struggles with textures and cannot eat anything with beans, vegetables except corn, anything with strong flavors or spices, and all her meat needs to be well-well done (like black on the outside). She is undiagnosed and very sensitive/embarrassed. She gets angry and upset if people notice that she is a picky/selective eater with sensory issues, and I've even seen her deny that she didn't eat something (pretend she did eat or try it when she didn't), even so far as putting something in her mouth, then running to the bathroom before swallowing it. She gets angry if we ask her for preferred foods, as she doesn't like to admit she has an issue.

My nephew also has what is likely ARFID. His is so severe that he throws up if presented with non-preferred foods. Even smelling some foods causes him to vomit. He is about 5, and generally only eats chips, processed mac and cheese, and uncrustables. His parents pretty much only serve him preferred foods and try to keep him away from anything that might cause vomiting. He is also fully undiagnosed, and I feel his parents would be offended if I brought anything up.

How do I host so as not to upset people or make them angry? I know I need to have lots of their preferred foods on hand. For MIL, I keep all vegetables separate (so she doesn't have to eat them in anything) and I always try to have plain corn for her (in the can, no seasoning). I absolutely hate it, but I burn all meat when I serve her and we all eat burnt meat, as making her a specific one would call out her sensory issue, and make her angry.

I also always have uncrustables for my nephew and I keep food prep and cooking away from the table as much as I can. I also never pressure him to look at or try any new foods. I offer to help clean up any vomit as well.

Is this doing enough? What else helps you in group gatherings? Is there a gentle way I can get them to talk about it and acknowledge it so that it's easier to accommodate?

Hello everyone, first of all, sorry if there's anything wrong with my post!!!! I read through the rules and skimmed some posts for a minute but I'm very new here!

So, my brother is 13 (i'm 18 btw) and he has always had "weird eating habits" that me and our mom thought he would grow out of eventually, but he never has. In recent years I learned what ARFID is, and I immediately knew my brother fit the description. The reason why I'm here is because he's officially a TEEN now (oh my goodness they grow up so fast) and since his diet has barely changed at all, I've been a bit worried about him and the potential effects his diet could have on him. I'm not asking for medical advice of course, I would just really like to hear the experiences of other people who have grown up with ARFID (you guys!)

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I'll go ahead and describe his diet in this section: He is disgusted by any "real" food that is offered to him, smelling my food or having my food be put near him, and he also avoids water as much as he can (he drinks sweet tea and white milk every day, some days he'll be more open to water than others. in the past, my mom would give him a spray bottle because he enjoyed drinking water that way, but he doesn't do that anymore.)

HIS SAFE FOODS:
- CHIPS (specifically blue doritos every day, sometimes red i think, more recently blue takis, and occasionally pringles and maaaaybe fritos. NO different/weird flavors, which i mean, i agree.),
- CRACKERS (original cheez-its, goldfish/extra cheddar goldfish, graham crackers/teddy grahams, at one point wheat thins but i dont think we get them anymore?, and peanut butter crackers and ritz crackers
- DRY CEREAL (rarely ever in milk, he hates when it gets soggy and then he will only eat like half. he mainly eats lucky charms, apple jacks, and cinnamon squares dry, and i've seen him eat honey bunches of oats in milk. btw honey bunches of oats is awesome.)
- SLICES OF CHEDDAR CHEESE, NO OTHER CHEESE (he likes to have a slice of cheddar cheese on the side of his plate, usually breaking off a piece and then eating it on top of a cheez-it)
- SOME CANDIES AND MINI MARSHMALLOWS (his version of dessert is a tiny container of those teeny tiny marshmallows that you sprinkle on stuff, or skittles, or 3-5 mini starbursts, which i dont like at all. he also loves those valentines day heart shaped lollipops, which we have literally bought like 5 giant packs of lmao, and also smarties and various other tiny fruity candies)
- RED VELVET CUPCAKES (only red velvet, we have fought several times over whether or not the red velvet is the same as chocolate, because he hates chocolate lol. red velvet cupcake with vanilla frosting and sometimes pastel sprinkles if we're feeling festive. it's the only like.. pastry(?) thing he likes. my mom used to make him plain cookies [no chocolate chips] but it's been a while.)
- AIR FRIED FRIES OR FAST FOOD FRIES (our mom works at wendy's so he loves wendy's fries, he used to eat mcdonalds fries a lot, and he also likes the frozen bag fries that our mom gets. although i think he likes the crinkly ones more than the curly ones. he doesnt like any sauces with them, i dont think he's tried any before.)
- WENDY'S FROSTY (he enjoys a large wendy's frosty, which he will let melt and then drink)
- PEANUT BUTTER (he will have a scoop of peanut butter. i usually see him dipping apple jacks into it.)

NOPE FOODS:
- FRUIT (he's never had any fruit before, except maybe a couple tiny pieces of things that our mom had him try, but he didn't like it at all lol. all i remember was a tiny piece of watermelon at one point.)
- VEGETABLES (absolutely not. our mom cut up a baby carrot into tiny pieces one time but he just got frustrated and didn't try it. whenever i'm around him with a plate of vegetables he goes EEEEUGH IT SMELLS SO BAD GO AWAAAAAY. i eat a lot of broccoli and brussels sprouts so maybe he has a point lol.)
- MEAT (never had any meat before. our mom is vegetarian anyway and so he says he wants to be vegetarian too, our mom only gets meat for me lol.)
- SANDWICHES (i dont think hes ever tried sliced bread, so definitely no sandwiches)
- ANY POPULAR/RESTAURANT FOOD I GUESS (i'm making this a category bc i dont want the list to be too long lol, but i mean things like burgers, pizza, donuts, burritos/tacos, pasta, rice, etc.)
- POPULAR DESSERT THINGS (i think he's had a tiny bit of ice cream before but that's rare, he doesn't like cakes or pies or muffins or anything that has frosting or filling UNLESS IT'S A RED VELVET CUPCAKE OFC.)
- CHOCOLATE!!!!!!! (i couldve sworn at one point he liked chocolate, but then one day it started to disgust him and he would start gagging and spitting it out, so now he doesnt touch anything with chocolate. which tbh he didn't have very often before i dont think)
- POTATOES, UNLESS THEY'RE IN FRY FORM (i don't think hes ever tried mashed potatoes)
- MACARONI AND CHEESE (he is not touching that. the version our mom makes is like a large gelatinous cube anyway.)
- NUTS (what in the world. i don't like any nuts either, our mom does though.)
- BEANS (same as nuts.... beans and nuts are our moms thing lol. i like lima and navy beans, but i think all beans would disgust my brother, especially because of the smell.)
- GOOEY STUFF LIKE OATMEAL OR APPLESAUCE (he always eats with his fingers unless it's one of those rare milk-in-cereal days. i cant imagine him eating anything goopy.)
- ANYTHING ELSE (whatever else you can think of, there's a 99% it's on the nope list

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So, with that covered, I'm wondering if there is any problem with him only eating his safe foods? We were worried for a while about his digestion (sorry, tmi) but recently i think he's been pretty regular, so I'm not really sure if his diet is causing him harm? I'm happy to see him drinking water more often though lol, but his diet has been something me and our mom have been worried about for a long time, because nether of us really know why he likes the foods he does or how it affects him. For what it's worth though, he has recently gotten taller than me lol (im 5'0 so he's around 5'1-5'2, its so crazy) and he is an average weight.

Something I've noticed is that he gets really annoyed and frustrated whenever we try to get him to try something new. There have been some "new foods" that have entered the rotation, but it's usually like a same-food-different-label situation. I'm not sure if we should be encouraging him to try different foods, or if that'll just make him upset and maybe we should let him naturally try new things as the years go by? I really want what's best for him and I don't want him to be anxious about it or feel bad (about his eating habits, his weight, his body, anything), and I don't want him to lack nutrients or anything as he's growin' up (SO. FAST.) My brother has a very stubborn personality (I feel like our whole family does) and so it feels like the idea of any routines changing is some crazy fantasy. "Can I have doritos and cheez-its?" "Sure." every day lol.

Our mom is taking the approach of "maybe he'll try something at some point, maybe he wont. we'll just see what happens." and I'm not sure if that's the strategy or not 😭

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SORRY MY POST IS SO LONG AND WEIRDLY WRITTEN!!!! My main questions are what I wrote in the title lol. I'd also really like to here all of your experiences with being a kid who hates most foods and what helped you the most at the time. :D

I have had issues with food my whole life akin to ARFID (more taste-aversion but also texture at times) but when I got COVID and lost my sense of taste, I suddenly went from beige-only unhealthy foods to eating bowls of raw spinach since I couldn't taste it at all. Once I got my taste back, my horrible eating habits returned and the idea of eating spinach just makes me sick. I just wonder if anyone else has experienced losing their taste and if it helped you eat foods that normally aren't acceptable to you?

Eating meat is the hardest thing for me. I can only eat red meat, but only if it's not directly from the source. For example, I can eat burgers but I have never tried and I am afraid of trying steaks. A lot of times I have to add a lot of fries inside the burger to mask the taste if it's not one of the good ones. Same with other things like kebabs. I also used to eat anchovies sauce/juice with bread, but when I used to eat it I had no idea it was fish. The moment I found out I stopped. I don't eat meat every day, many times I don't eat it for weeks. I extremely hate being called a "vegetarian" and have been mocked and laughed at before in social situations. I think I accidentally found out about this disorder either 10 or 12 years ago.

Like most of us, I’ve had arfid since I can remember and now that I’ve gotten older (29f) I want to start traveling with my boyfriend. We are just in daydreaming mode right now not really planning anything specific but the topic came up of us traveling internationally (we live in the US) and where we could go and I still be able to reliably get safe foods. He is extremely supportive of my arfid and is always aware of what foods I will have access to anywhere we go. So I was just wondering if anyone has traveled/live in other countries and how accessible different foods are there? For instance one of the places I would love to go is Tokyo but given the food culture I don’t know if I would have safe foods there.

I do have a wide variety of foods I will eat, but I usually don’t like any sauces or spices/seasonings on anything. I tend to stick to plain chicken, pasta, bread, burgers, steak. I definitely won’t eat rice, seafood, anything with tomatoes, or anything spicy.

Hey so does anyone else never cook? I'm trying to see if this is ARFID related so that I know how I can go about dealing with it.

I'm 22 and I've NEVER used a stove or oven. I'm able to microwave basic things, but not to the point of "cooking" it, only heating things up. I can't really describe why, it just feels like a mental block, or just something I really shouldn't be doing.

Even the years I've spent living by myself have never pushed me to use a stove or oven, which I thought would be like exposure therapy. Terrible times, that was like survival horror...

To be clear, I theoretically know how to cook, I just have never done it. I've watched enough cooking shows to know how it's done, it's just the act of doing it that I struggle with.

I don't know if this is something I should take up with a food counselor, or if it's completely unrelated to ARFID and more of a "cooking OCD" if that exists... What do you guys think? Does anyone else here have an extreme aversion to cooking? If so, is there any way you've accommodated it or gotten better with it? Sorry for the bad wording. Thanks!

I’m 23M and I’ve had ARFID for my whole life.

I wanted to share my progress because truth be told I have made a lot.

As a kid my diet was incredibly limited, I pretty much lived on bread but fruits, cereals, pancakes or sweets were also in my wheelhouse. It made breakfast my favourite meal of the day and I would always try to load up as much bran flakes or Weetabix as I could because lunch was the second most difficult. And dinner was always the worst.

In hindsight I was very lucky in school, I got into a regular routine of cereals fruits and bread which just about gives you a balanced diet.

But the pain was always felt going out to restaurants or on school trips or hanging out at a friends house. I would always choose either not to eat anything until I got home or find some bread and butter or something.  Generally speaking I hid it very well, and because my day to day was normal enough no one, not even my closest friends really knew it was a problem.

Then in college everything collapsed, suddenly I was presented with having to go out for food or eat in the cafeteria. It was a disaster. My diet was lost as lack of routine set in (this also coincided with covid) and I fell into a major depression. No one had any idea what was wrong with me and I just had so little energy for year after year.

A few things kept me going though my strategy was to just not mention it and really try to face it. Every time I'd eat something new my throat would seize up, (but only the first bite and the last bite if that makes sense). And eventually I did that enough times, and in enough settings to make real progress. Nowadays I'm eating meat, stir fry, eggs, noodles, weird japanese food, burritoes. THings that would have inconceivable to me 5 years ago. I also feel generally more confident about trying new foods, as long the setting is alright.

I still have a long way to go and eating routine is quite difficult and still pretty irregular  but I really think slowly but surely I could one day learn to eat/try almost everything.

Some methods that have helped me so far:
 -eating with friends
-asking stupid questions like how do you eat this? (I had no idea how ppl ate spaghetti, makes no sense to me)
-Cooking with chatGPT
-eating slowly
-eating without youtube
-expecting the throat spasms to come and then breathing through it

Wishing everyone the best of luck, its a silent struggle but we gotta keep growing

I've had arfid for around 8ish years now. Starting in my teens and now going into my early twenties. Didn't know I had it for about the first 4 years until I went and saw a nutritionist for a bit a couple years back. I got a bit better with trying a few things every now and eating a bit more and it was decent for a while and while I was mainly eating the same thing and amounts it wasn't horrible. But lately probably around the last few months or so I've gotten so much worse.

My afrid mostly came from me having horrible mental health and family issues which led to me having depression and not eating at all. My mental health has been fine, it's probably the best it's ever been in years, so I don't think that has anything to do with it. But i'm just so sick and tired of food. I hate every day having to eat and there's nothing that I ever want. I had some safe foods that I was mainly switching up every few days but now I'm so tired of it all and I don't know what else to eat and the thought of starting over trying anything else just makes me feel awful.

I know that arfid is one ED that won't like fully go away but has anyone overcome something like this? To get to a point where I can at least be comfortable with more foods? I feel like it's all pointless and i'm so lost again. What can I do? I just wanna give up

i’m not good with fruits besides bananas and some apples but i finally worked up the courage to try a grape again after around 8 years. i’ve been wanting to try cotton candy grapes because i heard they tasted like cotton candy, and i tried one today. i only ate like a third of the grape and i didn’t like it but i’m still proud of myself for trying it at all :)

guess who’s had a full belly the last three days. ME and guess who actually enjoyed eating a meal for the first time in I don’t even know how long? MEEEEEE MEMEMEMEMRM I don’t know why or how but I have been doing suddenly amazing with my arfid (been getting stoned to help as well sometimes so I can get the munchies lmao) but i’ve been ACTIVELY SEEKING FOOD OUT and WANTING to finish it I can’t explain why or how long this might last (hopefully forever??) but suddenly food is not as evil feeling right now and I don’t know what to say or do about it but I LIKE IT and I have had a really hard time with food the last few months so to have these few days even feels like i’ve just won at life lmao idk i’m happy though and I rarely feel like i have control over my arfid in ANY sense so I really, really, really am so relieved to have a break

does anyone else frequently deal with hypoglycemia/reactive hypoglycemia? if i eat a safe food thats too carb/sugar dense, my sugar drops. if i wait more than 2-3 hours between eating meals or snacks, my sugar drops. ive had lows like this since i was a kid. but it sucks bc the solution to this is to eat smaller more frequent meals. i dont wanna eat more meals and my portion sizes are already small asf aghhhhhh 😭😭😭😭

So. My food aversions are almost all based on bad experiences- found a hair once 20 years ago? Haven’t eaten bbq chicken pizza since. Got food poisoning from mini corn dogs and weinerschnitzel? Never again to corn dogs OR anything from weinerschnitzel.

But one… evades me. I ate fish sticks as a kid and I liked them back then. But now? Can’t bring myself to even touch one, let alone eat it. I can’t figure out why.

Back in 2018(?) when romaine in Arizona had e.coli, I got e.coli from a tuna and lettuce sub at subway and haven’t eaten anything with fish since. But fish sticks ended way before that.

The thing that’s challenging me right now is that I’ve been having cravings for fish sticks. I know exactly why- it’s the lack of omegas, cravings are the body saying it needs or wants a nutrient, I don’t eat fish, and the craving has been satisfied in the past by taking fish oil supplements.

Fish sticks are my #1 fear food. And the only one I don’t understand. But it’s also my most frequent craving and it’s driving me insane, like I want to drive, in the pouring rain and flooding roads, to find somewhere with fish sticks at 2am.

How do I just…. Bite into the stick?

Do I buy a box of fish sticks and a box of identically shaped chicken and ask my husband to mix one fish stick in? But then I’d have a whole box of fish sticks in a household that has no fish eaters if I don’t like them…

Hey guys

I’m admittedly not totally sure if it’s ARFID or part of my OCD, but I really struggle with food. Specifically I’m Constantly worried about texture, flavor and it being contaminated to an honestly absurd degree. I’ve recently discovered that smoothies are usually acceptable for whatever reason and I’ve managed to sneak in spinach and bananas because it doesn’t affect the flavor much (at least not in a way I can’t tolerate) and then I can at least get Something other than prepackaged snacks and cereal into my diet

Does anyone have any other tips to make sure I’m still getting proper nutrients? Either by sneaking things in or maybe a multivitamin? The gummies honestly ick me out so if there’s pills I can take that’d be better. Even if I have to take multiple instead of one gummy it’s worth it. Any advice you can give would be much appreciated!! Thank you

I'm extremely exhausted, I'm crying every day, I'm crying right now as I'm making this. I don't know why this is happening, but for some reason I feel hungry after 2 hours even after eating meals that usually make me full. It's hard to stretch it and wait 3 or 4 hours, and I get absolutely NO sleep because of it, because I'm up eating every fucking minute. And when I'm not eating, I'm either crying or worrying in anticipation of how much free time I'll get to myself before I have to eat again. And crying makes my stomcah feel worse, it gets me hungrier quicker, and I'll have to force the food down my throat even when my throat is so tight I just want to throw up and be done with it all.

My anxiety is so bad that everything tastes like shit, I don't enjoy anything, and it's not just with food--I don't enjoy doing anything anymore. I've been on an anti-anxiety medication for a while now, but this all started when I got inconsistent and skipped a few weeks due to an already poor sleep schedule. I've been taking it consistently for a week now, and I don't know if I just need to give it time or up my dosage, but I know one thing. I can't keep doing this. It's hell, food is fucking disgusting and I hate it. Someone please tell me if this happened to them, or any advice that they might have. I'm already trying to eat different things, I'm doing protein shakes, I'm trying to calm down before bed. I can't get to sleep and I can't stand eating. I don't know what I want sorry guys I'm just so depserate right now

Hello! i am autistic and have arfid (obv) which means my daily foods are pretty limited. Recently i came home from university and ive experienced a pretty severe regression. My safe foods that have been safe for YEARS are now only safe sometimes and it’s been really hard. I’ve pretty much only been eating protein bars and whatever pre packaged snacks i can find in the house, but i haven’t been eating enough at all with this. I’m pretty much eating enough to take my medications and maybe one meal.

Some days are better than others, but many days i get headaches and have stomach issues due to the under eating. I’m really not sure what to do as it was not this bad before/during school so i’m rather unequipped.

if anyone could give me some tips to help get me back to eating a healthy amount it would be greatly appreciated!!

edit: i’m also set to start a stimulant soon due to bad executive dysfunction and adhd which i will likely need to work come june, but im concerned that it will reduce my already dwindled appetite. idk how relevant this is as ive never posted here, but figured it was worth a mention since im asking for advice

Backstory: Turned 30 recently and absolutely gave up on trying new things near the tail end of high school. It was simply too demoralizing and no physician, therapist, or CBT/eating disorder specialists knew what I was dealing with or how to treat it which crushed my spirit. But I also was dealing with Type II bipolar disorder which must've began in high school, it seems, which I was diagnosed with only a few months ago (too depressed for too long, never opened up about it, planned on suicide for a long time starting in high school, many failed attempts without anyone even knowing I was that low between 2018-2024, but after finally seeking therapy & psychiatry I've been slowly getting my life back on track the best I can).

Now that the Bipolar is somewhat stable enough to endure with my meds, I've finally mustered the courage to attempt to swing back and tackle my ARFID and tried baby carrots as my first new try since high school essentially. Gagged a bit on the first one but i was able to chew it up and swallow and each subsequent one has had no gag, though i'm still getting used to the flavor, regardless of how bland it is. Tried ranch and nearly vomited. Sticking with plain ones for now.

Current Diet: Plain/choco-chip pancakes/waffles w/ syrup, most cereals w/milk, fast food hashbrowns, toasted plain/garlic bagels with butter (cream cheese makes me gag), mixed nuts, peanut butter, Protein shakes & protein bars (no meat or plant proteins I can eat quite yet)

bananas, apples, mandarins, oranges, watermelon, grapes (melon/cantaloupe/strawberries i can eat, i just don't enjoy them much)

cheese pizza, cheese sticks w/ marinara, breadsticks, french fries (not a fan of ketchup surprisingly) and essentially most dry crispy crackers/junk foods are fair game (assuming i enjoy the flavor).

Question: I'm curious if anyone has any suggestions based on my current diet of foods that might be best to try next. I've tried Mac n Cheese, grilled cheese, and chicken nuggets many occasions with zero positive results, so i'm gonna avoid those still for now. Trying to branch out into veggies before meat, seems more doable to me for some reason.