Help please
Got into a domestic dispute over nothing last night. Been together 9 months now. There is a significant age gap, me (31F) him (45M).
I fled to my boss's house to avoid being injured (58F) because she cares about me...
He demanded i gtfo anyways as I was cooking dinner. He says the movies we watch together upset him. Im talking Netflix recommendations, horrors, thrillers etc.. That's why he felt it necessary to raise a hand to me, scream at me and kick me out of the home I help pay for. The groceries that fill the fridge off my own dime. He's also a raging drunk with 3 duis to give context. We work together at Saker shoprite in nj. We're both in management of sorts. No benefits yet no discounts everything out of pocket.
When I came over to my boss's house to crash on her couch, after I fell asleep I awoke to her husband pulling my pants down and forcing it inside of me..
I cried told him to stop.
He did, for the night.
I awoke the next morning early at 5am to him again.
This time there was no fighting him off.
Not only did he r\*pe me but he came inside. He's almost 60. I just wanted somewhere safe to be but there's no safe place for me. If I tell her it will ruin her marriage, living situation and probably our job together..
I have no family no friends nearby.
I am so lost.
I want to d\*e.
What is left for me?
My entire life is crumbling and now I have stranger danger bullshit to contend with in addition to dv?
Why am I not a human being?
Why am I not a person?
Why does everyone treat me like trash?
I want off this planet.