I Don't find any enjoyment in my life, and i feel like I'm waste of Life.
Hello, I'm (M17), and I feel like I don't have much Purpose in my life, and that I'm just worthless. I don't have any Close friends, and I feel like most just view me as some sort of acquaintance. No one rarely reaches out first, I'm Always The One Who has start any conversation. And yet some of them tell me why I do not talk to them. I could say the same thing for you, too, but I never do. I can tell by the look on my parents, they regretted even having me.
My Dad has been Absent for the Majority of my life, before I could even fully talk or even say a sentence. But when I do see him, there have been a handful of times where he tends to basically dehumanize me, and overall be a piece of shit. On the topic of pieces of shits, I am one myself. I treated people who showed nothing but kindness and love towards me, yet I still treat them like shit. I am aware, I want to change, but for some reason, I don't.
In most places, I seem like this amazing person, but at home, I'm completely different. I am disrespectful towards my own mother. I am unable to do a lot of basic Stuff myself, since I was babied my whole life. I think I'm a very unintelligent person. I feel like I'm boring. I don't do anything important with my own free time.
Sometimes I ask myself, Why was I even brought into this world? I never asked to be here. I think I'm a disappointment to all of my ancestors. So much money, Time, energy, oxygen, everything was wasted on me. I feel like everyone's life would have been better if I had never been born. I just feel like I'm unimportant.
There are a lot more flaws of mine I have not mentioned; I just didn't list them all because I will be just typing on a keyboard for the rest of the day.
Thank you for Reading.