As the title states, I was in love with a friend for 5 years and in all honesty we did act like a couple especially according to our friends.
The issue is that she decided we, not just me but all of us the entire group, aren't going to work as friends. Originally she had gone on a few months long break from us, to try and clear her head and come back to us better.
And now, I was doing fine back then. I don't know why I felt different when she ghosted us for that break vs her announcing shes cutting us off. It's just now that shes gone and she's told us she wants nothing to do with us I just can't seem to move on.
So now I'm unable to move on. I've been stuck in like this limbo of waiting for her to come back kinda hopeful she will but at the same time I SO badly want to move on.
For context, I have commitment issues, or atleast thats how my friends label it, and because of that before I met her I was shitty. I had a habit of leading people on, flirting yknow all that fun stuff. Yet when it came to her I stopped. Everything. I didn't flirt with anyone else, I didn't lead people on and what not.
So now that she's gone I don't know how I'm supposed to go about it. Do I go back to how I used to act? Flirting and hooking up for the fun of it? Or do I just like sit and wait?
I've never felt this way about someone before, never lost someone I held this close. So I don't know how to go about it.
Edit; I wanted to add more content, we both are heavily unstable mentally. With her home life being overly abusive and constantly moving. My side isnt really needed but it was mostly just grooming, but its what the other people involved reckon is why she cut us off along with how she used ai in her decision since at the time she was using it constantly.
I realized as well I'd like to mention this took places between now, and some of our highschool years.