u/Bandito2121

Dell' Abate comes home from his first day working as a waiter. He says to his wife, "What a clean joint I work in. We use tongs to pick up the ice cubes, tongs to pick up the rolls, tongs to pick up the napkins. They even have us tie a string to our dicks, so that when we have to take a leak we can just pull on the string to get our dicks out." His wife says, "How do you get your dick back in your pants?" Dell' Abate says, "I don't know about the other guys, but I use my tongs."

Woods is moping around the house, and he's irritable, he's real cranky. His wife says, "Woods, you're bored. For Christ's sake, why don't you get yourself a hobby?" He says, "All right." A week later, he says to his wife, "Hey, I got a hobby. Come on in here and I'll show you." He brings his wife into the bedroom, reaches under the bed, and pulls out a cigar box. He says, "I'm a bee collector. Check it out." She looks inside the cigar box, and sees a pile of bees. She says, "Woods, these bees are all dead." He says, "Fuck 'em."

Did you hear about the Jewish mother doll? You pull the string and it says, "Again with the string..."

Rufus calls up Teefus. He says, "Hello, Teefus? Why don't you come on over and watch the football game?" Teefus says, "I can't. I's layin' linoleum." Rufus says, "Oh? She got a friend?"

Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men? It changes their blood type.

It was discussed at least once when a fan called in asking about a different song. Jackie revealed the song was on the Off Hour Rockers Holiday Sampler: It's Christmas.

They then started goofing on the album and playing some of the tracks, one of which was called Betty's Tune, performed by Nancy and written by Jackie. Jackie described the song as "Betty singing to Archie" and said it was from a musical based on Archie that he tried to write. They asked him what else he'd written for the musical, but The Jokeman claimed that 'Betty's Tune' was the farthest he got, and Stern didn't really press him much. I would love to have known more about what ideas Jackie cooked up for an Archie musical.

Archived Jackie Jokepage

Some examples:

Why can't Frankenstein have any kids? Because his nuts are in his neck.

A guy's putting up a life-size advertisement. A girl looks up and says, "Is Bruce Springsteen coming?" The guy says, "No. It's just a little stuff on the end of my brush."

How many Jewish girls does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi and the cigarette and one to call her father

Little old Mr. Ravelli is out on his front stoop, barbecuing a chicken on a manual rotisserie, when a hippie comes walking by. The hippie stops, takes a look, and says, "Hey, man...the music stopped and your monkey's on fire."