Friend kept spoiling shows for me, so I started giving her fake spoilers
I have a friend who is physically incapable of letting people enjoy a show normally.
For months, anytime I mentioned starting something, she would immediately say things like “oh just wait until episode 5” or “you’re going to hate him later.” She always insisted these were not spoilers because she wasn’t saying exactly what happened.
I asked her to stop a lot. Calmly, annoyed, joking, all of it. Every time she told me I was too sensitive and that “hints don’t count.”
Fine.
A few weeks ago she started watching a series I had already finished. She was texting me about one character she really liked, so I told her “yeah, enjoy him while you can.”
She freaked out and asked if he dies. I said I couldn’t say.
He does not die.
Then a few days later she mentioned another character, and I said “that betrayal still makes me mad.” No betrayal happens. That character remains boringly loyal the whole time.
After about a week of this, she got really annoyed and said I was ruining the show for her. I said I wasn’t spoiling anything, just giving harmless little hints.
She immediately said hints absolutely count as spoilers.
There it is.
I told her none of what I said was true, and that I only did it so she could understand why it’s annoying. She called me petty and said I could have just explained it like an adult.
I reminded her that I did explain it, several times, but apparently the lesson needed subtitles.
She hasn’t spoiled anything for me since.