r/pettyrevenge

I used to work at a local tabletop/card shop that publicly had a really strong “inclusive safe space” image. At first, I genuinely bought into it. I love tabletop gaming, I love building communities around games, and I thought I’d found a place that cared about that too.

I worked there for a little over a year as basically a keyholder/manager-on-duty. I ran tournaments, handled closes, taught people new games, helped organize communities for games that were struggling locally, and generally became one of the people regulars expected to see when they walked in. Honestly, that was my favorite part of the job. Watching people make friends, helping shy newcomers feel welcome, introducing someone to a new game and then seeing them come back every week because they got hooked.

The problem was that the owners didn’t really care about any of that. They cared about squeezing every possible dollar out of the community.

The store sold tabletop games like Warhammer 40k, board games, and a bunch of trading card games. One of the biggest games there was a popular anime card game where organized play prize cards can be worth hundreds or even thousands of dollars. Pretty quickly I started noticing sketchy stuff. They would crack open product, pull out the valuable cards, then still sell the remaining product. They also sold organized play prize support they absolutely were not supposed to be selling. And I don’t mean “oh we had extras left over.” I mean employees were directly told to open prize kits and put the contents in the display case for sale.

The fake inclusivity thing also became obvious once I’d been there long enough. Publicly the store acted super progressive and community focused, but behind closed doors it was completely different. The general manager was a quiet January 6th supporter, employees and customers got misgendered in private, and it became pretty clear that inclusivity was mostly just part of the branding because they knew a lot of the local gaming scene was LGBT+.

The internal culture sucked too. Employees who went along with the greed got rewarded. Employees who pushed back mysteriously got scheduled less.

Unfortunately, I pushed back a lot. I argued against predatory pricing, against selling organized play prize support, and against a bunch of scummy business practices that treated the community like walking wallets instead of actual people. Management did not appreciate this.

Eventually I got fired over some tiny mistakes that other employees did all the time without consequences. But that’s at-will employment for you. If they want you gone, they’ll find a reason. I left quietly because realistically there wasn’t much I could do in the moment.

But there was one thing I could do afterward.

The game they made the most money from used an organized play app where stores register official events and receive prize support. This store had registered TWO store accounts under the exact same address so they could double dip on prize kits. Not hidden either. Literally publicly visible. Completely against the rules.

Before I got fired, I had already taken screenshots because I had a feeling they’d eventually screw me over and I knew some of what they were doing would absolutely get them in trouble if reported. So after they fired me, I sent the publisher everything: screenshots of the duplicate accounts, proof they were selling organized play prize support, and screenshots of internal discussions.

About a week later, the store lost organized play access entirely. Not suspended. Fully banned from being an organized play store for that company ever again. Which was devastating for them because that game was one of their biggest sources of traffic and money.

The best part was watching the meltdown afterward. The owners started blaming “haters,” accusing other local stores of sabotaging them, and desperately trying to report competing stores for random nonsense in retaliation. Meanwhile, people in the community started asking more questions and talking more openly about all the other sketchy stuff the store had been doing for years. Once people realized they actually had another place to play locally, a huge chunk of the community just left.

To this day, they still don’t know it was me. As far as I know, they’re still convinced another store somehow orchestrated the whole thing.

In reality, all I did was give accurate information to a company whose rules they were blatantly breaking while pretending to care about the community they were profiting from.

I have a neighbour in the backyard behind me always using a Chiminea Fire Pit & Grill blanketing the neighbourhood with smoke anytime it's nice open window weather. He's not cooking anything, he's just making smoke for a couple hours. I called the fire dept once and they showed up and gave him a pass.

I called them again and they said to stop calling and he's allowed to be doing that.

This really sucks cause I'd certainly like to be able to have my window open we we take our evening showers. Me and my backyard neighbour can't see each other, we have a 12' tall hedge in between. From my house it's about 30' to the hedge and he's just right on the other side, our lots aren't that deep.

When he's not out there making smoke he's listening to his music all day. He's a retired guy who gives no fucks. My brother was mentioning to have some high pitched frequency going on like those animal repellent device or something like that, but that could be traced back to me. Any tips to get this guy to fuck off?

Love this forum so much because I am a petty person. I have been trying to think of a petty revenge thing I have done, but none comes to mind. However, my sister, who is petty af as well, recently did a pretty good petty revenge against her unreasonable flatmate.

Just a bit of background story about her flatmate.

Her flatmate, let’s call her Karen, loved to steal food and kitchenware from my sister and the other flatmates. Karen would, for example, take half of someone else’s onion and place it back; she would also use other people’s pots and knives and put them in the sink afterwards without even trying to clean them.

Karen would also put her used socks and pantyhose in the hallway and would not pick them up for months. Karen also had a used coconut placed in the kitchen for 2 months that started to mold, but she wouldn’t throw it into the bin for “religious reasons.”

One time, she burnt a pot which the landlady provided for everyone to use, and she just tossed the burnt pot onto the balcony and did not attempt to throw it away properly or purchase a new pot.

Around 2 months ago, my sister found Karen’s student card on the floor and had this perfect idea. My sister placed the student card and the bathtub plug in the burnt pot and told me, “If Karen rights the wrong and throws away the burnt pot properly, she would find all the things she wants.” But obviously Karen wouldn’t.

So for 2 months, Karen had been complaining about her lost student card and the lost bathtub plug. She did ask my sister if she threw away the bathtub plug, but my sister kept a straight face and said she didn’t throw the bathtub plug away (she indeed didn’t). It was only until 2 days ago that Karen found her lost student ID card and the bathtub plug in the burnt pot. She sent a text into the flatmate group and said replacing the student card cost her 1000 dollars (total BS) and that she would like some reimbursement. Obviously no one replied to her, and it was Karen’s last day in the apartment anyway, as she is following her boyfriend back to India.

Btw, since Karen had been using religious reasons to refuse to throw away the molded coconut and other stuff, my sister also decided to use religious reasons to retaliate. When Karen walked past the hallway and left her used pantyhose there, my sister would say those pantyhose were a symbol of seduction in my sister’s religion and ask if Karen was trying to seduce my sister’s boyfriend. Karen then quietly threw away her used socks and pantyhose and never left any pantyhose or socks in the hallway again.

The more I write, the more I realise how petty my sister was. But she did what she had to do, and I am so proud of her. Cheers.

I have previously written up my more-than-petty revenge on this landlord. After a series of nasty incidents from him, we moved out and every month after that my cousin and I went to his house late at night and smeared ripe dog shit on his car door handle, his house door handle, and under his wipers. You get it. But to me this is not petty.

What I had completely forgotten was that just as we moved out (and keep in mind this was a fully furnished flat) I nailed a very large lamb chop and a couple of chicken necks to the underneath of the dining table.

This revenge was suggested to me by a friend of mine who was a chippy (carpenter) and it was his and his dad's way of getting revenge on people who didn't pay their bills. They reckon the victims could never find the source as you would never look underneath the table for it. I assume the place went unrentable for the week or two that it would have taken for the stench to dissipate.

I'm so glad I remembered this and was able to share.

Someone suggested I share here. Fellow petty bastards.

Anyways a while back I had an unknown neighbour start putting their trash in my wheelie bin (garbage can)🦅

It started out as a extra bag here and there and eventually escalated to them hijacking the bin and it being at the other end of the alley.

I was tired pissed off after months of this now at this point the bin is highjacked in someones back yard I'm sitting with a newborn and a bunch of shit filled nappies I couldn't get rid of (no I didn't do what you are thinking but I sure thought about it).

I waited patiently, unable to use my bin until collection day. Collection is about 9am.

6am I recover my beloved wheelie bin they left out the night before

I removed every single bag of theirs and dumped them onto the sidewalk at the end of the alley where all the bins go for collection filled up mine with my own rubbish and went about my day.

Walking back home in the afternoon and to my delight the offenders bags have all been rebagged by the city in bright blue bags with the city councils logo and something along the lines of "litter investigation evidence" printed on them.

I assume the city found a letter or something and they got a fine or at least a warning for it because my bin never got touched again not even a coke can, fines here are £400 upto £2500 for fly tipping.

They could have forked out £25 for a new bin instead but they chose violence and I responded.

A friend of many years (lets call her Alice), beginning in the studies, ghosts me now for one year, very deliberately. I thought we were really cose friends in a friend group consisting of my best friend and 2 more friends. I all introduced them. I now realized that she always wanted to get close to my best friend (she is indeed very cool), and took the first difficulty in our relationship and take it as an out and labeled me as dramatic and difficult. My best friend and her are closer than ever. Now I admit, that was a thought out plan of hers. But I wanna get some pretty revenge.

My plan: I know her current boyfriend, she doesn't know that. I want to post as if the boyfriend of hers was active on dating apps and post him in a group she's part of, where women share when man play them. I'll make a fake convo and profile and let that roll.

This was over a quarter of a century ago. Yes, I'm old. I was working as a truck driver and I had several runs ins with a warehouse supervisor who made up petty rules to mess with the warehouse staff which meant we had a crazy staff turnover. I had complained about him to the managers repeatedly. Note there was a driver shortage, especially of those with ADR (hazardous goods permits) that has never really got better.

His favourite thing was to screw with staff and make sure their days were miserable. He also tried it with the drivers by "forgetting" to tell the schedulers about urgent pick ups.

I was the last driver back, had called my wife to tell her I would be home soon, when he told the traffic controller about a pick up of four small bins of bolts (two head sizes, with two lengths) from a manufacturer that needed to be loaded onto an early morning run the next day. They could have told me about the pick up earlier. It was 30 minutes away from the yard but was on my way back from my route.

I got back after the pick up and he starts crowing about how he screwed up my evenings plans. All the warehouse staff but him had gone home. I walked into the General Managers office and told him what had happened. His response was a shrug so I told that I was going back to my truck to get my kit.

I opened the side curtains, unstrapped the load and shouted the manager and warehouse supervisor over. I told the manager that he allows the supervisor to bully people to screw with their lives, you can live with the consequences. I jumped in the cab, reversed hard, and stamped on the brakes, tipping the four small bins of bolts up the trailer. "You can sort the bolts out, and you can stick your job up your arse", got out of the cab and clocked out.

I called an agency and started in a new job the next day. One of the other drivers called and told me it took them two hours to sort it out.

Was anyone hurt? No. Just they got a taste of their own medicine. Was it petty, hell yes.

An ex I’ve known for 2 years came back after I got out of a relationship that honestly messed me up emotionally. I told her from the beginning I needed time to heal and wasn’t fully ready, but after a while I kinda got guilt-tripped into trying again because she was being really sweet and staying with me for weeks.

I’ll admit it was my mistake too because I genuinely thought maybe the feelings would come back and I’d be able to love her the same way again. But after some time I realized I just couldn’t force it, so I ended things honestly instead of dragging it out.

Then literally right after we break up, she adds back the ex who traumatized HER, lies about blocking them, and now it’s obvious they were probably talking the whole time 😭

At this point I can’t tell if I was a rebound, a revenge distraction, or just someone she used to feel less alone.

Do I just block and move on? Because part of me wants petty revenge but part of me feels like acting unbothered is the bigger flex

Update : I blocked her and her friends and that mfker she followed too, thank you for the encouragement

I so want to do some payback to this absentee neighbour. His roofing sheets have been lifted up for months and possums had taken up residence. He was warned not to screw them down during the day as the possums would be trapped. Sure enough he got up and fixed them during the day and that evening the possum was scratching, trying to get out. He visited the house the next day to feed the chickens he has been hatching inside the house (he’s setting up a chicken farm elsewhere with no power, so he’s using this house to hatch and grow the chickens-stinks to high heaven). I approached him to tell him of the issue but he blew me off claiming that the possums can get out of the house via the back of the house. Our house is of the same design so I know that the front ceiling space doesn’t open to the rest of the house. After a couple of nights of hearing the possums trying to escape, I know I need to do something to rescue them. I try the RSPCA who tell me that I need to have SEEN the possum, which I haven’t, so I try a local wildlife rescue who kindly came and did a gorilla rescue by unscrewing the roof panel while the owners weren’t home. A couple of nights later, again with the owners not there, we refixed the roof so the rain wouldn’t come in. I wanted to dump a big piece of liver in there so it would stink him out. I have lodged a complaint with the council about the smell of chicken sh*t coming out the window. We’ll see where that goes. I would so love to give them a little grief as they are not very nice people. My neighbour and me mow their lawn when we do ours and never get a word of thanks either!

Edit #2 (sorry I don’t know how to edit on Reddit properly) my pets eat better than me. They are on an organic raw diet free of synthetic vitamins and minerals. They have a full range of 5 acres to run free full of enrichment either from ponies, cows and a shallow river. I don’t currently have cats anymore as having them to live to be 22 and 23 made me never want to clean a litter box again. While I am very thankful that all of you guys are so invested on my pets well-being. And I think that’s fucking awesome because animals should be very much looked after and taken care of. This isn’t a pet story. It’s a survival of the human story. Then yes, I know a lot of humans are shit to their perfect animal companions that deserve better.

Edit to add: i’m so sorry guys. During my post, I forgot to add how the pets were actually transferred to my “current living”. No animals were harmed during this revenge. I love my pets more than anything and I would die for them. I am so sorry that I did not make that obvious in his post and rereading through it. I realize how important those animals are to everyone and I love you guys for that. 💕

On mobile and a drink or two in, so apologies for typos and such. I think the backstory will be longer than the actual revenge, so feel free to skip to the TLDR

I was with my now ex husband for a little over 10 years. We got together when I was 21f and he was 24m. It was instant love. He love bombed me constantly while occasionally making comments about my appearance. I was use to this being brought up by a bipolar and BPD mother. About 5-6 years into our marriage I began therapy, which gave me confidence to join an intense competitive yet supportive sports program and attend college and become the first of my family to graduate college. My ex began to become a bit more passive aggressive than usual and way more closed off about the more extensive work trips he needed to take. I did convince him to join me for a few therapy sessions as I was starting to feel great! He reluctantly agreed and after the 5th session my therapist (also licensed couples therapist) told me in a private session that she felt he was NPD. She assured me that many people can make these relationships work and never, ever pressured me to leave him. She just felt that for my future progress I should know.

Fast forward about a year, I started doing my own research on partners with NPD and my Ex exhibited ALL traits! Manipulation, always needing me to make sure I thought he was the best, bragging about how he manipulated people at work, a lack of empathy, dragging me down if my opinion was opposing to his etc etc.

As my naivety lessened and I became more self aware, and as texting became more common, I realized he was on his phone or PC on email more often after these work trips. Again, the more confidence I gained the more aggressive he became. And we always respected each other’s privacy, but at this point I gave no shits and looked through his email and text history.

SO MANY WOMEN!! Guys, I don’t know how I manipulated this genius manipulating little man that had held me under his thumb for over a decade, but I did! I somehow convinced him divorce was his idea. I think my memory is foggy around this time because of stress and anxiety because I knew if I asked for divorce I’d be in danger. I’ve only shared bare minimum details because this is already a novel, but girls.. and probably some dudes, if you’ve been with an NPD sometimes going to sleep next them is terrifying when you’ve broken their spell and you can sense they know it.

Fast forward to after filing for divorce (you have to wait 3 months in our state to get finalized). I’m moving my boxes to a UHaul and he has the audacity of bringing in his most recent cheating on girl (24! He’s 37 at this time) to hang out as they take turns mocking me verbally, both “accidentally” getting in my way while I’m carrying especially heavy boxes. She’s playing with MY DOG, tripping me up. And she knows I can’t take my precious pup or cat with me. At least my ex is kind of subtle.

Side note, I kick myself for not filling for alimony being that I had a minimum wage job as a full time student 3 weeks before graduation while he had a 6 figure income. I just didn’t want to rock the boat with this unstable new couple before our divorce was even finalized.

After i moved in with a shitty last minute roommate I still had the keys to the very dilapidated rental house run by slum lords that are a completely different story (ex didn’t want to waste extra rent money on anything nice) so I don’t feel guilty on what I did next, especially since there was a black mold experience going on in the laundry and bathroom.

This house had ventilation that first ran under the house and then up. So I went to PetCo and bought 4 bags of feeder crickets. I also filled a liter squirt bottle with buttermilk and set it to mist. When I knew they were both at work I went in and lifted up all the floor vents and dumped in a healthy amount of crickets. It was early fall so they’d survive a bit, but if you’ve ever smelled a load of dead crickets it’s literally death. So I was so excited for all those dead crickets to absolutely destroy their olfactory. (RIP crickets! I love all living creatures!) Then I sprayed down as many walls as I could with buttermilk mist. I don’t attest for any awful human being to live with black mold. But kind of fuck both of these guys. I tried my best to be kind and admirable while leaving that relationship and they made it hell. I would not have done this if it was a nice house and nice landlords.

But that’s my story. I’ve never been a vengeful person. I have always tried to look at the bright side or see someone else’s side of the story because not everything is black-and-white. But I think this time it truly was. Thank you for reading.

TLDR Diagnosed narcissistic personality disorder Ex husband cheated on me off an on during our 10 year marriage so I reverse Uno manipulative got him to agree to divorce and then left him and the latest cheating girl in our house with feeder crickets from PetCo in the ventilation and filled a spritz bottle with buttermilk and sprayed down the walls and it eventually caused the house to smell like death and mold.

The small rental across the street from my house is being rented by a young group of people. They always have 5-6 cars outside of their house, driveway filled, all times of day. I place my two trash bins in my driveway before pick-up. Shortly after, I found a third bin wedged right in between them, stuff spilling out, can't keep it closed. I check my camera, sure enough, I see them pull it across the street to my driveway. I decided to roll the bin down the street to a local park. I get charged extra if there are more bins to dump. I woke up early the next morning. Their trash did get dumped, I'm guessing they thought it was a city bin. But it was already partially full of trash again, and they're currently missing their bin.

I recognize this is an incredibly dumb petty revenge, but any time I'm turning right from the corner (it's a T intersection) towards my house, I full stop at the stop sign (y'know, like you're supposed to, but I get why people do a rolling stop). I then keep my turn signal on because my driveway is less than 30ft after the stop sign. I always always always back in because it's a nightmare to get out in the morning otherwise.

Tonight I'm getting home from the grocery store. Someone is behind me. I know what's about to happen but I'm doing it anyway. I stop, turn, *keep my turn signal on*, and since there's nobody in the opposite lane I swing wide and start to back into my driveway.

The person behind me decided not to stop at the stop sign and had to slam on their brakes to avoid hitting me. I back in, their passenger makes eye contact with me and is swearing from their seat at me. I can't hear it but it's incredibly obvious he's swearing.

Dude it's not my fault you decided not to follow a traffic law that literally would have prevented you being behind me while I was trying to get in my driveway.

TL;DR: I back into my driveway so I can get out in the morning, dude decided not to stop at stop sign and had to slam brakes to avoid hitting me while I backed in

I have a friend who is physically incapable of letting people enjoy a show normally.

For months, anytime I mentioned starting something, she would immediately say things like “oh just wait until episode 5” or “you’re going to hate him later.” She always insisted these were not spoilers because she wasn’t saying exactly what happened.

I asked her to stop a lot. Calmly, annoyed, joking, all of it. Every time she told me I was too sensitive and that “hints don’t count.”

Fine.

A few weeks ago she started watching a series I had already finished. She was texting me about one character she really liked, so I told her “yeah, enjoy him while you can.”

She freaked out and asked if he dies. I said I couldn’t say.

He does not die.

Then a few days later she mentioned another character, and I said “that betrayal still makes me mad.” No betrayal happens. That character remains boringly loyal the whole time.

After about a week of this, she got really annoyed and said I was ruining the show for her. I said I wasn’t spoiling anything, just giving harmless little hints.

She immediately said hints absolutely count as spoilers.

There it is.

I told her none of what I said was true, and that I only did it so she could understand why it’s annoying. She called me petty and said I could have just explained it like an adult.

I reminded her that I did explain it, several times, but apparently the lesson needed subtitles.

She hasn’t spoiled anything for me since.

Last week a delivery driver for a big construction company parked his truck in the only driving lane on a big city street and proceeded to make his delivery. The bus I was on was unable to reroute (streets to small for bus to turn) and then car after car also got caught in the jam. Bus driver and then some resident all yelled at him he can't park in the only driving lane. He yell an said he's allowed because making a delivery.

I got the name on the company and truck ID/license. Originally I was just going to just call and tell the company but I knew nothing would be done. So I called the company HQ and said (in a kindly old man voice) I'd seen a driver (date/time/location/truck ID) drop a significant amount of cash and that I'd like to return it to the driver. They made some calls and eventually the guy calls and says "thanks for finding the $cash" and we set up a time to meet back in the city (he lived/worked about 30-45 minutes away.

I gave him the address of the Rec Center down the block from my house so I could watch his arrival. One he got there and texted that to the "good Samaritan" I said I was picking up an Rx and could he wait a bit. I see him get out of car, smoke, and probably think of how he's gonna spend the $1800 he never even dropped. After 25 minutes (and a few apologetic texts) I tell him I'm inside the Rec Center. He gets out of car and goes inside. Several calls ensue and I don't answer. He walks back to car and I text that I saw him but was on the other side of the Rec Center and using crutches so I couldn't catch him. He walks back inside. several more calls/texts. Now he is getting pissed. He stomps back to his car and I call him, now using my real voice, and tell him "sorry man, I know waiting sucks. Remember that delivery you made on ___ Street on Monday? Well I was in the bus that had to wait for you. Now you just waited for $ that was never real and BTW I'm watching you from my house right now you fat a-hole. " He turns so bright red I can see it. He calls and texts threats several times (all to a burner phone number I got special for the occasion) but I don't reply. The last few days I have called him from a hotel lobby guest phone just to tell him/leave a voicemail that he should never block the street and hope he didn't need the $.

Long story short, my husband bought a mobile home with his stepmother and shit hit the fan because she ended up being a terrible person. While we had been living in the mobile home (just him and I) we had been making small little upgrades to the house as we were able to because well, it was ours.

One of those upgrades was rescreening all of the window screens with very expensive pet friendly screening material so that my cats didn't destroy the window screens. It took me about 9 hours to do all of the screens. Well, after everything hit the fan we ended up leaving and signing over our ownership of the trailer and in the process, I took all of the screening out of the window screens and brought it with me so that I can use it at our new house that we bought.

It seems so silly, but it felt so good. It's just my little touch of petty.

This is a very small petty revenge, and this lady deserved so much more then this, but sometimes you have to take the wins were you can. This isn't my petty revenge, but my mothers.

For context:

My father has schizophrenia and have had some psychotic breaks. He is not and has never been dangerous, but we do take precautions just in case.

I grew up in a very small village, with no therapist or psychiatric in the village. So my father only had a support contact or something, I think she's a social worker, but im not sure. I only know her by my mom's nickname for her, "hespetre" it translate to Swift, like the thing for yarn. And in my language its used as a derogatory term for a mean and unsympathetic woman, not sure why tho.

In 2010, my mother was about to divorce my father (not cuz of his illness). She told the hespetre before she told my father, to give her a heads up in case my father got a psychotic break from the news.

This hespetre decided by herself that she should be the one telling my father, and on the worst timing ever. She told my father about the divorce the day before my father was gonna take me(10 at the time) and my brother (14 at the time) for a trip 2 hours away.

In my mothers eyes, and I agree, this woman risked her husband and her children's life, because those news could have gotten him into a psychotic break when he was gonna drive with me and my brother in the car. Luckily he didn't, and we were all safe. But my mother has had absolutely zero respect or trust in her after that day, naturally. And this is just one of many examples for why she's an hespetre.

Now for the petty revenge:

A year later, my mother was working at a nursing home and was alone in the kitchen, when the hespetre walked in. The kitchen had this strange ass sink that was hard to figure out (not totally sure what my mom meant by that). The hespetre was going to fill a jug with water but couldn't figure out the sink. She asked my mom for help and my mom answered "anyone with a brain can figure out a sink" and just walked out of the kitchen

Edit: meant to write "anyone with a brain..", not everyone, in the title

I was at a bar waiting for my husband, wearing a somewhat low-cut blouse for him because it was our anniversary and we were going out for dinner after.

This was about a year after my double mastectomy for hereditary breast cancer, and my new breasts didn't quite look natural yet as they were just "settling in" and looking boyant.

I heard a group of grown women and men sitting beside me, drunk, not caring how loud they were, commenting on my breasts and saying how they hated women who had fake breasts, and how the women who had them themselves were fake, and on and on.

I finally turned to them and said, "You know what I hate more than fake breasts?" They were silent. "Breast cancer." I said.

They mumbled amongst themselves, and someone said, "Shit, sorry..." and they left shortly after.

My husband arrived, and we had a good laugh. Don't judge, you might not know the whole story.

We're planning for a high school reunion this summer. There is a online forum to post memories, stories, funny things that happened, etc. I had forgotten about this one:

Mr. Maus taught Science and was not well liked. He would constantly tell stories to us, bragging about all the wonderful things he had done in his life. We'd refer to him (when out of earshot) as "All World" because whatever someone did, he had done it, and much better. His lessons always seemed to weave in his great achievements.

He started on some sort of forensics unit, to teach us how to solve crimes using scientific methods. Our "reward" was to have a day of class when we would all play the game Clue. One table was a player short, so Mr. Maus sat in. We learned that he was a Clue champion, having played it all the time before he became a teacher. He chose Colonel Mustard for his character, told us that he always had that character because of his name, and was known as "Colonel Maustard" when he played. He encouraged us to use that name during the game.

For the rest of the school year, many of us addressed him as "Colonel Mouse Turd" in class, and he never caught on. He actually smiled when someone used it.

Been dealing with this woman for 3+ years she’s been harassing me and my family and has tried to attack me more than once. But wait it gets good. She’s taken it upon herself to sell drugs to the local teenagers who I’ve found out are only 14 and has been confronted by parents and police to leave these minors alone and she won’t. She does an insurance scam so she doesn’t work and is home all day every day, family rarely visits, no man, no kids, just a miserable tweaker with too much time on her hands. Her “mommy” bought her place so the housing agency has no idea a literal criminal lives there (found out she moved here bc she was on the run from another state) and to clarify the mom doesn’t live there nor does she visit. The police have cited her, arrested her, but she does not let up at all ever. She walks around the whole complex at all hours of the night, she’s damaged my car and makes up so many things another neighbor has attacked us on her behalf. I’m just tired of her getting away with everything. It seems no one is trying to protect these kids either! A whole family had to move because she wouldn’t stop giving their son drugs! Soo! I finally got her phone number and I need the meanest/pettiest things I can do or sign her up for. Keep in mind this woman is a literal pedophile who has kids in her house all hours to smoke meth and drink. And yes I know this for an absolute fact I’ve seen it myself while they’re on the patio, I’ve talked to some parents and she’s admitted some things to the police.

Way back in the Dark Ages of my early 20s, I was shopping at the grocery store. A couple walks up and gives a cheery, “Hello, MyName!”

I respond politely and move on. They follow me. “Don’t you know who we are?”

“Not really.” I was distracted, mind on my shopping list.

Dramatically he asks, “Then why did you respond to us like you did?”

What? Politely? I realize I’m missing something, but the ladies in my family always stressed being nice. Honey and flies and all that. I mean, I was trying to be nice. I felt bothered and a little bored by these two.

“I work at Big Government Installation. I’m the only female in my department. EVERYBODY knows my name. I thought you knew me from work.” I’m ready to move on but they keep talking.

“We’re Cissy. And Buddy. Don’t you remember us?” She’s getting all breathless now, excited about something.

“No, not really.” Now I move on and wonder if they are from high school. She was giving high school vibes. I finish my shopping and checkout, these people already forgotten.

Until I get behind the wheel** and the memory smacks me right between the eyes….. OMG!

** I had driven her around in my car!

Cissy! And Buddy! That bitch! That bastard! I’m ready to march back inside and lay into both of them.

Suddenly the most amazing calm overtakes me! Wait. They thought they had ruined my life, my marriage, my friendships….

And I couldn’t be bothered to remember who they were!

I cackled. I howled. Thank GOD I didn’t remember while I was in the store. Yes, I had been their victim, but I feel that GOD used me to bring them down several notches!

I still smile when I remember her breathlessly asking if I remembered her. She was waiting for my face to fall, my eyes to fill with tears. They wanted me to rush away in a panic while painful memories hit me.

Nope, you little home wrecking jerks. I finished my shopping and continued my life.

Living well truly is the best revenge. Telling home wrecking a$$holes they aren’t worth remembering is my petty revenge.