Talking to my failed talking stage’s friend… am I creating a mess? [25F]
I recently went on a first date (last sunday) with a guy I’ve been talking to for a while. The date went well overall good conversation, chemistry, and we’ve been texting since then with more consistency. He even tried to take me out yesterday after work but I was a little tired)
However, there’s a bit of a complicated context:
Before I met him, I had a brief talking stage in 2025 with one of his teammates (pro-athletes). Lets call him Mr. A [25]. I wont go into detail but we went on several dates and i went to his place once. It never became official, there were no sexual relations (We kissed once tho), and it ended pretty casually, we agreed to go our separate ways, but some of the teammates were aware we were talking at the time. I know this coz last year he invited me to some event(Red Room) and some of his teammates were there too and he introduced me to some.
Now I’m worried this could become awkward if things continue developing with this new guy (Mr. B), especially because they’re on the same team and likely friends.
Let me give you a bit of context. Mr. B [27] slide DM'd me this year while he was still in his his country (he is not Kenyan) he told me he comes to Kenya alot. We started talking I knew he was pro-athlete but he told me he is still weighing his options on which team to sign. He was really consistent and all that. One day he told me he is in Nairobi not jusy to visit but long-term because he just signed a contract to play on a team in Kenya. Making him teammates with my failed talking stage in 2025.
I really like him and I can tell there’s mutual interest. We have similar values. But I also don’t want to rush things or create unnecessary complications before there’s clarity and commitment. Because of that, I’ve decided to pace things physically and emotionally.
My questions are:
- Should I mention the past talking stage early, or only if things get more serious?
- Could this realistically affect things between us?
- And how would you personally handle pacing intimacy in a situation like this?
What are your honest perspectives kindly? tl;dr