r/KenyanLadies

Hey ladies ..

So do y'all allow your men to chat/reply to their exes texts/calls ?

I am a househelp. Last I was here about my job, I asked if you allow your help to rest and someone suggested I should talk to my employer about it and I did. I get one hour off......mostly. small win

Anyway, let's talk about food. I grew up in a home where different people ate different meals. You can already guess that I did not get the good meals. It honestly didn't give me sleepless nights, and I developed resilience. I also developed some sort of eating disorder where I can not eat comfortably in someone's house. I am also a secret member of The Clean Plate society, and I hate wastage. This information is necessary, I promise, lol.

So, my employer has this habit of saying exactly how long she expects things to last. At first, I ignored it, and then I just stopped eating meat because that is what she was usually on about. And I am not even upset or anything, I am just like, kuku/fish, haitafanya nikasirikiwe kwa hii nyumba. I doubt she even noticed.

One time, the husband says that we should be using olive oil for all meals except deep frying. I do 99.9% of the cooking, and most times, the toddler requires a separate meal. They come from a place where stews, ie meat have to be in the fridge at all times, and their cooking requires a lot of oil. I used 1l in 14 days, and all hell broke loose.

There's also some things....offering me food that I am not supposed to have only when it is about to go bad. One time she offered me a chocolate then came back 10 minutes later asking if she can take it back. I guess I wasn't excited enough to gobble it down immediately. I of course told her to have it.

But here is the topper. She said that she doesn't feel safe when I go out with her daughter. That she keeps asking herself if I am talking good care of her, lol.

This is my third month here. A fellow nanny told me that this woman is indirectly asking me to leave and I think she is right, lol.

I might just up and head out and she will tell all her friends that after everything she did for me, lol.........

Did you know that it is possible for you to be a good person and not a kind person?

As an unemployed 27F who does online jobs from home FYI, they are declining at a high rate, I am considering vlogging and content creation.

I am a very shy person with people around and I would cringe to have my video out there. I get anxious when public speaking I might even start to stutter. This all comes from the fear of how people will perceive me which is a feat that was passed on to me at a very young age by my mom and I've battled with it for quite some years but I still find myself giving a fuvk.

I know I can make a lot of money if I embrace being audivious and not giving a fuvk but the fear is really crippling me. I don't know how to change this. I've read self help groups but I am still not getting there. I care too much about people' s opinion. I need to have courage, confidence and thick skin but I don't know how to do that. I just have this feeling that content creation might be my IT and I could get a few gigs or brands to notice me. So how do I release myself from the shackles of caring about others? Because I am about to be jobless and my degree didn't secure me a job since I graduated in 2022.

Please be real with me and brutal if you have to. I need to get off the couch and start vlogging

So we have a work colleague who is pregnant, actually several but I assume this one is closer to due date. For context, we are a workplace of around 30 with around 10 women. So we all mostly get along, like salamu, jokes, we mostly eat lunch together because the company provides. If anyone for instance amezaa people contribute and its a kawaida thing. So back to the story, a baby shower is planned that I have no idea of. I'm going about my day nikiwa salon when I see a call from one of my colleagues and it goes, "hey, we were planning a surprise baby shower for so and so and wondering whether we could use your house, because the house we were to use something happened ". Note that this is the morning of the baby shower. Guys at that point nilimute call hadi nikauliza msee wa salon kama ameskia hiyo maneno. I mean you guys never informed me about the party but mkona audacity ya kutaka kutumia nyumba yangu? What the hell is wrong with your houses or just doing an outside event like everyone else? I eventually declined but women really?? Do better!

Heyyy Girliess,

I am looking to buy jewelry for a friend in Kenya for her birthday. Any shop suggestions??? Or any other good alternative suggestions would be appreciated. Muahhh

This is gonna be a long one...

So my former best friend is telling everyone I am insecure. Maybe I am, but if you saw the way she looked at my husband, you would understand why I no longer want her in my life. You can call me Ann, I am 33, and I have been married for 8 months.

My former best friend Faith and I were friends for almost 10 years. Real best friends. We spoke every day, knew each other's secrets, traveled together, spent holidays together. People joked we were sisters. Looking back, maybe we were too similar, especially when it came to men. Neither of us had a good dating history.

In my late 20s, I started dating a married man. I am not proud of it. He told me his marriage was over, that he and his wife only stayed together for the kids. Faith knew everything, and instead of discouraging me, she encouraged it: "Enjoy your life! If he wasn't happy at home, he wouldn't be chasing you." That was how we thought back then.

The difference was that my situation got serious. After almost 3 years, he actually left his wife. It took time, there was drama, his family was angry, my family was embarrassed, his ex-wife hated me and I don't blame her. Eventually we got married. I know people judge how my marriage began. That's their right; I can't change the past. What I can do is build a good future.

The problem started after the wedding. Faith was still living the same lifestyle, still dating married men, and men with girlfriends, still calling herself a "soft life queen." At first I didn't care. Then she started making comments about my husband.

One evening at dinner, she laughed and said, "You know, if I had met your husband first, things might have turned out differently." Everyone laughed. I laughed too, but something about it bothered me. A few weeks later she visited our house. My husband walked in from work, and I noticed her staring, not casually, really staring. She smiled and said, "Marriage looks good on you." Once he left the room, she turned to me and laughed, "Your husband is looking finer these days." I forced a smile, but inside I felt uncomfortable.

After that, I started paying closer attention. I knew Faith. I knew how she behaved when she liked a man, the laugh, the touch on the arm, the prolonged eye contact. Little by little, I started noticing those same patterns around my husband.

Then came the comment that pushed me over the edge. We met for dinner, just the two of us. She was telling me about a new man she was seeing,married, again. I said, "Faith, when are you going to stop doing this?" She rolled her eyes. "Here we go." I said, "I am serious. You know how these things end." She laughed, "Not everybody gets lucky like you." I frowned. "What is that supposed to mean?" She said, "You dated a married man, and you married him. So why are you acting holier than thou?"

I stayed calm. Then she said something I have never forgotten: "If your husband met me first, you probably wouldn't be a Mrs. today." For a moment I thought she was joking. Then I looked at her face. she wasn't laughing anymore. Something cold settled in my stomach. "What exactly are you trying to say?" She shrugged. "Nothing." But I knew. For the first time since we became friends, I knew exactly why I felt uncomfortable, and I knew I didn't want this woman anywhere near my marriage anymore.

After that dinner, I stopped calling her. For the first time in almost 10 years, I started living my life without her. A few weeks later she called, over and over, until I finally answered. "So, we are doing this now?" she said. "I don't trust you around my husband," I told her. Long silence. Then she burst out laughing. "You can't be serious!"

She got angry. "So that is what this is about? You are jealous of me!" I said, "I am not jealous." "Then what are you?" "Careful." That offended her more. Then she hit me where it hurt: "You know what your problem is? You are insecure. You stole somebody's husband. You spent years helping him cheat, then he left his wife and married you. Now suddenly you are afraid another woman will do the same thing to you. That is guilt, Ann, not intuition."

For a second I actually questioned myself. Maybe part of me was afraid because I knew exactly how my marriage had started. But then I remembered who Faith was, every married man she'd dated, every warning she ignored. Even if she wasn't actively trying to take my husband, she still wasn't the kind of person I wanted around my marriage anymore.

I finally said, "Maybe I am insecure. But if protecting my marriage makes me insecure, I am okay with that." She snapped, "No, you've changed." I said, "Exactly. I have. I wish you well, but I don't want this friendship anymore." She went quiet, no comeback, and hung up.

That was 6 months ago.i don't want to say I'm the perfect one here.. We haven't spoken since. I've heard she's telling people I cut her off because I'm insecure. Maybe she's innocent, maybe I overreacted, or maybe I saw enough to know where to draw the line. What I do know is that I sleep peacefully now.

My next door neighbour had a guest he was showing out earlier today and coincidentally I met her kwa stairs, when we got to the gate and I looked at her back part of the thigh( she had a short mini dress on),she had a white paste like thing on there.

By the time I clocked what was going on.She was already out and I got caught up in the commotion outside, I was going in a different direction na juu pia mimi ni muoga 😭aah I beat myself up a good one for letting her go just like that.

Lakini huyu mtu wake pia mbona hakumkubali aclean up angalau before she left, najua Umoja hakuna maji but hata ya passport angalau.

I've already beaten myself enough about it aki! Hapo niliangusha madems.

I just got a job interview for an IT post i had applied to in Nairobi,I live very far from Nairobi and they wanted a physical interview.Should I request a virtual interview or go to Nairobi at the expense of costs and not being sure of getting the job?Also what are the tips for IT support interviews..this is my first interview

Hey ladies. I didn't want to ask this in a mixed group because I'm starting to think it might be a hormonal thing or something. Do any of you ever get randomly nauseated? For me it usually lasts like 3–5 days. Since yesterday I've had so much mucus in my throat and it's making me gag all the time. Other than that, I don't have any other symptoms.

It's also been about a week since my period ended, so I'm wondering if it could be related to ovulation. I've been eating unhealthy amounts of Tropicals because they're the only thing that seems to help with the gagging. 😭 Has anyone else ever experienced this, or is it just me?

Any gender btw. I’ve found that a woman who is proud of being friends with only guys because ‘girls have so much drama’ is dealing with internalised misogyny.

For guys, the bushy beard-sunglasses- baseball hat combo is an initial tell. I’m not a scientist, but this has never steered me wrong. They always turn out to have some crazy ideas about women. God help you if he’s also hyper religious.

Ladies, I hope the audience here doesnt find this qn offensive.. Anyways im a really hypersexual girlie and straight... But I've started entertaining the idea of women because why not.....

So I was wondering do any girls here have like female besties they get nasty with sometimes? Its all physical to me 😂this idea has sort of become an obsessive kink that I think about in the past few days and I just cant wait.

I am a househelp. I am poor. This is important, lol. I spent the day in hospital, where I was diagnosed with a blood infection. I have to take 5 injections but unfortunately they do not open during the weekend but they gave me the drugs. Mind you......I only paid 10bob for a book. Everything including the drugs were free. I don't even have SHA. Now, I work in westlands. Does anyone know where I can get these two injections for the weekend done at the least possible cost. I already have the drugs. Asanteni

So here is the scenario. A person was providing a service to you, gives you the wrong account number. You go to reverse, the bank says it will take a while. He demands that you pay, you tell hin he gave you the wrong number, you will pay when the reversal is done because you cant afford to pay twice.

The reversal is done and you indeed pay him.

AITAH??????

Hello ladies, I need your help kidogo

So I've been having this smell in my p*ssy, it's not a fishy smell but rather a strong smell to what I'm used to.

Ik it's not an UTI or yeast infection. The discharge is whitish kinda okay. I went to a chemist explained my situation and they gave me some pessaries, zingine za reddish and white idk called clo sth but they didn't help with my issue. So my beautiful ladies, what can you advice? Is it a hormonal thing or what?

Need an opinion or two

Hey ladies, hope your week is going great.

I have a question. Say you're dating somebody. Have slept with them and sure you're starting to catch feelings. Following the advocates of "check his phone and see what he is on early" you check and find that this guy has been posting his nudes online. For example i see communities here where there are explicit photos of randy guys, or i don't know, body positive people??? Should we call it that? Or these funny apps like fetflife and kinky websites

So this guy doesn't show his face but there are photos of his junk and maybe one or two with other women. Could be before y'all were serious about each other. But even after you both decided to be serious these pictures are still online, he hasn't posted any recently but still. It's weird to see stuff like that online right?

How would you feel?

Or react?

I'm not shaming anybody don't get me wrong, whatever floats your boat but why do you still have these pictures online if you're serious about dating somebody?

For the last few weeks i have been looking deeply at the difference between my mother’s side of the family and my father’s, and all i can say the rift is wideee.

Well for starters on my mother’s side has only one graduate. My uncle. Graduated in 2009. Since then, none. I’m the second person to get to campus kwetu, we can’t rely count my brother since he decided to drop out. Which means i will be the second graduate kwetu plus the first female graduate. Heeeh the pressure i get just from this wacha tu.

Apart from that I am the only female to get to 21 without a kid or pregnant. All my female cousins wakona watoto…some are even almost my age. Most are married to dead beat men ushago. Tegemeo ni mimi and my small sister ako 2nd year sai. We had hopes in a cousin of mine whose two years younger but she got pregnant first year akaamua kuoleka. Sai akona mimba ya pili. Heeeh.

My father’s side at least we have some graduates . We have women who didn’t opt to get married or have kids and they are thriving quite well.

What I love about this side of the family is that hakuna pressure ya kuoleka ama kupata watoto. Juu tell me why my aunts from my mother’s side were telling me nizae niwapeleke watalea??? Na pesa gani??? Na hao wanaume wenu who don’t provide for you?!?!?

Arghgh. Anyway wacha nijikaze i change the narrative. Lakini the pressure i feel, juu on top of all this i am also the first born daughter. Eiii kichwa huruka saa zingine but i guess its allowed.

Oh and both families hakuna alcoholics(that I know of). Well except for me and my siblings, but i wouldn’t call us alcoholics…kuonja onja si mbaya, ama👀