u/Extension-Spend-6759

Heey.

To my hyper independent ladies especially first born daughters how are y'all doing?

Personally, I feel like crashing out rn😭. Sometimes I also want to be someone's baby. I want to be pampered, taken care of, randomly spoiled, reassured and that I don't have to carry everything on my own.

Because being the "I got it "girl gets exhausting. Sometimes I don't want solutions, I don't want to figure things out, I don't want to be responsible for everything. I just want someone to look at me and say "Relax, I've got you" and maybe some funds of affirmation while they are it because why not😭😂.

Is it a just me feeling or we are many?

Dating nowadays is expensive. Eating well doesn't have to be.

While you're busy looking for your soulmate or your next situationship let me make sure you don't have to survive on instant noodles.

Single? Dating? In a it's a complicated situation? I do affordable homemade meal preps that taste like someone actually cares.

Patronize me woiyee. Ama who wants to adopt a ka 22yr old chubby baby who is well mannered? 😂

Shoot me a DM and let's feed your stomach before your feelings. If you are along Thika road the better but I'm very flexible.

Long post incoming. I didn't realize how much I needed to vent till I started typing.

There was a time I was in love and whew.... lately I've been missing those moments.

When this guy first approached me, I told him I'm materialistic and I love money just to ward him off. (My last relationship ilikuwa imenipea character development moja safi). Later I came to know you shouldn't say that to a Luo man coz that made him pursue me harder.

Eventually I fell for him. One thing about that man? He never forgot what I told him the first time. My phone would randomly light up with an mpesa message and I'd just smile. Sometimes I miss the little things though. Going out and coming back home tipsy and having drunk sex, waking up to make tumbukiza for the hangover, cozy movie nights, random night drives, solo concerts in the house and being spoiled for no reason.

Before the what did you bring to the table committee arrives...I used to spoil him too sometimes.... watches, his fav perfumes, little thoughtful gifts. And he was my safe space and I was his. My kanono,kafupi,round self genuinely felt loved and appreciated. Until the village people decided to use voodoo on us.

Now I've recently tried dating apps. Eloi Eloi😭.Kwanza the batch of when should I come over to your place unipikie ni wengi😂💔.Nikama nitajikula kula for now because these streets are something else.

And no I don't miss my ex but I miss being in love even the crazy unromantic moments.

PS: Mnitafutie mtu ama nianze kuwagongea btw.

Nowadays it feels like everyone has decided marination tuachie chakula pekee.😂

What happened to the slow burns?

I want the teasing the teasing that starts hours before we even get to the bedroom activities. Maybe a text that completely ruins my concentration. I want us trying to distract each other all day, building the anticipation until neither of us can think straight.

The teasing while I'm in an oversized T-shirt making dinner. Playfully arguing over little things. The lingering eye contact from across the room. The come here for a second only for it to turn into a long hug and some touching.

I don't know maybe I've read too much romance novels to a point I'm delulu😂 but to me, foreplay doesn't start in the bedroom, it starts hours before...with the flirting, the anticipation, the stolen touches, the laughter and making each other feel wanted.

Am I the only one who misses that slow burn, or are we all just speed running romance these days?

We talk about women yearning, but we rarely hear about men who do.

Does male yearning exist? Do guys actually wait for a girl's reply? Do they think about her throughout the day?(And that is past the honeymoon phase) Do they reread old chats when they miss her? Do they smile at random because she crossed their mind? Do they ever wonder if she's thinking about them too?

What's the sexiest form of intelligence?

Intellectual? Emotional? Social? Creative? Financial?

Which one wins you over every time and why?

For me, it's intellectual and emotional intelligence. There's just that magnetic pull when someone can stimulate your mind as effortlessly as they make you feel understood. Someone who can make you question your perspective,teach you something new, and still create a space where you feel heard and safe.

To me, that's the kind of attraction that lingers long after the butterflies have settled.

Lately, reading through my Substack has made me realize something...

The art of intimacy feels like it's disappearing. We've become so quick to jump into sex that we've forgotten intimacy isn't inherently sexual. It's being understood without performing. It's late-night conversations, comfortable silence, forehead kisses, laughing until you can't breathe, feeling emotionally safe with someone.

Maybe I'm romanticizing it, but it feels like we've traded connection for convenience.

Am I the only one who feels this way, or have we genuinely forgotten what intimacy feels and looks like?

My walls and I have become a little too close. I'm honestly tired of spending every weekend indoors and doing solo coffee dates.

Looking for someone to unwind with and enjoy the weekend. Maybe a cook-in session, a couple of drinks or a chilled 4.20 session if that's your vibe.

I'm 22F. Preferably looking for someone along Thika road or its environs. Any gender is welcome if we click, we click. If this sounds like your kind of vibe, feel free to DM me.