u/Basic_File_5385

Hi all,

I’m in a situation where I feel completely stuck between survival mode and trying to keep my relationship alive, and I genuinely don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore.

Right now, I’m focused on getting permanent residency, which means I can’t just quit my job, move to a more social city, magically become super fit again, and instantly rebuild a huge social circle like I had before. I want those things too, but my current reality is more about stability and long-term security than living my ideal lifestyle.

My partner seems unhappy that I’m not currently the version of myself she wants the more social, outgoing, fitter version I used to be. And honestly, it feels like unless I change all of that quickly, she doesn’t really like me as I am now.

What’s making it worse is the communication dynamic between us lately. Sometimes she says she wants “me time” and barely talks to me, which I completely respect. But then later she’ll call me sounding annoyed or angry that she “has to” talk to me. I’ve told her multiple times she doesn’t need to force herself to call me if she doesn’t want to, but then she says she calls because she feels guilty not talking to me.

So now I’m stuck feeling like somehow I’m the reason she feels pressured, even though I’ve literally told her not to force herself. It creates this weird dynamic where I feel blamed for needs or expectations I’m not even asking for.

At this point I honestly can’t tell if I’m being unreasonable for wanting patience and basic affection while I work through a difficult stage of life, or if this relationship has turned into a situation where I’m constantly being measured against a version of myself that I can’t realistically become overnight.

Have any other guys dealt with this kind of situation where life circumstances forced you into survival/stability mode, but your partner slowly became resentful of who you currently are?

I’m 27 soon and honestly feel like I haven’t really done much in life apart from the basics.

I moved to another country 9 years ago, studied hard, got a job, kept pushing through etc. I’m hopefully about a year away from finally getting my paperwork sorted which has honestly been one of the biggest things holding me back career wise. I feel like once that’s done I can finally move up properly.

But outside of work/life admin stuff I feel like I’ve kinda lost myself over the years.

Put on weight, gym consistency is gone, motivation comes and goes. My last relationship ended because she wanted an open relationship and ended up cheating on me anyway. Current one also feels like it’s going nowhere. She says her parents probably won’t accept me and keeps saying stuff like I don’t earn more than her so she can’t even speak to her dad about us properly.

And on top of all that I’ve started balding too lmao.

I know some of this probably sounds stupid but when everything adds up together it gets to you. I look around and everyone my age seems to be travelling, dating, getting married, building proper lives while I just feel stuck.

How to get out of this rut ?

Hi all,

I’m preparing for my ILR application under the 10-year route and had a question about the biometrics/document upload stage.

Do I need to upload scanned copies of all passports I’ve ever held, including expired ones? Unfortunately, I no longer have my old passport only my current valid one is in my possession.

Will this be acceptable, or should I be taking additional steps to explain the missing passport?

Appreciate any guidance thanks!