Do I forgive my ex best friend for sleeping with my fiancé.
OK this is a lot. And sounds ridiculous but please I need advice. Please note
I’m also trying to make a long story short
Ok so when I was 15 I dated a 21 year old female (I am too female) somehow we managed to stay together until I was about 20. There was a lot of neglect and abuse and DV that I didn’t know was DV. To me I thought it was just how these relationships are. When I was 20 my best friend of 3 years came to visit me. She became close with my fiancé (we got engaged when I was 19) and noticed more of the abuse was happening and I became more aware it wasn’t ok or normal. My friend knew about some of it and after some time I noticed they always spent time together and left me out even though I lived with my fiancé. I got so heavily neglected and after many other clues I realised they were being sus and deep down I knew she was cheating.
When friend finally moved out (she didn’t even live in the same state as us and did not have a return flight home but kept telling me she couldn’t afford it. But she was secretly shipping her stuff over to our house)
When she finally moved because I was acting too crazy according to them- I was telling them I didn’t like how they acted and I kept asking fiancé for reassurance.
Eventually, it led to my ex breaking up with me and lots of more DV because I had nowhere to go and then by the end of it she confessed to me that she had been cheating on me for a while. This was years ago and really traumatic and I went through a lot to get better.
But a few nights ago she reached out and told me my ex had slept with a 17 year old (she’s now 30) and also action is being taken from my ex friend who dated her.
Anyway she’s begged me for forgiveness, said she was young and stupid. And she too has been cheated on and abused by ex.
I sent her many voice messages expressing that I was hurt and I can’t forgive her. And i reiterated everything she did to me and put me though I didn’t sugar coat shut. I expressed how her apology wasn’t genuine and this wasn’t a small thing to apologise for. I said so much.
She was nothing but kind and understanding and apologetic. She still wants to try with me to be friends and work through things.
I don’t kno what to do. I’ve expressed don’t think I can. Yet part of me misses my best friend. But I don’t know if I could trust her and I’m so conflicted 😭
Second try or let her go? 😭