u/BatmanDriving

I'm so ashamed. I can't quit by myself. I don't know what to do next. See, I quit last year around March. Then I went through a hard death and three knee surgeries. Around November or December, I ran out of pain meds and was hurting. It started being just pseudo here and there. Never got WDs from it, but it never hit like 7oh did. As most of you know, what started out as one tablet increased to where now I take 8 to 12 tabs a day. $40-$100 a day. And I have just now gotten months behind on most of my important bills. I'm scared out of my mind. I have Suboxone, and I've taken it but it makes things worse so I don't take it. The reason I'm saying I can't do this by myself is because I feel like something is wrong with me bc I cannot quit on my own. Even with Suboxone. I feel helpless right now. Suicidal idelations but I'm scared to die. I don't wanna go to hell. I wanna go to heaven to be with Jesus, my granny and my daddy and others. I'm a 38 year old still living with his mom, bc of all the health issues I've had. I just don't know what to do. I don't have health insurance right now because I'm $700 behind on it.

I feel like I need to go to detox. I feel like this addiction is much more than just 7oh now. But I have no money and like I said my health insurance is suspended. If I go to detox, I wanna keep my phone too.

Does anyone have any suggestions and advice? I'm in South Georgia USA.

Today's my last dose.

Was taking 500mg plus per day.

Would wake up right when my smoke shop opened to get first four tab pack. Would take all four tabs at once. Then around six pm, i would take another four tab pack. Each pack would run me $35. I have spent so much money on this stuff. Neglected bills. I have lied to get money from family and friends. I'm so ashamed. I took my last dose at 530pm eastern today.

If I was you, id go listen to Daddy's DNA by Brandon Lake. That song broke me today.

I have 8mg strips of Suboxone. Don't know if I'll use them yet. I'm so nervous and anxious on withdrawals. I hope this time I can truly completely stop. I'm so ashamed.

Has anyone died from just 7oh? Is it just the fact that people just don't make enough money to use the habit? Like all the stories I've heard so far is that people just lose money, and that withdrawal symptoms happen when you don't take it. I'm just very concerned bc I'm currently taking it and it helps me tremendously, and yes it's expensive but like I just don't get the bad vibes it gets

Over a year ago, I was able to quit 7oh with Suboxone. I got off Suboxone within a month. Was free from 7oh. Then over the course of the year, I went through death in family, and three knee surgeries. Went through a suicide attempt and stayed at a safe house for a week. I ran out of my pain medicine from surgeries. I started back with pseudo bc I was in pain. But pseudo never did me like 7oh did. So it started slow, and now I'm addicted to 7oh again. Taking between 4 and 9 pills a day of it. So mg wise.... probably between 240mg and 550mg of 7oh. I have spent so much money trying to keep up. Never have enough money to do anything else. Have lied to get money. I feel awful. I have some Suboxone strips but honestly I took one strip and it didn't do me like it did before. I'm not sure exactly what to do now to get off this stuff. Please help.