I’ve developed feelings for my roommate’s friend, and I genuinely don’t know if I should say something or just leave it alone.
For context, my roommate became close friends with this guy (I’ll call him D) around Thanksgiving 2025. Because D started coming over a lot, I naturally started hanging out with him and the rest of their friend group too. Over the past few months, my roommate and I have also become really close friends ourselves, which is part of why I’m scared of making things awkward.
About a month ago, D and I started spending a little time one-on-one. A couple times we stayed up all night in my room playing games on our Nintendo DSs, laughing and messing around. Another time, my roommate and I were at D’s house and he showed me meaningful childhood items in his room and told me stories behind them. We just talked for a long time, and it felt unexpectedly personal.
At first everything felt innocent, aside from one flirty comment I made implying I wanted to kiss him. Eventually he started sleeping in my bed sometimes. The first time nothing happened physically. The second and third times things escalated, and I was actually the one who initiated it both times.
The complicated part is that D kind of has a reputation as the “fuck boy” of the friend group. He cheated on his ex and is known for being a player, so I genuinely never thought he liked me romantically. He also never made a move on me first. He told me he avoided crossing boundaries unless I initiated.
We’ve only actually hooked up once, and since then we really don’t text or hang out alone. We mostly only see each other in group settings. Sometimes he does things that feel like mixed signals, but I honestly can’t tell if I’m overthinking everything.
The issue is that I’ve realized my feelings for him go beyond physical attraction, and now I don’t know what to do. Is it even worth telling him how I feel, or should I just keep it to myself? I’m also scared of jeopardizing the friend group dynamic because I genuinely value my friendship with my roommate and everyone else involved.
I should also mention that apparently everyone in the group knows what happened between us. My roommate isn’t exactly thrilled about it, but he’s basically said we’re adults and can make our own choices.