Does anyone else remember possible childhood Trauma in 3rd person?
I’m 18F and I’ve been really confused about a childhood memory for a while now. I’m almost completely sure I experienced SA by a neighbor when I was very young. The thing is, I didn’t even realize it was SA until I was around 15. Before that I just kind of ignored it or didn’t understand what it meant.
Another thing that confuses me is that when I was a kid, I used to be extremely scared of my dad for no clear reason. We moved away from that neighborhood when I was around 3 years old, so most of my memories from that age are blurry. I barely remember my childhood except for a few primary school memories, and then suddenly my memory kind of jumps to 6th grade and lockdown.
What makes this harder is that the memory I have is in 3rd person perspective, not first person. Because of that, there’s this tiny part of me wondering if maybe it wasn’t actually me and maybe I somehow imagined it from hearing something somewhere as a kid. But at the same time, I’m like 99.99% sure it did happen to me.
After lockdown I changed a lot as a person and became way more outgoing/social, almost like I reconnected with parts of myself from childhood. But this memory still keeps bothering me and I honestly don’t know what to do with it or how to make sense of it.
Has anyone else experienced memories like this, especially in 3rd person? How do you deal with not being fully sure about something from early childhood?