This is a new me.
Can you and I just talk for a little bit and see where it goes after?
I deleted what I was originally had put down. I don't want to argue or fight. This is why I deleted what I had originally typed down. The reason I deleted is because it would most likely have cause or started one. Every time I start typing and then I think about it, it goes against wanting to not fight or argue so I just delete it because it's not what I want. I just want us to have a normal conversation. One where we just talk about random things and just talk like two normal people.
I think about you a lot. What you're up to. What have you been doing. What are you having for dinner. How your job is going(I honestly don't know if you're working or not), hoping you're drinking lots of water, and hoping you stop drinking redbulls/monsters/soda(at least cut back on it as a start). I hope you also cut back on something else because(it'll sound bad if I put it on here). I guess coffee is ok but hoping it's in moderation since you drink the other stuff all in the same day. I do care about you. That part has always been true and want you to be healthy as least as much as you can. I do remember I asked you if you would go to the gym with me if I asked and you said yeah. I hope that was true. I was going to say something else but it's better if I don't because that would say that you did something wrong. I'm just tired of pointing fingers at each other. I'm tired of the way things are between us.
I do have an idea you're watching the world cup since there are watch parties in the city you live/lived in and some of the matches were there or the next city over which isn't too far. I honestly don't know if you still live there. A part of me believes you are because it's just like your phone number when you said you had that number forever and can't part ways with it. That city is most likely the same in regards to not being able to part ways with it.
I know I've said this before and the first time I didn't really mean it. I realize that now. Time apart and not hearing your voice or others advice on what to do cleared my head. This second time, I really reflected and I really mean it this time. I am different now. A lot has happened at least in my growing and it's been a journey since we last spoke and I mean really spoke. After all that it was too tense/hot to where that's all we talked about or it would always lead back to that and we needed to cool down. Honestly, turning 30 helped a lot and I think differently now. I will say this though there are things that we could have done better. That's all I am going to say. Nothing more and nothing less. What would you want to hear from me? What words can get through to you regarding that? I'm not trying to get you to understand my feelings. This is me trying to reconnect. I don't care who is right or wrong anymore. I don't care about what were lies and what were truths. I moved past all that and there are some things I will never know.
This is a new me. I would like to show you. However, there is one thing that is still there. It's that sliver of hope. I don't know if you feel it to or if it's still inside. Maybe you can feel my thoughts of you somehow. That connection. That's all I'm going to say or mention.
What do you say?