Rant: I fear I’m turning into a bridezilla because I don’t want my friend to talk about her wedding.
Throwaway.
My friend, Mary, and I are similar ages and cultural backgrounds. We have been friends for years and text/hang out often.
I got engaged about a year and a half ago and our wedding is set for October this year. Before I got engaged, I’d tell her what kind of ring I wanted and she’s share hers too and it was a nice way to share our hopes and bond. Since I got engaged, nearly every conversation, either in text or call, is about how she’s planning her wedding, how it’s so stressful, how she’s navigating so many things. The thing is, she’s not even engaged. She has a date planned and is actively looking for vendors but she’s not engaged. I’m getting married this year and any time I try to share anything about how I’m feeling or what I’m doing the conversation just shifts to her. Once she even told me not to show her what sort of decor I was doing so that it doesn’t influence her wedding.
Now even mutual friends have been told about her wedding. It just feels like, I don’t know, somehow she’s overshadowing me? That she gets soo long to plan and talk about her wedding but I only get this year. After this I don’t want to be the person constantly bringing up her wedding which would be in the past. I’m not saying her wedding won’t happen, 99% it will, which makes it even more annoying because she can be the “bride” then. But at the same time, she’s excited and I don’t want to be like “just focus on me!” But that’s exactly how I feel. I want the focus on me this year and then she can have her two extra years where she’s the bride to be.
The thing is, when I share my frustrations with my mum or partner they’re like “why do you even need to share things with her?” Or just tell me to let it go. Which makes me think I’m overreacting. It’s getting to the point where I actively avoid talking to her just so I don’t have to listen to her talk about her wedding. I kind of don’t even want to invite her to the wedding so that I avoid her talking about her own wedding there.
On the flip side, my other friend is also engaged and I enjoy talking to her about all things wedding related because she’s also getting married within a month of me and we’ve been able to go to expos and find similar things (some the same because we apparently share the same vision). But there really shouldn’t be a time limit on when someone’s wedding is I guess?