u/Beautiful-Glass3711

Hi everyone,

About two weeks ago i reached a very low point in my mental health/ anorexia becoming a very low weight and very depressed, i had had some therapies in the past but had run out of nhs funded sessions and was left to my own devices and now am trying to get better on my own for the 1000th time.

This is the most iv ever stuck to not over exercising, counting exact calories and letting myself eat freely in years and it’s making me half excited to get better but also half terrified because it seems everyday im eating more and more to feel satisfied.

in the first week i was eating between 1800-2300 calories a day (not exact as im not weighing food etc) but at the end of this second week the number is creeping up into the 3000-4000 range and im worried ill never ever stop increasing and achieve a healthy level of eating and go right back into binging and be obese again and be stuck in this cycle.

Does anyone have any experience of being a much bigger person, becoming very unhealthily thin and then actually getting to a healthy weight and having a good relationship with food, bonus points if you have any illness that effects food (im type one diabetic) i just need son reassurance that this is ok and the right thing to do…

Hi All,

iv just taken my first dose of fluoxetine (20mg) and am feeling nervous. i actually made an appointment today, spoke to the doctor on the phone and picked up the pills all within a couple hours so it was quite fast. Iv put it off for a while but im glad i did it.

iv been struggling with depression and anxiety, however the anxiety manifests itself in a way similar to anorexia in that i use food restriction and exercise as a way to control the anxiety/unstable feelings which has lead to being severely underweight so i’m not sure if it will help with that aspect but the doc said we can give it a go.

i’m wondering if anyone can give me any insight, advice or experience they think would be helpful. I don’t have any friends or relationships so i wanted to share also to ease some anxiety in me.

Thank you guys :)

Title is a joke, but it was very backrooms-esque!

I’m a frequent flyer when it comes to nightmares and iv had ones that are much more gorey/scary/painful than this, but for some reason this one gives me a chill whenever i think about it.

This happened earlier this morning. I had woken around 4am to greet my housemate as he came in from his night shift, we talked for around 20 minutes and then i went back to sleep. Leading up to the main event was an average weird dream for me, i’d been flitting between scenarios, all a little frightening, for example i remember at one point i was out very early in the morning like 3/4am and felt like someone was going to attack me if i didn’t get home, i then ended up in a cave like place where giants were trying to kill me and i had to pull a big stone wall around myself so they couldn’t reach me, when i had this wall around me is when things got weird.

Sitting in the space between the cave and my wall i think i realised i was dreaming, this has never happened before. After this realisation the wall is pulled over me opened like a hand and i found myself in an massive room with high white walls and ceilings, the floor was made of red and blue bouncy castle and there were walls of the same material about head height making lanes about 5ft wide that went on for an unspecified length, i was in the one furthest to the wall as the wall on one side of me was the white smooth stone. everything felt a lot calmer than the dream id been having previously and i got happy knowing that i was dreaming, i said out loud “cool, im going to try and fly” i stood up and began bouncing towards the left of the room, i couldn’t make myself fly and was just bouncing in place feeling dispirited but still enjoying my time, then i turned my head and just ahead of me on the other side of the bouncy castle wall was …me. this didn’t scare me, i was still messing around and jokingly bounced over to the wall that was separating us which was suddenly only around waist height. She was slightly turned away from me but mirroring my bouncing at the same rate and height. I came right up to the wall and said in a jokey/jolly way “hi Olivia!”, and that was a mistake i guess.

This other me turned to be totally facing me and came to a complete stop and said in a mocking voice copying me “Hi Olivia” and the face completely shifted, like it still looked like me but it just felt evil to look at and i had the worst sense of panic and dread drop over me which was a complete contrast to a second ago. The panic grew as i realised she was moving towards me. i turned and tried to get away but i could only move as if really trying to run in a bouncy castle and trying to scream gave me that familiar feeling of trying to scream in a dream only to sound like you have a bad throat. i knew in my mind though i had to scream to get out of this, and i did.

I woke up at around 6.30am, screaming loudly and very disoriented. I was so panicked i thought about waking my housemate for company haha.

i have dreams where im disemboweled and it’s as if i can actually feel the pain, and most weeks have dreams that im being chased, attacked, doing something unspeakable to someone or something, but for some reason this one’s still got me scared to think about hours later. The only thing i can compare it to is another dream i had as a kid a few times which in short had me see someone so terrifying looking all i could do was freeze and cover my face so i couldn’t see her, but on waking i could never remember what she looked like. Just the sheer feeling of bad intent when she turned to me has my chest fluttering. and i needed to get it out so i thought id share.

Thanks!