I actually want to cry. A guy I see in the gym sometimes sees me and my boyfriend go to McDonald’s together and he asked me if my boyfriend was my son. I don’t even eat at McDonald’s I just get a diet soda and he gets a meal etc because it’s something we can do together etc etc. This really hurt me
I’m trying to recover but EH hit me like a truck. All I do is eat. My foodnoise have never been worse. I’m scared and I feel so out of control. Anyone on the other side that can provide some stories on when this horrible state that I’m in will subside? Any tips to get to the other side?
I used to have an ED where i was super restrictive and i didn’t eat anything starved myself all day. My mom noticed and helped me out of it and i started eating more. I maintained a healthy weight and balanced weight for a year until this year i started gaining a bit of tummy, eating more and i got some fat on my stomach and a bit of a double chin. I gained maybe a total of 3 kilos but the changes on my body are noticeable. At first my mom kept telling me that i was a little pig or i was a little fat as a joke or im really lazy and i have to go to the gym. It was harmless at first but when she realized i was actually getting fat she compared me to athletes and said “they eat so much” but they’re so skinny unlike you. She keeps grabbing at me on areas where i gained weight and she keeps commenting on my body every single day. I cried really hard about it today because she refused to let me eat more when i said i wanted to. She kept saying how fat i was and taking unflattering pictures of me and saying “look you’re so fat” or oh you’re getting thicker. I’m so upset and i don’t know what to do because i don’t understand how she would want me to recover while still shaming me when i gain a little weight. I have no idea what to do and i’ve told her to stop or ignored her and told her that she makes me upset but she refuses to stop. She says i shouldn’t get too fat and constantly judges how i eat. I don’t know what to do.
i’m about 4.5 weeks into residential. I wasn’t underweight when i got here but close-ish.
I have 100% meal plan compliance, which in theory is good, but it makes me feel like my body is failing me due to the strong hunger signals I get while almost nobody else here has meal plan compliance or they talk about how full they feel. its so confusing and stressful because why do i restrict so heavily at home but feel like i can’t here?? Anyways, my weight has been going up quite a bit over the last 4.5 weeks and i’ve definitely been feeling it and seeing it on my body which is incredibly stressful in itself, but this morning i woke up and my my skin hurts and i feel bruised all over. i also just feel super swollen in my mid section all of a sudden. yesterday the waistband on my pants felt normal, but today it feels super tight. i feel like i totally ballooned. Ive definitely noticed fat gain over the weeks, but this feels different. I already have incredibly severe sensory issues that i’ve dealt with my whole life and this is making that worse as well :(
i know it's also common for some people to feel really full in recovery, but i'm more talking about the people who deal with extreme hunger like myself :)