Comparison and seeking permission
Little rant and maybe asking for an advice.....
Does anyone have tips for constantly seeking permission in everything and everyone? I am two weeks in on my 3rd recovery attempt and each time I feel like i NEED permission to eat, or to increase my intake etc, and I always find something to compare myself with. Funny enough it is never weight or looks in general, but behaviours, or how fast someone's recovery went, how much others eat, how fast they increased etc. I also constantly browse online to "reassure" myself that i can eat certain amount or how my weight gain should go. It's so stupid because my thick skull does not trust what my doctors and family say, but a random post from anon profile that says some BS gets me. I know that i should distract myself, quit social media and most importantly- never compare myself because every human body has different needs, but i still somehow find a way to beat myself up because "what if I recover too fast??" what if what if what if. it is driving me crazy.