u/Alarming-Cicada6663

i’m about 4.5 weeks into residential. I wasn’t underweight when i got here but close-ish.
I have 100% meal plan compliance, which in theory is good, but it makes me feel like my body is failing me due to the strong hunger signals I get while almost nobody else here has meal plan compliance or they talk about how full they feel. its so confusing and stressful because why do i restrict so heavily at home but feel like i can’t here?? Anyways, my weight has been going up quite a bit over the last 4.5 weeks and i’ve definitely been feeling it and seeing it on my body which is incredibly stressful in itself, but this morning i woke up and my my skin hurts and i feel bruised all over. i also just feel super swollen in my mid section all of a sudden. yesterday the waistband on my pants felt normal, but today it feels super tight. i feel like i totally ballooned. Ive definitely noticed fat gain over the weeks, but this feels different. I already have incredibly severe sensory issues that i’ve dealt with my whole life and this is making that worse as well :(

currently in residential and have been for 3 weeks now. everyone here talks about how full they get and how food sits in their stomach like a rock, but that doesn’t happen for me at all… it feels like it’s going straight through me even though i’m eating multiple thousand calories a day. Sometimes i’ll get an extra “exchange” worth when i pick my snacks and it always makes me feel so guilty and like an imposter. I know it comes with its own struggles but i wish i got full quickly and all of that stuff. I’m struggling so so so bad with body image and seeing my body change. i wake up crying and go to bed crying and that’s a big reason why, yet my body makes me keep eating and eating and it’s so stressful

i know it's also common for some people to feel really full in recovery, but i'm more talking about the people who deal with extreme hunger like myself :)

i started residential 5 days ago and my first day here was okay, but since then i’ve been getting extreme amounts of hunger cues and it’s giving me a lot of anxiety. i’m getting full hunger pangs in my stomach and it’s miserable, but i feel embarrassed and ashamed of asking for more food on top of what im already eating, which is twice the amount i used to. i’m eating double the amount i used to and im doing an 1/8th of the movement but im experiencing this
hunger more than before. I feel embarrassed and feel like an imposter feeling like i need more food because I don’t want it. at all. especially when it feels like most of the people here either aren’t finishing their food or aren’t even touching it. i’m also a normal weight. i feel like what ive been eating is already too many calories. but i’m also tired of feeling this way and idk what to do.

I don’t see the dietitian for a few days but i’ll talk to her then. If you were me what would you do for now?

I almost panic at any sign of hunger during recovery (i’ve tried to recover from my aan so many times before) for some reason when i’m restricting i’m able to shut off the hunger and push it away, but it just doesn’t work the same way during recovery. I think the high amounts of exercise I was doing was mostly to burn calories but it also gave me a more powerful physical discomfort than the hunger. it’s so scary because it’s such an uncomfortable feeling. Even though im hungry, i’m gaining weight. At the same time, even though i’m hungry, i see food, think about the calories, and then think about what consuming those calories means. it feels like my biology is fighting with my thoughts and i don’t know what to do. I also find it almost embarrassing to admit that i’m hungry. we have HS snack at 8 and then don’t go to bed until 9:30-10 so im just laying awake thinking about food. usually when this happens at home ill chew gum but i can’t have that here. its SO conflicting. my body wants food but I don’t.

not even just in terms of food and meals and stuff. EVERYTHING! i’m admitting next week for atypical ana and im so nervous and have no idea what to expect.

I know everywhere and everyone is different, but anything is helpful!

not even just in terms of food and meals and stuff.
EVERYTHING! i'm admitting next week for atypical ana and im so nervous and have no idea what to expect.

I know everywhere and everyone is different, but anything is helpful!

not even just in terms of food and meals and stuff.
EVERYTHING! i'm admitting next week for atypical ana and im so nervous and have no idea what to expect.

I know everywhere and everyone is different, but anything is helpful!

not even just in terms of food and meals and stuff. EVERYTHING! i’m admitting next week for atypical ana and im so nervous and have no idea what to expect.

I know everywhere and everyone is different, but anything is helpful!

i’m admitting next week and i have so many questions and im also just really curious on others experiences!🙃

i’m admitting next week and i have so many questions and im also just really curious on others experiences!🙃

this feels like picking a college lol

this feels like picking a college lol

this feels like picking a college lol

i've dealt with atypical ana for about 3.5 years now with bouts of recovery in between. i've never been underweight but at my absolute lowest weight there was a period of like a month where you could just... tell... if that makes sense. Even then, I was technically eating an amount of calories that could be considered normal for my body type, just very rigidly and was eating the exact same thing every single day with lots of abnormal behaviors.

i'm in a relapse right now but rather than heavy restriction my "strategy" is a ton of over exercising because my body just doesn't let me restrict calorically the way I used to be able to.

I've been in a relapse since about April - May but it didn't start taking over my life again until around late June. I have lost weight but i'm definitely not at my lowest weight. That said, mentally, I think I might be in the worst place i've been in throughout all of this and part of it is because I don't look sick at all. I'm putting myself through hell and doing almost nothing but exercising all day just to look... normal. "Better" some might even say, compared to my natural body.

My body type is naturally short and quite stout/ muscular and I know no matter how much weight I lose I will never look emaciated the way I "want" to... yet I keep chasing it for some reason

i've dealt with atypical ana for about 3.5 years now with bouts of recovery in between. i've never been underweight but at my absolute lowest weight there was a period of like a month where you could just... tell... if that makes sense. Even then, I was technically eating an amount of calories that could be considered normal for my body type, just very rigidly and was eating the exact same thing every single day with lots of abnormal behaviors.

i'm in a relapse right now but rather than heavy restriction my "strategy" is a ton of over exercising because my body just doesn't let me restrict calorically the way I used to be able to.

I've been in a relapse since about April - May but it didn't start taking over my life again until around late June. I have lost weight but i'm not definitely not at my lowest weight. That said, mentally, I think I might be in the worst place i've been in throughout all of this and part of it is because I don't look sick at all. I'm putting myself through hell and doing almost nothing but exercising all day just to look... normal. "Better" some might even say, compared to my natural body.

My body type is naturally short and quite stout/ muscular and I know no matter how much weight I lose I will never look emaciated the way I "want" to... yet I keep chasing it for some reason