r/EatingDisorders

I feel very lost. She was playing a sport her whole life, stopped to focus on school and decided she needed to eat healthier and a month later she now has a diagnosis. And I really don’t know what to do now — I’m not sure if I’m supposed to talk about it or not? I don’t know how to act about food, or if there’s something I can do that would be helpful beyond telling her I support her and am here for her, which I already have through a lot of tears.

- Does anyone have any advice on books worth reading?
- Is there any advice on how to talk about food? I have the doctor’s advice but it’s essentially just sit with her and watch her eat and it feels like there has to be more to it than that.
- Is there something I shouldn’t do?
- Just honestly any advice or anything anyone could point me to to help would be truly appreciated. She’s always been my best friend and this is killing me inside feeling like I can’t help.

hi! ive never been officially diagnosed with an eating disorder, but i often go without eating for extended periods of time and have been struggling to maintain a healthy weight since i was a teenager.

im now in my twenties and am still struggling. i mostly have little to no appetite and will eat large amounts sporadically between fasts, sort of like a teenage boy lol but its not healthy and im definitely underweight for my height and gender (im a tall girl).

this is my first post in this subreddit but i thought ppl might have some helpful tips for eating more? i’ve been wanting to gain a bit of (healthy) weight for almost a year now and have not been able to hit my goal.

I am a 27-year-old woman who has been training consistently for the past 12 years—mainly strength training mixed with cardio, alongside a weekly group cycling class for the last 5 years.
When I was 16, I was treated for anorexia. Things improved slightly over a couple of years, but after moving out on my own, I slid into a pattern of heavy exercise paired with rigid, highly controlled eating. Over time, I developed a chew and spit (C&S) habit that has progressively escalated.
The hardest part about this is my outward appearance. To anyone looking at me, I look like a girl who just loves fitness and has a healthy relationship with food. I don't look underweight; I look strong and fit. But underneath, the control is absolute. I haven't had a period in 10 years (except for a one-year window when I was on antidepressants and gained some weight despite my rigid routine, but it disappeared again as soon as I stopped the medication).
I have sought help multiple times through primary care, receiving referrals for CBT, psychologists, and psychodynamic therapy. Yet, I can't seem to break free. The need for control is overwhelming.
Now to my main question. I want honest feedback on the "math" I run in my head. I have an automatic equation running constantly: I start with a low baseline requirement for my day, and then I slowly add a small allowance based on my daily step count and workout duration. After calculating that total, I almost always subtract a chunk of food just to be on the "safe side." I have a desk job, but I walk a lot and train regularly.
My C&S behavior has gotten much worse over the last two years, and I am now trying to stop completely. I’ve managed 2 days without it so far, which is rare for me. I’m thinking about adding a modest amount of food back into my daily routine to see if my body feels better and if I can regain some energy.
My weight has been completely stable on what I currently eat, but I’m wondering: is this my actual maintenance, or has my body just adapted to chronic restriction? What will actually happen to my body if I start adding a bit more food every day?
Over the past year, my body has sustained multiple injuries—4 in my legs and 2 in my back. I am getting physical therapy, but nothing is healing. I have no period and zero sex drive. Training is currently my main motivation to actually eat; I prioritize eating larger meals around my workouts, but I keep things extremely restrictive during the day so I can have a larger evening meal. Saving my food for the evening feels like a "release" where I can finally relax, though still within very controlled boundaries.
Has anyone been in a similar spot with chronic injuries, amenorrhea, and hidden restriction while appearing "healthy"? What should I expect when I start eating more?
If you'd like to adjust any specific phrasing or want suggestions on which subreddits would be most supportive for this, just let me know.

I’m not necessarily seeking advice but I didn’t know what tag to use. My boyfriend made a comment that my jeans are “getting tighter” and patted my stomach. He laughed and said he was just teasing me and I know he meant no harm but the truth is I’ve been feeling super insecure and I’m super sad. I have gained a few pounds but I know I am thin, I still wear a size small so I’m trying not to spiral. I just feel like a cry baby. Ugh.