u/Striking_Beach_837

hii, this might sound kind of stupid or delusional, but I genuinely don’t really have anyone I feel comfortable talking to about this.

I really like Alix Earle and have followed her for a while. I mostly watch her TikToks/Instagram and, as a uni student, I find some of her content weirdly relatable being a bit messy, going out, partying, getting ready with friends, etc. I also use her as outfit/beauty inspo a lot.

But lately I’ve noticed that some of it has started affecting me in a way I don’t really like. She’s talked about struggling with an ED and severely restricting food in the past, and now she’s extremely skinny. She claims she's not on a diet but we all know how influencers are. Then her comments are ALWAYS full of people saying things like “it’s snowing,” “she’s skiing,”, basically implying coke/amphetamine use. Obviously, I have no idea whether she actually does drugs and I don’t want to claim that she does. She might as well be on a very strict diet or use stuff like ozempic. But the real problem is that instead of those comments putting me off, they’ve somehow made me curious about trying drugs.

I live somewhere where getting substances is pretty easy and drug use isn’t heavily stigmatized. I’ve also gained some weight recently and I’ve been feeling really awful and insecure about my body. For quite a while now I’ve had this thought in the back of my head of using some kind of stimulant/drug partly because I want to lose weight.

I KNOW logically how stupid that sounds.

Has anyone else experienced this?

I've noticed a lot of people recently complaining about the podcast and the way Alex Cooper is handling the Matt drama. From what I've noticed in the last few episodes, especially the pregnancy episode, it feels like Alex is constantly trying to paint Matt as this perfect husband. I honestly feel like she's just trying to protect her own brand that's built around women, feminism, empowerment, etc., because Matt has been accused of treating workers like shit. The fact that he isn't saying anything himself, denying the claims, or even making a simple post or tweet while she's acting like his personal PR team is insane to me. I feel like the old Call Her Daddy is gone. Alex Cooper is obviously a great businesswoman, but I feel like she's getting lost in all the Hollywood money stuff. Her podcast just doesn't feel credible anymore. A lot of interviews come across as PR washing for celebrities caught up in drama (Victoria Beckham is one example). It feels like they're coming on the show just to tell their side of the story or paint themselves as non-problematic, "cool" girls, when we all know it's pure marketing. I honestly feel like Call Her Daddy is dead. Back in the day, listening to it felt like, "Oh, something new. Something fun and helpful''. Now every episode is full of filler sentences, and it feels like someone is writing everything for her so it's the safest, most non-cancellable show possible. It sucks because it used to be literally the best podcast I've ever listened to, but now it just feels like another Vogue interview. I miss when she did episodes like the abortion episode, answered real questions, and talked about difficult subjects. I'm not saying she has to talk about sex 24/7, but open conversations about sex and female issues were literally her brand. She could do interviews with doulas, talk about pregnancy issues, how to deal with anxiety instead of just briefly saying, "Uh, I'm anxious," or actually get into the fear of postpartum. There's so much she could talk about that's still meaningful instead of all this PR-curated Matt-defending BS. It used to be a podcast for women now it's a PR laundromat for millionaires and A-listers.

okej, to może być kontrowersyjny i trochę dziwny temat, ale mój tata, który ma ponad 50 lat, za każdym razem kiedy przyjeżdża do naszego domu (na co dzień z nami nie mieszka, bo pracuje za granicą), pali marihuanę w ogromnych ilościach. potrafi wychodzić 10 razy dziennie, żeby zapalić przy piaskownicy (mieszkamy w bloku).
Jak miałam 16 lat i pierwszy raz zapaliłam, a on się o tym dowiedział, wyrzucił mnie z domu i wyzywał od ćpunek. teraz przylatuje raz na pół roku i przez kilka tygodni pali praktycznie bez przerwy. właśnie przyjechałam do polski na wakacje po skończonym roku studiów i już nie da się tego wytrzymać. cały czas jest nieobecny i kompletnie nie wie, co się dzieje wokół niego. poza tym uważam, że to straszna hipokryzja, że robi coś, za co wyrzucił mnie z domu na miesiąc, kiedy byłam w liceum. mamy z nim wiele problemów, ale ten akurat jest najbardziej uciążliwy ostatnio. nic do niego nie dociera. kiedy mama zapytała, skąd ma marihuanę, powiedział, że sobie przywiózł i że to jest taka „ekologiczna marihuana”, a nie ten syf, który sprzedają na ulicy w polsce. nie jestem przeciwniczką palenia ani używek ogólnie. każdy niech robi, co chce, dopóki nie przeszkadza innym. problem w tym, że on przeszkadza. wszystko w domu śmierdzi, sąsiedzi patrzą na nas krzywo i wypytują. moja mama nic nie mówi jedynie zapytała, czy nie boi się ze go zatrzyma policja ale powiedział jej ze przecież to jest 'ekologiczne' i policja na pewno go nie zatrzyma, ze on wie co robi. kiedy ostatnio powiedziałam, że mogę sama z nim porozmawiać, stwierdziła, że nie wypada, żeby dziecko zwracało uwagę rodzicowi szczególnie w takiej kwestii.

co o tym sądzicie? co zrobilibyście na moim miejscu? czy mamy to po prostu ignorować? jego zachowanie wpływa też na nas na co dzień. jest rozleniwiony, nie sprząta po sobie i oczekuje, że będziemy wokół niego skakać, podczas gdy on leży zjarany i ogląda seriale. w salonie jest taki syf ze nie da się przejść.

hejka, więc ogólnie mój problem jest dość nietypowy. moja mama wyszła za mojego tatę, który jest w połowie polakiem, w połowie nigeryjczykiem (mój dziadek był z nigerii, babcia polka z krakowa). mam francuskie imię i nigeryjskie nazwisko, bardzo „dziwne” dla polaków i ogólnie ciężkie nawet do wymówienia dla osób zza granicy (studiuję obecnie za granica i tez i nikt nie potrafi go wymówić). lubię swoje imię, ale nazwisko jest tak dziwaczne, ludzie często się z niego śmiali i nie wiem, oczywiście z powodów prywatnych go nie podam, ale naprawdę a-wymaiwalne. ciężkie również w zapisie

jestem polką i kocham polskę, chciałabym mieć polskie nazwisko, ale mam pewien problem. mój tata uważa, że nazwisko to duma i sam o sobie mówi, że jest polakiem i nigeryjczykiem, mówi, że nie jest „typowym kowalskim”, a mi się zawsze marzyło normalne, polskie nazwisko. jak je zmienię, obrazi się i nie będzie się do mnie odzywał, a płaci za moje studia. mama mówi, żebym czekała, aż wyjdę za mąż, ale ja nie chcę czekać na nazwisko po mężu, chcę mieć swoje, plus może wyjdę za mąż w wieku 30 lat. to nazwisko mnie tak denerwuje, delikatnie mówiąc. nienawidzę tego, że polacy kwestionują to, czy jestem polką i zadają mi durne pytania. potem mówią: „o, to jesteś mieszana po połowie!”, a nie jestem. nie jestem polką i nigeryjką, jestem tylko polką. nie chcę się z tego tłumaczyć. nawet lekarz mi powiedział czytając imię na karcie pacjenta : „o, myślałem, że to jakaś ciemniejsza pani przyjdzie z takim egzotycznym imieniem. mogę spytać, skąd pani jest?”. płakać mi się chce już. może dla kogoś to głupie, ale dla mnie nie. aha i dodatkowo mam brata, który oczywiście jest zafascynowany amerykańskimi raperami i myśli, że to jest coooool i że przesadzam, i że to jest fajne, że tata „jest z afryki” (mimo że nie jest, ma tylko afrykańskiego tatę, ale żyje w polsce). mój tata jest też osobą bardzo specyficzną, mówi o korzeniach i kulturze, ale mnie to nie interesuje. nigdy nie byłam i nie będę w nigerii.

chciałabym się dowiedzieć, czy są jakieś sposoby, żeby zmienić nazwisko w polsce na dowolne (nie chcę zmieniać na nazwisko mamy, chyba że będę musiała), czy muszę wyjść za mąż? co byście doradzili osobie w mojej sytuacji? jak to zrobić, żeby tata się nie dowiedział albo jak to w ogóle wytłumaczyć?

hi, i just finished my first year of my bachelor's, and this is what i've learned as an international student in the netherlands. as always, this sub is flooded with questions, and i feel like a lot of first-year students could use my advice!

think twice before renting your room/apartment

I know that housing is insane and a lot of people say 'take whatever you find' they are partly right BUT remember to always double check these things: location, condition of the building, condition of the room/studio. if something suddenly goes wrong, stops working or starts breaking and your landlord doesnt give a damn you can't just leave and get something else like in other countries. my first room was a horror story. full of issues: no hot water for days, mice everywhere because my landlord left multiple holes near the radiators, broken heating, etc. i couldn't leave and spent my first few months stressed, crying, and literally almost giving up.
Also remember that if you're sharing amenities (kitchen, bathroom) you are not eligible for a housing allowance. If you get offered a spot in Xior or other student accommodation- take it.

friends, social life, and learning dutch
a lot of students think that because everyone speaks english to you, you'll find friends easily. not really. a lot of people do not want to become close friends. a lot of friendship ends after first 2 months and most of your interactions will stay at campus level. building a friendship is hard. anyone telling you that you don't need dutch is wrong. you need at least some basics. trust me, you will need it. unless you live in amsterdam, maybe you can get away with using only english for a few years. but outside amsterdam, dutch is helpful. at the very least, do a basic a1 dutch youtube course. it helps a lot.
also, don't expect friendships to develop the same way they might in your home country. people often already have established friend groups, family commitments, and busy schedules. that doesn't mean they dislike you. building friendships can simply take longer.

healthcare
healthcare can be complicated and very different from what many international students are used to. i had a medical emergency and was denied treatment, given paracetamol and cream instead of antibiotics and proper treatment. please learn to advocate for yourself. don't let someone tell you "it will get better", ''take this painkiller'' when you can barely walk or function because of pain. book dental appointments and check-ups in advance as well. also make sure you have proper insurance. getting costs reimbursed through the european health insurance card can be a nightmare if paperwork is done incorrectly. it took me months to sort out because documents were filled out wrong. and please find a huisarts (general practitioner, GP) as soon as you get your BSN number. register immediately. you do not want to have an emergency and discover that no clinic in your area is accepting new patients

this might be exaggerated, but sometimes it feels like hospitals won't see you unless you're actively bleeding. in my home country, if they can't help you, they at least try to refer you somewhere. here, i often felt like i was being sent from clinic to hospital and back to clinic again.

give back to the community! ALWAYS
remember that you are in a foreign country and you are a guest.
besides respecting the laws, try to give something back. volunteer, donate books, help at a church, support a local charity, help elderly people, children, or disabled people if you can. it doesn't have to be anything huge. just contribute something positive.
respect cultural differences

this is mainly aimed at students from outside europe and non-western countries.please respect dutch and western ways of living. i've met people who moved here and constantly complained about things that are simply normal parts of dutch culture.individualism, direct communication, assertiveness, independence, and personal boundaries are all things that can be very different from what you're used to.for example, dutch people may not invite you into their homes immediately, may schedule social activities weeks in advance, may be very direct when giving feedback, and may value personal space and independence much more than what you're used to back home. this doesn't automatically mean they're cold, rude, or dislike you. at the same time, don't expect dutch society to adapt to the norms of your home country. you are the one moving here, so making an effort to understand the culture will make your life much easier.i've seen people complain about things that are completely normal in western europe simply because they're different from what they grew up with. being open-minded goes both ways.

think twice before choosing your degree

i chose international communication, and honestly, i had mixed feelings about it at first.
here is different. it's hard and requires a lot of self-discipline. if you're studying something like business, international law, communication, or marketing, start thinking about internships, networking, and work experience early. the job market can be difficult to enter, especially as an international student. again, learn some dutch. it will help you more than you think. before moving here, ask yourself: are you ready to put in extra work, learn a new language, and build a network from scratch?also, don't stress too much about grades. dutch grading can feel brutal. i got a 7/10 on what i thought was a perfect essay and received almost no negative feedback. getting 8s and 9s is much rarer than many international students expect. i love my degree now, but there was definitely a period when i seriously considered dropping out.

hi im f19 and never had a relationship with my dad. the only thing he's doing is supporting me financially, but we have no emotional or loving relationship. our family dynamics are completely messed up. my dad has been living abroad since i was 10 and comes home every 6 months ( him and my mom are not legally divorced or separated). he never talked to me about anything. never caught me how to drive. he's just a shit role model. the entire family knows he's cheating on my mom. my mom has found multiple pieces of evidence over the years including texts, videos, expensive gifts, and even female underwear in his suitcases multiple times.

because he was never present, and when i was growing up he would ignore me and criticize everything, i just stopped talking to him. i dont want to repeat my moms mistakes, so what are the things/advice u would give your daughter in life when it comes to dating, marriage, finances, buying a car, etc.? just life advice in general. i feel like because of the lack of a loving, supportive father, i did not learn everything, even tho my mom tried her best.

hi, my mom will be visiting me on the 26th which is mother’s day in poland, and we’re going to amsterdam. i wanted to take her out for sushi but i genuinely have no idea where to eat good sushi 😭 tiktok recommendations were kinda mid. my mom likes sushi with tempura / deep fried elements more than very plain traditional sushi, idk how to explain it properly but she likes more “fun” rolls instead of super minimalistic ones. does anyone have recommendations for places like that in amsterdam? also it’s next week so i’d appreciate recommendations where i can maybe still make a reservation in advance 🫶

hi guys, so we need to make a choice about either doing the minor track or the exchange track. I wanna go on exchange. my GPA is 7.0 and I’m planning to do my exchange outside Europe, plus my top 3 choices are all pretty expensive countries with visas, health insurance, and expensive housing, so I’ve been thinking about how students actually do this when they’re already renting a place in the Netherlands?

I would have an indefinite rental agreement, and I was thinking maybe I could sublet it, but would that get me into serious trouble? it’s not student accommodation, just a normal apartment complex. Also, what do dutch/international students usually do with all their clothes and stuff when they go on exchange? if you sublet your place, where do you store everything?

might sound dumb but I genuinely don’t know 😭

Ok quick background: When I was in elementary school (we don’t really have middle school in Poland anymore), I had the best English teacher ever. My mom always pushed me and my brother to study English and take extra classes because she knew it would help us in the future. But this teacher is the reason I actually fell in love with the language.

I heard that my teacher had lived in London once, and somehow that became my dream too. I studied constantly, got straight As, joined competitions, and eventually graduated high school with 100% on my oral English exam and 90% on the written one. I also passed the Cambridge C1 Advanced exam and got into one of the top universities in the Netherlands (and Europe). The UK was originally the dream, but after Brexit it just became too expensive 😭Now I’m doing really well at university, getting great grades, and hoping for a scholarship in the UK or the US one day.

I found where my teacher works now and I know her address. I know it sounds creepy af but my town is super small so everyone knows where you live. Should I write her a leter? What would you like to hear from a student like me? I have no idea what would be appropriate ? Or maybe once I'm back in Poland I should just go visit her? Like knock on the door and talk to her? Or is it better to visit her at school she's currently teaching?

By the way teachers remember this : I see so many posts now about students being rude or impossible to teach, and I know teachers have it really hard. BUT for some of us you genuinely are the motivation.

Ok quick background: When I was in elementary school (we don’t really have middle school in Poland anymore), I had the best English teacher ever. My mom always pushed me and my brother to study English and take extra classes because she knew it would help us in the future. But this teacher is the reason I actually fell in love with the language.

I heard that my teacher had lived in London once, and somehow that became my dream too. I studied constantly, got straight As, joined competitions, and eventually graduated high school with 100% on my oral English exam and 90% on the written one. I also passed the Cambridge C1 Advanced exam and got into one of the top universities in the Netherlands (and Europe). The UK was originally the dream, but after Brexit it just became too expensive 😭Now I’m doing really well at university, getting great grades, and hoping for a scholarship in the UK or the US one day.

I found where my teacher works now and I know her address. I know it sounds creepy af but my town is super small so everyone knows where you live. Should I write her a leter? What would you like to hear from a student like me? I have no idea what would be appropriate ? Or maybe once I'm back in Poland I should just go visit her? Like knock on the door and talk to her? Or is it better to visit her at school she's currently teaching?

By the way teachers remember this : I see so many posts now about students being rude or impossible to teach, and I know teachers have it really hard. BUT for some of us you genuinely are the motivation.

When I was in elementary school (we don’t really have middle school in Poland anymore), I had the best English teacher ever. My mom always pushed me and my brother to study English and take extra classes because she knew it would help us in the future. But this teacher is the reason I actually fell in love with the language.

I hated school most of the time. I had no friends, teachers saw me as smart but a “opinionated/ stubborn ” girl because I had opinions and didn’t want to be bullied. But that one teacher. Miss. Malgorzata she liked me. She was fair, smart, amazing class management skills. She was such a genuinely amazing person.

I started spending hours studying English outside of school. Mostly through YouTube. I know people complain a lot about screen time for kids now haha, but honestly YouTube kind of saved me when I was in 5th/6th grade (around 11–12). I’m actually grateful my mom didn’t fully listen to the whole “no screens ever” parenting discourse 😭

I heard that my teacher had lived in London once, and somehow that became my dream too. I studied constantly, got straight As, joined competitions, and eventually graduated high school with 100% on my oral English exam and 90% on the written one. I also passed the Cambridge C1 Advanced exam and got into one of the top universities in the Netherlands (and Europe). The UK was originally the dream, but after Brexit it just became too expensive 😭Now I’m doing really well at university, getting great grades, and hoping for a scholarship in the UK or the US one day.

I’m most grateful to my mom for pushing me to learn English in the first place, but the passion definitely came from that teacher. If I ever run into her again in my small hometown, I’m going to tell her all of this.

I see so many posts now about students being rude or impossible to teach, and I know teachers have it really hard. But I just want to say: for some of us you genuinely motivate us.

I understand that dutch people want to spend time with other dutch people or people who speak their language but whats wrong with international students not wanting to build friendships? was it always like this? I feel like studying in The Netherlands is killing my social spirit lol. there is no campus culture so I thought people will organise things on their own. campuses offer nothing, I've been in 4 associations and its all shit. I did not make any friends and im very talkative. I never had issues with meeting new people. Everyone is 'busy' staying at home and doing nothing. Mind you, im studying communications not rocket science so I expected people will have more free time. I asked around and all of my friends are just staying at home, cooking and watching movies. Whats wrong with this generation of students? The only friend I made is this one dutch girl who introduced me to her friends. they are all dutch. if it wasn't for them I would barely leave my room. im so disappointed and honestly regret not choosing other country like Italy or spain.
What is the problem? I feel like we should make as many friends as possible, create our friend groups as we are all in a different country. university is so boring. there is literally nothing to do. I did not expect huge campus culture and games like in the us but they could at least start organizing stuff for internationals. and yes I know going out is expensive but we dont have to hit clubs and restaurants every weekend. also there's this issue where people stoped wanting to go to parties (even free entry ones) and everyone is acting like they are 60 years old ''too old' for this'. everyone is complaining about Dutches being closed off but internationals are way worse. I hate it here. I wanna finish this degree.

Hejka, za rok chciałabym zrobić staż wakacyjny w Polsce. Studiuje w Holandii - International Communication and Media. Jak w Polsce szuka się stażu na wakacje? Oferty, które widziałam w tym roku były na kilka miesięcy, albo od razu na rok. Gdzie studenci szukają stażu na wakacje? Czy to jest w ogóle popularna praktyka, czy staże są głównie 6 miesięcy+. Na LinkedIn nie widziałam zbyt wielu opcji.

Hi! I’m thinking about securing an internship for next summer. I’ll already have a mandatory one through my university (I study international communication), but I’d like to do something extra as well. I've heard it's best to look for them few months in advance so I wanna start in December/January. I’m interested in areas like global/strategic communication, PR, business communication, or international relations. I’m not  into social media roles (like managing TikTok/Instagram accounts).The problem is I’m not really sure where to look. Is LinkedIn the main place for this? Or do people also message companies directly / apply through company websites? For context, I’m Polish so no visa needed.

hii, i’m an international student with only two friends and would like to meet more people. i have joined multiple group chats for girls looking for friends in rotterdam/amsterdam, but not many hangouts have actually happened. i would like to find out what are some places that i (and possibly my other friend) could go to meet other students and have some fun. i’m talking clubs, pubs just places where students hang out. i have lived in rotterdam for 8 months and have only been to esn parties and munch.