r/AskDad

There hasn’t been an hour he’s kept quiet he talks NON STOP for HOURS AND HOURS ABOUT MONEY AND MONEU AND WORK AND JOB AND IM TIRED. I literally feel like crying because he won’t shut up for a min I get headaches. He doesn’t care if I’m eating or drinking or literally doing anything he will talk and talk and talk and talk forever I’m SICK OF IT. It’s suffocating me HOW DO I DEAL WITH HIM. I literally started isolating myself in my room because I can’t even drink a cup of coffee without him going on for hours I can’t watch tv I can’t chew my food because he stops me mid eating I can’t do anything he won’t shut up I don’t wanna tell him to shut up i don’t wanna hurt him but this is INSANE HE WONT SHUT UP FOR A MIN HES GOT ENDLESS WORDS I DONT GET PEACE UNLESS I LOCK MYSELF IN MY ROOM .

Oh great and wise dads of the world, what is a tip you would give to a newish dad with a daughter?

I have a 7month old daughter and have been trying my absolute best to just be present and engage with her when ever I am not working.

I haven’t really thought too much into the future but a conversation sparked some thoughts at work today about her growing up and the things as men we would struggle to understand what they’re going through.

Just wanted to get some tips from dads that have had their daughters all grow up now or still in progress, what tips or wisdom could you give me?

Thank you

Hiya! I’m 16 and my dad will never be in my life. How does one go about shaving down.. there? Products, what not to do..? Much thanks!

I’m struggling to process a very complicated situation involving my father and my family dynamics, and I’d like some outside perspectives.

My father has always been a caring and supportive parent toward me. Growing up, he provided everything I needed, was emotionally present in many ways, and treated me with a lot of affection and care. At the same time, he has habits that have affected our family negatively for years — daily drinking, smoking, staying out late at night, and emotionally distancing himself from the family.

Recently, while I was home from college, my mother discovered that he had been using “friend/chat” apps where he was paying for subscriptions and talking privately with women. When confronted, he claimed the conversations were harmless, but it deeply hurt my mother and created a lot of distrust within the family.

Seeing my mother cry over this has been emotionally overwhelming for me.

To make things more complicated, there are also older memories that I never fully processed. Years ago, I sometimes felt uncomfortable about certain physical interactions with him, but because he was my father and otherwise loving and caring, I convinced myself not to think too deeply about it. I also remember accidentally coming across explicit content on his phone when I was much younger.

Now, all these experiences are colliding in my mind and creating a lot of confusion. I feel anger, disappointment, disgust, sadness, guilt for feeling those things, and also empathy for him at the same time.

What confuses me most is that after these issues came to light, he appeared genuinely shaken. My mother spoke to him about how his past behavior affected me, and he apologized. Since then, his behavior has noticeably changed — he has been calmer, more emotional, trying to avoid drinking, waking up early, and acting unusually withdrawn and regretful. Even people outside the family have commented that he seems emotionally affected.

I don’t know how to reconcile these two versions of someone:

- the caring father who loved and supported me deeply,

- and the person whose actions caused pain, discomfort, and emotional damage within the family.

Has anyone experienced similarly conflicting emotions toward a parent? How do you process love, disappointment, anger, empathy, and grief toward the same person at once?

I know this sounds a little odd, but I grew up without a father, father figure, or brothers, and shaving was always one of those things I heard was a bonding experience for a lot of guys with the men in their family. I just turned 18 and am finally needing to shave, but I feel like I never really learned the technique or “how to do it right,” or how to not knick myself. It’s funny how something so small can make you realize what you missed growing up :)

Hey dads. I just bought my first RV and I love it, but I'm trying to redo this dinette section for my girlfriend and I have about 5 or 6 stripped Robertson screws stuck in the floor.

I bought a screw remover tool from Amazon and it's not worth a damn and made one of them worse - now it's stuck and stripped in a circle instead of a square.

Duct tape didn't work either.

There's gotta be a trick.

Thanks!

Hey dads, I'm (26M, living off of savings with a roommate) going to graduate from my associate's program next year and I think I'm going to start running low on money towards the end of my program. I'm not really sure how to approach getting part time work when that happens.

We work on the quarter system - In winter quarter, I'll be going to school part time, and in spring, I'll be taking a part time internship. I expect to have a job by the end of the summer (I'm in a career training program that has an excellent placement rate).

I'm not working right now, and can't feasibly work due to the extent of my course load until Dec-Jan. I don't have any experience with customer facing jobs, food service, or labor jobs, but I think I could do that kind of work. I'm scared of working with kids. I'm working on my driver's license right now and should have access to a car by Dec.

What kinds of jobs should I look for? How do I present myself to employers knowing that I'll leave in a matter of months?

edit: I already supplement my diet from a food pantry, I'm on full scholarship for school (whew!) and I'm trying to apply for direct paid apprenticeships that can replace my internship.

Hey dad. I'm being dumb about taking care of this issue because so many problems have stacked up and my life is so off track that I'm overstimulated. So I know this is not rocket science; I just need to hear the insight though, to get out of the brain fog to problem solve, and pick myself up and deal with it. I'm not stupid and lazy normally. I'm just overwhelmed.

The background with my car is that the car in front of me slammed on their brakes, and I didn't stop fully in time and ran into them. My car is still drivable, and the engine is fine, but the bumper and body are messed up. I took my car in to see what it would cost to fix it. It's going to cost more than it's worth because it's an older vehicle. About $5k to repair, that I could just put toward a newer vehicle. I only spent $8k to buy it used in the first place.

I had been planning on buying a new vehicle for a while anyways, but I have been putting it off because my work contract ended and I haven't been able to get a job for a year now (just gig work to stay afloat). But now my car won't start, and the clincher is that the hood is stuck shut. I haven't been able to get it open since I last checked the fluids.

Help me think straight. I just want to get the hood open to jump it, and prevent it from being stuck shut again. And not pay thousands until I get back on my feet. Is that possible? Or at this point is the only option to junk it / get it towed away, and just not have a car? I've had to live out of my car before, and times are bad again, so it's a huge security issue for me to just not have one. I'm trying to find a way for it not to come to that. I just appreciate your help.

Update: Oh my god I got it open!! THANK YOU for getting my mind going. I can get someone to jump it and keep it going while I find a job, and still have my car to live in if things get that bad again. Thank you guys for talking it out. I can't thank you enough.

I'm 25 and I get my girl pregnant I don't have a stable job yet, and yes that sounds irresponsible in my end. Any advice?

My dad has a camera in the living room of our apartment which is fairly small and recently we had gotten into a small altercation because I had brought my boyfriend home with me when no one else was home.

He believes that the camera is for checking to see if there will be maintenance people or the manager who are coming in to our house without us knowing because he was paranoid from past incidents (which were only 2) of maintenance people poking around the living room.

I believed that this is justifiable but it shouldn’t be on when theres someone in the house all day, like how I am. He has the camera on even when I am in the house which infuriates me because there shouldn’t be a reason for me to feel uncomfortable when I am in my own home. I think that he has it on because he just wants to spy on me in a way and it’s absolutely draining.

I mean my mom unplugs the camera when she gets home but when I unplug it, it causes a whole ordeal. Again I understand that I had broken his trust but it shouldn’t lead me to walk on eggshells whenever I am in my own home.

is this normal?

At what age should dads draw the line on showering with their sons? At what age should sons start being a bit more private about nudity?

I have a 2016 Buick Encore (about 93k miles) in need of new tires (215/55/18).

I mostly drive to work, which includes some city and some highway driving @60mph.

The current tires on the vehicle are Uniroyal, that the previous owner put on.

I would love to be able to afford Michelin or Goodyear, but I can't afford to spend $1000+ on a set of tires.

What affordable tires do you recommend that are good quality? My budget is around $600 with some wiggle room.

Need advice one-on-one if a dad is open to talking about career, relationships, etc. I don’t have a father or father figure to go to. Lmk if anyone can talk.

Need advice one-on-one if a dad is open to talking about career, relationships, etc. I don’t have a father or father figure to go to. It’s too long to post.

As an amateur swimmer my whole adult life (31yr old) who swims 2-3 mornings a week before work, and maybe the odd evening and weekend, why is there such a big stigma for Speedos - especially from other men? 🤣

My phone almost slipped straight onto concrete today morning as I was heading to work and my soul left my body for a second.I was walking out of a crowded train station trying to hold my bags, check directions, and reply to a message at the same time when my phone suddenly slid out of my hand. Somehow I caught it at the last second, and since then I have been thinking about anti-drop accessories I can get. I honestly used to think phone straps, ring holders, MagSafe grips, and wrist lanyards were kind of unnecessary or just aesthetic TikTok accessories. But now I’m starting to understand why so many people swear by them because phones are way too expensive nowadays to be risking random drops. I have been going through different options online, even scrolling on alibaba l’m trying to figure out which accessories are actually useful and which ones match my vibe since I am a minimalist when it comes to accessories. Which anti-drop phone accessory made the biggest difference for you?

Hey i am (M17) I am currently living with my unidenttical twin brother and my dad (71), my mom left my dad like a week ago because he is controlling her too much, I have 3 big brothers ( 36,35,34 ) so we are a family of 7, my mom went to live with one of my big brothers and my nephew this is basically the family

Anyway I am asking if my dad saving habits are a bit too much, he has always been like this but at this point it's too much, he collects water when washing dishes to use instead of flushing the toilet, he also does the same thing when my mom used the washing machine, the problem that the water would immediately start smelling like shit,

And be a breading ground for bacteria

When we finish eating he would collect olive oil from the main plate to save, he will always watch our portions and would basically tell us to lower or use more bread ( ie when making a chicken sandwich ) it's gotten so bad that one time I joked about it by putting a pot Infront of my food so he wouldn't be able to look,

He is all about buying discounted foods, we have 5 fridge's and they are Full to the brim, I am talking 3 double ( freezer refrigerator ) a lot of the time food spoils before we can actually finish through it, he doesn't like replacing stuff, his phone is 5 years old now, even though we got new ones, he even sometimes goes to the dumpster and collects furniture or other useless items and brings them home, we have like a full house of bathtubs doors couches and other stuff just sitting their

So is this too much or is it normal

Our financial situation is pretty good, btw like we have a lot of money, he is an architect if anyone is curious

Sorry for the long post, it has Been sitting on my mind a lot lately

looking for advice on now to best secure a floating island/floating mat in a large river that can have a current sometimes. My dad passed a couple of years ago and my friends and I are taking over a cottage, I know he would have known what to do but I am at a loss. We have enough knowledge to know that we’re going to need an anchor and tie off line to keep it in place but we aren’t sure where to start. cinder blocks and a chain? an actual anchor & rope? we will be brining that mat in during the week when we aren’t at the cottage so we were thinking to just have a Bouy attached to the line while it’s out of the water or is that a poor idea?

really just looking for the best way to have something to swim out to and float on while we are there and not end up 4 km down river. the current isn’t super strong but it can get going sometimes.

PLZ HELP!

so basically i have this childhood friend whose a male and im a female. our dads have been friends for a long time and my dad has known my friend since birth. i asked my dad for something and he said later or no, but when he asked for the same exact thing my dad said he would get it for him. when i ask for things it seems like my dad won’t do it but if HE asks for something then my dad would do it. does my dad just prioritize him over his own daughter??

Hi! I'm a young mom to a toddler and baby, both boys. I would love to hear some thoughts on my situation.

I left their dad a few months ago because he is extremely abusive, and violent, he beat me severely once, and told me he hated our toddler and thinks about killing me and the kids. He's also said gross things about little girls, but hasn't done anything technically illegal or that i could report to authorities.

The problem is, I was (am?) a stay at home mom, and we are in a really tight knit conservative church.

My living situation is still supported by our church, and i can also still access our checking account so my husband still supports us. We have not legally separated or divorced yet.

The church has welcomed my husband back with open arms, saying they want to keep loving and forgiving him and helping him as long as he asks for help.

People think i am overreacting or being unforgiving because I choose to stay away from him and I consider him dangerous.

Things have gotten to the point that i no longer trust anyone in church.

I have my parents, who have been helping me currently.

And I have one sister who is married, and she and her husband do not agree with the church at all.

The problem is that they are moving to another state.

They have offered to try to help me get on my feet if i move with them.

One part of me wants to.

I want good male role models for my boys, and there is not one single man who respects me or that i trust in my current situation.

So if i were to go with my sister, her husband and sons could be good role models for my boys, and they actually respect me and i trust and respect them.

But i would have to leave my entire family, i wouldn't have my parents' help with my boys, and the boys wouldn't have their dad or family members from church in their lives.

I would have to find a job, my sister could watch my kids if i needed, but i would miss out on spending as much time with them.

The alternative would be to stay where i am and figure out some kind of minimal visitation and try to cooperate at church so that i can continue to be financially supported and stay with my kids. Which is what most people in my life right now are recommending.

I don't know if thats something I should even remotely consider though.

Why stay where everyone disrespects me, and why build a relationship with an abusive, violent, scary, basically pedophile man?

But nobody in church or on his side of the family, and even several of my married siblings, see any problem with it. They'd rather forgive and forget.

Is it best to just start over? Or should i try to figure something else out?

Note, law enforcement and child services have been involved, and ive done everything I legally can to protect us for now. Which is part of why we aren't seeing him for now.

But it's only temporary, and then I'll have to make a decision.