is my dad toxic or am i wrong?
i had a really nice relationship with my dad as a kid. but after i turned into a teen, his behaviour changed a bit. he still loves me but its been exhausting and suffocating to be around him.
im 19 now and he still doesnt treat me like an adult. he thinks of me as a child. so when i try to express my own feelings and opinions, he demeans them and makes me feel guilty for feeling things. he turns the entire situation around by victimising himself and saying stuff like 'i do so much for you' or 'i didnt know you had so much disrespect towards me' or similar stuff like that.
today, my brother insisted on buying something for my birthday and i refused because he is still struggling as a musician and i dont want him to waste his money on me. but my dad yelled at me for this. he said that he finds my stubbornness really annoying and he hates it. he said that i should be humble and i shouldnt be so indifferent towards my brother. none of this made sense to me.
i love my dad to death. but at one point, every conversation with him turns into him making me feel bad for having feelings and opinions. i cant remember the last time i have had an actual talk with him where i havent cried and felt so blocked up.
am i overthinking this? or is he at fault? because he never thinks he is at the wrong. its always me who has a problem.