r/AnorexiaNervosa

I just fainted for the first tim in my life. I kept boasting about the fact that I never faint. Thinking it won't be me. So please, to everyone. You are not immune from the complications of this horrible disease. We think we are invincible until we aren't.

Hi, I'm new here and trying to recover, however I still cannot bring myself to eat infront of people.

Tomorrow, I have a work meal that I CANNOT get out of and have no choice in, but to go. I dont want to eat there, and I physically cant bring myself to do it.

Although I'm trying to recover, ordering something small and "trying" will not work.

So what I'm asking, is how do I not eat there. What do I say, what do I do... cause I cannot bring myself to eat infront of 20ish people.

Please help, ASAP.

I’ve recently recovered pretty well from anorexia and i’ve put on quite a lot of weight but it honestly makes me feel like shit. I feel bloated all the time and i just hate how i look even more than i did when i was anorexic. Does it always feel this way?

I recently discovered i can’t see my collar bones as prominently as i used to and i have a sort of pouch where my uterus is and it makes me wanna go back to not eating again

I’m mostly venting here to see if anyone relates and if it gets better or if i should just go back to it.

i will do literally everything in my power to be able to eat alone and uninterrupted. If someone comes in the room while i’m eating I get seriously so upset

Idk I just feel like I was a lot more loved, treated better, before this I was just ignored and if not ignored I was literally the first thing everybody noticed, it's as if I wasn't treated like human at all, they judge me for being fat though now they tell me I need to eat more and it pisses me off. Can't they just pick one?? I really want to feel more loved again, and my old body could really do that

hey guys! i wrote here around a month ago saying i’m relapsing and now, a month later i’ve had several attempts on recovering. for the past month and even more i’ve been restricting really harshly. and when i tried to come back to eating normally for the first time i think i’ve experienced extreme hunger rather than regular bingeing (although can’t be sure cz i have no diagnosis or therapist watching my state). and i knew that i had to “binge my way out to recovery” but gave up cz in a week i started missing this weak feeling in my body, the feeling of lightness, etc. today i tried again but now i realised that i just really really love my bones and i don’t want to give up on this body. i don’t want to have just regular skinny body cz in my mind, the ideal body for me is this sick and bomy one. and at this point i have no idea how can i even make it to recovery. it’s not about reaching particular weight at this point but the body i have when i live like that.

please if you experienced something like that share your tips. i can quiet down the voice when i’m eating, the guilt, anything but this. i really want to eat normally and stop torturing myself but i can’t let go of this body.

i’ve tried going to therapist but after first session i fell into this eating cycle and felt ashamed of going back because i felt like i just made up my problems. i wanted to get my diagnosis but im also scared that if i get a “wrong” one i will get worse

Hi. I’ve been in treatment for an eating disorder (AN) for 20 years (I’m 40). Recently, I’ve come to realize that I may never be able to say that I’m 100% recovered. The concept of “being in the process” speaks to me as perhaps the best possible treatment outcome in my case.

I’m trying to make sense of anorexia in my head - how it’s possible that such an illness exists, how it’s possible that I’m losing my one and only life to it, and whether I will ever fully recover from it and what that would actually mean.

I would really appreciate hearing what you think led to your illness. It would help me enormously if you could share your thoughts. There are so many different factors that are said to contribute to eating disorders, and it seems difficult to find any common denominator. In my case, it was definitely a dysfunctional family and the trauma associated with it.

What do you feel was behind your illness?

And the second question: what is it that keeps you from fully recovering? Or, if you’re at a better stage, in that “middle ground” where I am, what is it that keeps you from recovering completely?

I’d be very grateful for any responses.

P.S. I want to post this question in several ED-related groups, so please bear with me if you see the same question there as well.

I hate that I don't i feel guilty about eating, I hate how much I'm eating. I feel like I'm addicted to food and it feels like I'll never stop eating. It's not quite spite, I'm just scared. My brain is going 'Where the fuck are the red lights?' Why? Shouldn't this feel good? I'm also getting tired of rmyself for feeling like this.

i feel like some people with this ed want others to know/ almost try to showcase their struggle, but also some people try to hide it and make it seem like they’re normal

I am a normal, healthy weight and so i don’t look like someone who struggles with a restrictive ed so sometimes I’ll find myself trying to “showcase” my ed in certain ways because i “want” to have anorexia but don’t fit the physical criteria. I just had new roommates move in so it’s been relevant there. I’m almost trying to “show off” in a sense but I probably just look like an idiot😭

alright so for some context, I used to restrict my eating, not because of anorexia but to harm myself (i have stopped now), therefore i am quite slim to an unhealthy degree and im still trying to gain back weight.

I have a friend who struggles with eating and im pretty sure that she has anorexia but obviously im not going to disgnose her but it is pretty obvious she struggles with issues around body image and eating due to like her actions, things she says and reposts.

the thing thats kinda bugging me is that she has mentioned multiple times how she “wants my body”. and I am very insecure about my body since I am like my body is not desirable and I have told her like noo u don’t want it blah blah

but yeah I kinda feel uncomfortable being around her in certain clothing like shorts/sending any pics or anything that show my body bc I don’t want her to be like “hey im gonna go starve myself more to look like my friend!”

tldr: I feel uncomfortable my friend having me as like a “body goal” (I am underweight) and I was wondering if this is something most do and it’s nothing to worry about 😭

Hii, im kinda scared to post here cause its my first time but theres something weighing down on me, to clarify i am not self diagnosing or anything but me, and my friends are suspecting i have anorexia, and Im kinda bad with words so idk how to word this out so if i get diagnosed i feel like i dont want to recover cause like i feel pretty comfortable and fine where i am, even better than before, and if i don't get diagnosed i feel like it'll make me feel like my experiences are invalid so im kinda regretting booking a session and .. its literally tomorrow

i used to be strong. i may have been bigger and unhappy with my body but i used to be strong. now i can barely rearrange my room by myself, hold up my instrument for long periods, or do anything physical without feeling weak and tired. i was so proud to be strong. i’m the weakest boy i know now (not considering people below my age.) it’s so saddening

I'm changing schools in September. Obviously that's bad because I have to pick either a skirt or trousers. Either way I'll look shit. And then we have PE. Trousers or shorts. New people. New teachers. People will judge me for being fat. What am I meant to do?

*please be a lighthearted this is meant to be a fun funny post and non serious ridiculousness, a litttle reprieve*

So as I wait for my meds to kick in and to see how my new one works I have been resting. Scale was shit this morning, but I’ve been gassy. In my pre caffeine state the randomest thought went through my head:
Does trapped gas show up as weight on the scale? Do i need to get all farts out to have my “true weight?”

Anyways, what are soma random ass things your ED has made ya think of? Doesn’t have to be anything serious, the outlandish the better!

No “calories in toothpaste” type, i want the other shit. The shit ya never wanted to leave your mind due to the “what the fuck did i just think” and the illogical hilariousness that you know is outrageously untrue/unsound/ridiculous

I just wanted to let everyone know that it indeed is so okay to eat, and better yet it is okay to enjoy what you eat. Food is seriously medicine I mean come on besides the taste and fun flavors, all food in its natural form really has a benefit to your body, micro and macro wise. Almond butter gives you healthy fats and key nutrients like vitamin E, potatoes give you sustainable carbs and contain potassium, salmon puts quality protein in your body and contains high amounts of vitamin D. I’m writing this to encourage others and myself that food is not only ‘not the enemy’ but that it’s even more so the only medicine literally every single person in this world needs to sustain their lives. Personally, I believe that food is a provision from God and is meant to be taken in with thanksgiving and joy. Again personally, I believe that God created food to sustain us and if I am not to take in what sustains my body, I am refusing to do His will for my life, because you can’t run on fumes let alone spread the Glory of Him with no brain or body fuel. :))

Hey everyone, I'm a guy who's had anorexia for around 3 years now. Early on in the disorder, I wanted to stay at a low weight and my restrictions revolved around not wanting to gain any. Now, though, I'm at a point where I objectively would like to be at a higher weight. I don't like how thin I look, and I know I'll be physically healthier.

The roadblock I'm facing, though, is the sort of obsessive desire to be "hungry" before meals and after I wake up. As I mentioned before, my restrictions around food now aren't outwardly about not wanting to gain weight anymore - instead, I find myself trying to eat so that I feel "hungry" before my next meal. (For example, I've noticed that if I don't have a bowel movement on any given day I really don't feel hungry that day, so I'm always hyper-aware of how much fiber I'm eating so that I consistently have BMs.) Of course, I'm sure my desire to be hungry is deep down connected to a subconscious fear of recovery/gaining weight, but it doesn't outwardly feel like that. The roadblock for my recovery is the idea of eating enough to feel fuller than comfortable, which I know I will inevitably have to do at some point to gain weight. It feels like if there were a way to snap my fingers and be at a higher body weight, but still maintain that "hungry" feeling when I eat, I would jump at the chance.

I was just wondering if anyone else had struggled with thoughts like these, and what you did to cope? Thanks for everyone's help!

i don’t even know how to start this but i’m so scared of gaining weight and getting bigger that even drinking water or diet drinks scare me. it’s gotten to the point where i only ‘let’ myself have one drink a day because im so terrified if i have any more then that i’ll gain weight. it probably doesn’t help that i weigh myself multiple times a day so it makes me think i’ve gained weight and i don’t know what to do anymore. i spend the whole day thirsty but im too scared to drink anything in fear of gaining weight

What's the science behind why it's so much harder to lose weight after you gained it back from an? I get metabolism is a bit altered but there's still a limit to how much it can adapt...

Like will you end up just maintaining forever on such a low amount? I don't think this is biologically possible..it's not possible to form energy out of thin air?? I'm sorry... I'm just incredibly frustrated :(

Hi, won’t go into detail but have a doctor appointment on October 7th and worried I might be sent to the er. I’m an adult and have never had a feeding tube before so I don’t know what it’s like. If I refuse, would they give it to me anyway? If so, would they sedate me? Hold me down? What if I take it out? very curious. sorry if this isn’t the right place to ask I’m extremely weak and can’t think clearly thank you