u/Positive_Action_6969

hey guys! i wrote here around a month ago saying i’m relapsing and now, a month later i’ve had several attempts on recovering. for the past month and even more i’ve been restricting really harshly. and when i tried to come back to eating normally for the first time i think i’ve experienced extreme hunger rather than regular bingeing (although can’t be sure cz i have no diagnosis or therapist watching my state). and i knew that i had to “binge my way out to recovery” but gave up cz in a week i started missing this weak feeling in my body, the feeling of lightness, etc. today i tried again but now i realised that i just really really love my bones and i don’t want to give up on this body. i don’t want to have just regular skinny body cz in my mind, the ideal body for me is this sick and bomy one. and at this point i have no idea how can i even make it to recovery. it’s not about reaching particular weight at this point but the body i have when i live like that.

please if you experienced something like that share your tips. i can quiet down the voice when i’m eating, the guilt, anything but this. i really want to eat normally and stop torturing myself but i can’t let go of this body.

i’ve tried going to therapist but after first session i fell into this eating cycle and felt ashamed of going back because i felt like i just made up my problems. i wanted to get my diagnosis but im also scared that if i get a “wrong” one i will get worse

TW ED

hi! i want to warn that in this posts i will bring up ED problems. i’m f22 and i’ve been dating my now wife for 2.5 years. our relationship started as long distance relationship. she lives in mexico i used to live in europe. i visited her once. and overall our relationship has been really good and healthy? i thought so at least. last september we had a hard time because of my wife’s mental health worsening. i’ve been with her for the whole time and has been supporting her all the way through it. even up until this day. i’ve educated myself on her illness to know how to support her, spot her crisis (she has bpd). and so i moved to mexico to live with her. we got married and now have been living together this whole time.

as you could understand i’ve suffered from eating disorder few years and managed to go into less intense phase of it. she knew about it from the beginning. lately, due to me living in foreign country with no friends and family or even job i started to feel worse. i had feeling i might relapse back to my active phase. i had few attempts to start dieting and i brought all of my strength and pride to let her know i’m struggling with it. she did tell me few words of support but that was all. i felt like she didn’t take it seriously and didn’t put any attention to it. i end up relapsing really badly, i didn’t tell her anymore as it only makes me feel miserable. also after i expressed to her my worry about relapsing, next day she kinda felt bad and told me she doesn’t like her body and stuff like this. so i decided to leave her out of it for her peace.

but i suddenly feel really bad because i was really hoping for help to not fall back into this shit. and now i’m getting knee deep into it. i don’t blame her at all. i just don’t know if i have any right to feel bad and unimportant.. i never really talk about my feelings or ask for help or anything. i usually handle everything myself. it was probably the first time i talked about it out loud and it was useless. please help me to understand it. she’s not a bad person but she doesn’t pay much attention to things like that honestly.

i understand that she has her own problems that’s why i don’t know how to feel about it. please please someone help me figure it out

Hi! I started a process of getting my temporary residency permit via marriage around two months ago in Nuevo Leon state and wanted to know other people’s experiences. we had an interview with my partner on march 25th and ever since had no updates on my application. we tried calling the office and went there to check what’s going on. the officer said they’re waiting for confirmation from civil registry. so i wanted to know if someone here had similar problem and how long it usually takes to get the permit. thanks ahead! (sorry if my grammar is not the best. english isn’t my first language)