r/WLW

Yes obviously I know everyone is entitled to their opinions lol.

But sometimes it makes me feel like I won’t find a girl because she won’t like that I’m hairy😅.

Between being chronically ill and not giving a ffffuucckkk about the patriarch lol, I never shave my legs or anywhere else.

Except my 🐱 because of hygiene lol.

Anyway I guess I’m wondering if there’s any sapphics who don’t mind body hair🤷‍♀️

Edit: Thank you everyone!🥹 I feel a lot better now.

I'm so tired. I just wanna talk to good queer people that is it. Just good stable relationship with fellow queer women, it doesn't even matter what the nature of relationship is - romantic? platonic? who cares

anyone else feeling like this? come talk to me please you guys

I don’t know why some wlw when they talk about masc women some people assume that they only talk about masc lesbian when masc bi,pan,omni,poly,unlabeled and queer women exist !

Be masc don’t equal be a lesbian hope this help !

Last week I posted something asking y’all how to eat a girl out since I had a sex date planned. Update: came back home today, since Friday and damnnn. I’m proud of myself. Ate her out 3 times and she orgasmed 3 fucking timesss🥳🥳🥳I loved it, I think I’m going to be addicted to eating pussy, it was so good. I loved her scent, her taste, making her feel good… 10/10 for my first time eating out a woman, won’t be the last. It was also my first time being strapped, she strapped me down!!! Anyway, thank you for all the tips, they were utilized properly might I say. She is a good communicator so I enjoyed when she told me what felt good, I just listened like a good girl. That is all🥹

For context and background me and my gf are both girly but she’s 4’10 and I’m 5’5. Also I’m like 99% into boys and 1% into girls and she’s like 99% into girls and 1% into boys. Also she’s very like submissive and I’m definitely dominant ( not intentionally😭I just get annoyed and mean easily ) she’s also like 6 months younger than me.

I fear I would feel awkward if she was to like touch me and stuff and that I wouldn’t be into it. I’ve also never dated a girl before but I’ve been thinking a lot about things to do with sex as I’m pretty sure she expects things like that. I’ve been thinking how I’d be ok dating a girl and not having her touch me in sexual ways but id be okay with touching or pleasuring her yk what i mean? But I don’t think that’s sustainable if we want to last as if she ever wants to like ‘see’ me or do anything for me I’d immediately feel weird so idk what to do or if I’m just straight😭

I’ve also never done anything apart from kissed and dated guys and im kind of insecure when it comes to thinking about sex and stuff so maybe I’m simply not ready but also our dynamic is a big factor. I hope this all makes sense 😅

i know im young but if i could choose to give up everything i have right now just to spend the rest of my life with that girl, i would. im so mad that I pushed her away from me. i wish I get to make it up to her one day

Okay so I recently reconnected with someone I hurt a few months ago after completely shutting down emotionally and avoiding everything. At the time I genuinely convinced myself I didn’t even have feelings for her anymore, but after a lot of reflection (and therapy), I realized the feelings never actually disappeared. I just deactivated HARD once things started feeling emotionally real and vulnerable.

Now we’re talking again and honestly I want her so bad bro like I want closeness with her, I want affection, I want domesticity, I want all of it. And she knows how I feel too. We’ve had very honest conversations about it and she’s basically said she wants to take things slowly, find a nice path forward, and give me space/time to show consistency instead of rushing anything.

The issue is my nervous system reacts to closeness like it’s a life threatening event even though emotionally it’s what I want most. I’ll spend all day thinking about her, wanting to talk to her, wanting to see her, but then I’ll suddenly get overwhelmed and anxious and start overanalyzing everything. I wake up anxious sometimes, I get nauseous, I lose my appetite, and when I get REALLY overwhelmed I emotionally detach for a bit and my brain starts going “run” even though that’s not actually what I want.

And the confusing part is that the second I calm down or think about actually seeing her in person, hugging her, hearing her voice, etc., the feelings are immediately there again very strongly. Like immediate butterflies. So it’s not that I don’t care. If anything I care too much and my brain freaks out because of how vulnerable it makes me feel.

I’m in therapy now and actively trying not to repeat old patterns. I’m communicating instead of disappearing, trying not to react impulsively when anxious, and being honest that I need things to move slowly because I don’t trust myself to jump into something intense right away without getting overwhelmed again.

I guess I’m asking if anyone else with fearful avoidant tendencies has experienced this weird disconnect where emotionally you want closeness so badly but your nervous system keeps interpreting it as danger? And how do you actually regulate yourself enough to stay present instead of wanting to run the second things feel real?

Idk if anyone will read this but there’s no one at all in my personal life I can talk to about this. I
(25F) am “straight” but when I was 14 I was in a friendship with a girl which quickly became a homoerotic situation it was terrible. she was my first kiss first everything we weren’t in a relationship but acted like we were when we were alone it got very toxic and was painful and tapered off eventually.

Other than that I’ve only had feelings for men, been with men if anything I’d say I’m bi but honestly I’m much older now and left that experience so far in the past I thought I’d moved on, other than a few female celebs that I’d think were attractive I hadn’t experienced anything else I’ve just said I’m straight.

Well I’ve had this friendship with a woman (24F) and we’ve been friends for 4 years and have gotten very close the last 2 and are best friends. Over past 6 months we’ve both gone through a lot and we both started leaning on each other in deeper ways she also identifies as straight but in her early teen years had many experiences with women as well. We’re both in long term relationships with men which makes this all the more problematic. There’s been some betrayal lately which is part of the getting closer to each other lately.

I am shocked completely by what I’ve been feeling and it sucks so bad. We are together all the time and have a completely different relationship when we are alone vs. with others we sleepover a lot and cuddle and rub her under clothes. She leans into this heavily and tells me she likes when I touch her I play boyfriend to her in a way and enjoy it I know there’s no romantic feelings for her as far as I know I think she likes the attention and feeling good and is deeply bonded to me mainly. Overall I’m fine with that I’m right where I want to be, but i know it’s not good for me.

none of this is ever acknowledged out loud ever. We joke about being platonic soulmates and the second her man comes around she acts so different towards me and I follow suit and it’s basically this big elephant in the room. It’s so inconsistent and sometimes I feel crazy like oh that was just platonic as if I wasn’t just in her pants the night before. I’m honestly getting so depressed bc I’ve fallen for her but it literally can’t ever be I know i probably need to make distance but she’s my best friend and closer to me than anyone. I wish I knew what she was thinking. We get lesbian allegations since we’re together all the time and she acts so shocked bc “she isn’t gay” it’s wild bc we sure be acting gay. I wish I could just stop feeling this toward her I literally haven’t thought about a woman that way in over 10 years and don’t know how I ended up here and am afraid we are gonna crash and burn and I’m gonna lose another best friend due to the same scenario. I’m probably in Limerence (also I know we need to break up with these men regardless it’s all just so confusing rn)

Long story short, beyond what the title says, I brought up that people get upset that some lesbians only want to date other lesbians such as myself.

My gf is a transfem lesbian, we've been dating for almost 6 months, but I just realized that I never straight up told her that was one of the factors towards me wanting to date her oops. But other than that,

She got very defensive and said it sounds very wrong to want a preference based on sexuality and it genuinely made me feel hurt. It's a preference for me. I'm very supportive of the bi community, especially knowing I used to identify as bi a few years ago. I have nothing against bi women, and I have a couple of close friends who are. That's simply my preference for myself, I didn't think it's wrong of me to want that. But she got upset and even said it made her uncomfortable. And no, I dont think it's because she's attracted to men herself. she's made it very clear she's not.

Her points are that it sounds "close minded and unfair to not want to date someone just because you think they're gonna leave you for a man" when I didn't even say anything like that yet!!!!!!! :( i wasn't even given a chance to explain myself. I had to hold back tears and ask to talk abt it another time and just hung up.

So idk my question is, I just need reassurance that my preference is valid, I guess. And also, how would I explain myself to her? I don't avoid dating bi women for any reason like that. She thinks the only reason I would want to avoid bi women would be for a bigoted reason. I more prefer someone who has similar life experiences to me that bi women dont have.

Also, bi girls have made me very uncomfortable in the past with the way they express their sexual attraction to men- this sounds strange but I have trauma related to penises and SA so it makes me uncomfortable and has in the past so I avoid girls who like to talk about it.

I (19F) made a post about a bank teller at the bank I cash my checks. From this post and forward I’m gonna call her S.

Last Wednesday I went in to cash my check like normal and the teller was there. S was the next free teller to I went up and give her everything needed to cash the check. There was a bit of small talk about me starting an account and S asked if I wanted to set an appointment to start the account. I agreed and she scheduled the appointment.

Fast forward to this Wednesday (today), I show up and there S was in the lobby. She told me I could take a seat while I wait on the person who was helping set up the account. While I waited there was some more small talk but not about banking. She asked how my weekend was, asked me some questions about my job, etc. a coworker of hers came over and looked at the iPad S was holding, read my name, and looked up at me. The coworker repeated my name to me and I told her yes. S then told her something along the lines of “She is the one I was telling you about that I was excited to help get an account started.”

Now as short as this seemed this was like an almost 20 minute or longer interaction. Finally the guy who is helping me set up the account appears and I follow him. After we completed everything I went to cash my check but I looked around the room for S and she wasn’t there. I assumed she left for the day and went home.

Idk if I’m just reading too much into this or what.. This is all I have for now. I do have to cash my paycheck tomorrow however, I’m unsure if she’ll be there.

I have no one to talk to about this loll!

(Also I realized I may have over aged her in my original post. She’s definitely somewhere between 22-26)

I’m a bisexual woman but I’ve only ever dated straight or bi men.

I am a self confessed man hater, feminist, left wing, very outspoken about queer rights and human rights in general, but constantly find myself only meeting men even when I try not to 😥

I see so much beautiful sapphic love, and really feel the ‘a great man is just a mediocre woman’ and find myself wanting more from all the men I date. Craving the experience of a wlw relationship.

Does anyone else feel like they’re missing out on incredibly emotional and beautiful relationships with women? And do you actively try to avoid dating men and then choose women instead?

As a bi women in a small town I find my dating pool is usually about 100/1 men to women :(

Genuine question because I’m starting to think I’m not imagining this.

A lot of WLW “community spaces” end up feeling like one of three things:

• cliques that are already fully formed and not really open
• dating-app energy but in physical space
• or events where you show up alone and instantly feel like the only new person in the room

So I started building something called City Sapphics LLC— a local sapphic community focused on actually making it easier to meet people without it turning into a weird social performance or hookup pressure situation. We currently have branches in Chicago, Atlanta, and Tampa/St. Pete!

The goal isn’t anything fancy. It’s just:

• show up alone and still feel welcome
• meet other sapphics without forced flirting energy
• low-pressure, consistent social events
• inclusive of bi/pan/lesbian/trans sapphics
• spaces that don’t revolve around alcohol or nightlife

We’ve been doing coffee meetups, workouts, dinners, beach hangs, and casual social stuff depending on the city.

I’m still figuring out what actually works, so I’m curious:

What would make a WLW space feel genuinely welcoming to you?
And what usually makes you not go even if you want to?

If you’re interested or local, feel free to comment or message — but even just thoughts are helpful.

Is there a huge problem with ghosting in the sapphic and lesbian communities or is it just me?

I was constantly getting ghosted on dating apps until I FINALLY connected with someone who was so similar to me. Today, they ended up blocking me on everything with absolutely no context. Things were going so well so I was completely blindsided.

I’m probably done with romance for awhile now because that genuinely scarred me. I even opened up to her about being ghosted often and she said she would NEVER do anything like that so I had so much confidence in this. I am a mess right now and haven’t gotten out of bed this whole day.

What does it feel like recieving strap if we never had penatrated sex before?

Every day I get to listen to my friends being in happy relationships or about to enter one. I hear about their first experience kissing, their dates, how they spend time with their partners, how they hug and cuddle them and I'm just there. I never get to experience anything like that. I can only stand and listen about their happy time and get nothing. I can only sit at home and imagine how would kissing my girlfriend feel or how nice it would be to cuddle, hug, talk, watch things together, go on dates, just spend time with each other and be happy together. I get to see posts about people being in happy relationships, going on dates, having experience and I never get to experience it myself. No one sees me as an option. No one likes me. Every time I try to ask someone out it ends badly for me and I end up hurt. Everyone around me can be happy except me. It's not the country or the area I live in because I know queer people are there and all of the ones I know are already in relationships or they rejected me. I just wish I could have a happy relationship too and for someone to finally love me for once.

I’m looking for practical tips from your experience : one useful, concrete thing you’d tell someone with zero experience (me).

Not just general advice like communication (I know that matters), but something that actually made a difference for you.

What’s one tip you’d give to a complete beginner ?
Share your moves !! 🤓📝

i noticed so often when i was actively dating that a lot of wlw felt like they were performing a role instead of just being themselves. it felt like there were these boxes of what kind of lesbian you’re “supposed” to be, masc, butch, femme, etc, and people would start acting out these exaggerated personality traits attached to them. honestly it started to feel corny to me because i could tell when someone was performing an identity.

i also kept running into this unspoken expectation that one girl has to be “the guy” and one has to be “the girl” in the relationship. like there was pressure for the more masculine woman to act like a stereotypical man, the gentleman act, the emotional role, the dynamic, all of it. and what frustrated me is that i don’t want a man recreated through a woman. i want to be with a girl. i don’t need someone performing what we see as masculinity for me or trying to fill a “male role.”

My first date with a gurl. I'm nervous

we were together for two and half years and lived together in her place. She woke me up in bed a week ago, the day after my final college exam saying we needed to talk. The night before she went out and bought me congratulations flowers. Two weeks before she was talking to me about adopting a cat.

There were three days of flip flopping before she finally ended it.

I went to go and stay with family the night she did, and left a note behind for her. It was painful and raw, but now I just feel angry.

I texted her to say I’m open to a conversation in the future but need time. She’s done this before and gone back on it. Honestly, it was me trying to get some semblance of control. She replied saying she had seen my messages and was planning a response.

That was 3 days ago now, and still nothing. She has found the time to text our mutual friends and even a pretty comprehensive message to my mother which included her asking for me to move out my stuff earlier because she will be on a work trip then. I think in her mind she was doing me a favour so i don’t have to see her, but it’s all just so inconsiderate.

I *want* to send her a text telling her how angry i am now, that her handling of this has made me lose respect for her. But i don’t want to kiss goodbye to any shred of dignity i may have left. I want to know what she has to say, but i also don’t care. It feels all just too little too late - my life has already been uprooted in a week with no explanation.

What would you do? block, angry text, or wait it out?

I dont want to use dating apps as I find them dehumanizing and transactional. But I live in a very small southern town, and the only girls near me are women with boyfriends and kids looking for a 3rd. I also dont have snapchat and am not completely active on most social media. Any advice helps.