Is this too desperate?
Hello, I am trying to contemplate whether I should send a message to someone or if it makes me seem too *waves hands*. For some insight, this woman and I had a shared pinterest board that was basically us saving artistic photos of interior design, whimsical photos of sunlight on water, baby deer, dramatically lit images of the moon, and lots of vibrant hues of the blue/green variety mixed with dark burgundies.
My history with this woman is that we kissed twice, and we got play engagement rings at the crystal store and called each other fiancée (not for a long time, fleetingly and playfully). We did not date, and we had one sleepover (not sexual we just had red wine and watched a movie and got coffee in the morning (and got our play engagement rings)), but we had a 'falling out'... it was not really a falling out she was just friends with a guy I didn't like and he was causing problems in my friend group but I didn't want to get into that with her because it wasn't even my primary drama.
Anyways, she stopped adding to the board about a year ago. Also, a year ago I went to the UK for grad school, so we have not seen each other in person in two years. As I am typing this out I am coming to conclusions, but I love beating a dead horse. Continuing on, I deleted the board in March-ish of this year and her number (but i didn't block her number or unfollow her on instagram). She posted on her instagram story that she was in the country I went to grad school in, and of course, I slid up and said omg are you in xyz? and she responded yes, and she said
'thinking of you so much. not kidding'
And as you can tell by this years-long mental affair between my delusions and my inaction, I have been sent spiralling. Now to the part where I ask if it looks desperate...
Does it look desperate or like I am thinking too much about her if I message her on instagram and tell her that I am sorry that I deleted our pinterest board because I was in my feelings? They weren't negative feelings towards her, but I just felt sorry for myself that I kept thinking about her. She wasn't thinking about me, but with her instagram message, I am thinking maybe I was catastrophising, and I should have just told her how I felt.