u/passengerprincessXD

I want a suit so badly. I’ve wanted one for years now but held myself back from buying one. I wish people understood that clothes have no gender! Yes I’m fem, yes I love skirts and dresses, but I love the look of a suit.

I got invited to a wedding and I feel like it’s the perfect time to get one. I know I’ll feel comfortable in one but I’m afraid someone will make me feel weird about it.

Do you guys think I should go for it? Or play it safe with a dress for the wedding and wait to buy a suit?

Just another day in harford county

It could have been the global pandemic/isolation, but honestly I (F24) wasn’t even anxious during covid (18-20). It really hit when I was like 22, all of a sudden everything made me anxious and paranoid.

Until recently I never had car anxiety, I never worried about the food I’m eating being contaminated, I never feared being perceived in public spaces or crowds in general. I would speak confidently and go out a lot almost every night, now I’m in my house hiding from the world.

I just miss life pre covid 😭 I lived more freely in my teens than my entire 20s so far. I am working on it, but it’s hard.

She (23f) asked last weekend but I (24f) was attending my older cousins wedding and told her I couldn’t.

For reference her kid is 4 and I’ve never once baby sat him or any other kid. I felt bad and told her maybe another weekend I’d be available ( which I shouldn’t have said ! It’s due to me being a people pleaser 😭) I wish I’d just said no and left it there.

She asked me again an hour ago and I haven’t responded yet. I don’t want to watch the kid, love him but I don’t want to do that at all. I could do a an or two but she needs me to watch him till tomorrow afternoon. My plans today are school work, wine, and Netflix .. been looking forward to it all week..

UPDATE: our conversation

Me: “sorry I can’t”

Friend: “what happened to maybe another time?”

Me: “not gonna lie, I felt bad that I couldn’t help last weekend and started over compensated by saying I could another time, idk why but I felt so guilty when I couldn’t help you ..like it just ate at me all day.. But realistically I’m not in a place to babysit. I took on these extra summer classes so I can speed up my 3rd year and it’s been a lot. Plus working with kids all week... It’s been hard. I shouldn’t have made any promises but I’m not going to be able to babysit.”

Friend: “yeah i get that, go get that degree. Don’t worry I’m not at you! and i won’t ask again”

I’ve been seeing a lot of discussion on this. People saying Gen Z are pushing purity culture and are anti sex, Whereas millennials were the sex positive generation.

And I won’t deny that I do see a lot of my generation (Z) pushing these ideas because of religion, conservatism, and patriarchy. I think basing your sex life on these repressive ideologies is harmful..

HOWEVER, there is a bigger picture here.

No other Generation grew up on pornography the way Gen Z did. (Yes porn has been a thing) but the access today is almost limitless. I’ve seen comments of gen z talking about porn addictions starting as young as 6.

People like to act like Gen Z wasn’t groomed by internet and that it hasn’t caused lasting damage around the idea of sex, and the shame we associate it with.

I just hate that I see so many videos and studies whining about why Gen Z isn’t as sexually active. Or trying to paint those of us who aren’t hooking up as “puritan” or that we’re falling for some idiotic right winged agendas.

I’ve been seeing a lot of discussion on this. People saying Gen Z are pushing purity culture and are anti sex, Whereas millennials were the sex positive generation.

And I won’t deny that I do see a lot of my generation (Z) pushing these ideas because of religion, conservatism, and patriarchy. I think basing your sex life on these repressive ideologies is harmful..

HOWEVER, there is a bigger picture here.

No other Generation grew up on pornography the way Gen Z did. (Yes porn has been a thing) but the access today is almost limitless. I’ve seen comments of gen z talking about porn addictions starting as young as 6.

People like to act like Gen Z wasn’t groomed by internet and that it hasn’t caused lasting damage around the idea of sex, and the shame we associate it with.

I just hate that I see so many videos and studies whining about why Gen Z isn’t as sexually active. Or trying to paint those of us who aren’t hooking up as “puritan” or that we’re falling for some idiotic right winged agendas.

I think it’s perfect for me. I don’t like being with someone everyday. Really I love the idea of having my own space most of the year and maybe seeing my partner every few months and spending like a week together, then getting my space back.

I also find longing and yearning romantic. Being around someone everyday kinda kills the romance for me. I like to miss people.

I was saying this to my friend/coworker and then she asked my what my sign is.. after I said Aquarius she said went “that’ll do it” 😂

Now I wanna know if yall think it’s an us thing or just a me thing 😩

I feel like I’m lying about myself when I try to date 😭 like at what point do we delve into my trauma and all the ways I’ve ruined myself in the past 10 years? It feels like I’m sitting on key information about myself that would drive them away.

And like all the mental issues, should I be upfront about that? Like I have an ed, bpd, ocd, and a laundry list of other issues and phobias.

But like I’m fine and able to have a relationship, I just don’t want to share this with anyone..but I also kinda wanna rip it off like bandaid to see if they still like me..

The last time I went on a few dates with a girl I felt like I was being so..fake. Like a person I’d want to be. She told me I felt grounded and safe, but in my mind i knew that was the illusion I put on.

When I was in high school I had a codependent homoerotic friendship—as one does— it started at 15 and lasted till I was 20. We were beyond close, we’d cuddle, had matching tattoos, never went anywhere without each other, etc. but she had a boyfriend, which led to extreme jealousy on my end. And I was too afraid to tell her house I felt. We had a big drunk fight one night (2022), I moved out, and we never spoke again.

Last night I had the random urge to insta stalk her (haven’t looked at her account since we last spoke) my jaw literally dropped at what I saw. she is openly out, had pictures of her and her fiancé ( a woman) and has “L🏳️‍🌈” in her bio.

She was my friend before being my crush, so I’m proud of her for being out..but I genuinely thought that I over projected that she was into girls because I wanted her to want me.

She was the only girl I ever loved, but I’m not delusional enough to think that her being gay means she was in love with me too. But knowing I even possibly had a chance and didn’t take it just makes me feel like an idiot. Who knows what could have happened.

Moral of the story: shoot your shot. I rather miss and know I missed, then wonder forever if I would have made it.

Also don’t get drunk around someone you’re secretly crushing on, you either end up confessing or crying about how no one loves you. In the moment I chose the latter.

I love when women jump to fit into their jeans or like squat to stretch out skinny jeans. If this is some kind of kink sign me up 😭

I think being raised by unaffectionate parents makes it extremely hard to regulate your emotions as you grow up, and makes it extremely hard to maintain emotional relationships.

I was on a post where a girl talked about feeling like she’s going to have a panic attack when her mom tries to hug her, because she never hugged her as a child. Now she struggles to show affection with her boyfriend whose love language is physical touch. And so many comments related to having a fear of affectionate, or the opposite cravings it because you were deprived of affection growing up.

I was brought up the same way. My parents never hugged me, and I’ve never seen them hug each other either. We also never said “I love you”. Well I remember saying it for the first time at 12 (I heard my friends mom say it to her) but my mom just looked uncomfortable and didn’t say it back so I never thought to say it again. Then as my parents got older they started trying to hug me and my body rejects it so decline. It’s like my nervous system gets triggered. And it’s crazy cause I used to wish they would hug me as a kid.

I don’t think my parents are bad people. I just think having 4 daughters and not thinking ‘hey. Maybe we should try to show them affection even if it’s uncomfortable because kids needs safe places for this kind of thing’ is kinda crazy..

We had an argument about this straight couple we know who are swingers, we believe they’ve been outed and black balled leading to issues at their jobs.

She was ranting about how they deserve to be treated that way (one of them works in a school) and how she would raise hell if she found out her kids teacher was a swinger..then somehow related that to p3dophilia ??

I was like that’s crazy, didn’t you vote for trump? Who’s had multiple instances of p3dophilic predators behavior ?? But you draw the line at consenting adults being swingers with other consenting adults??

Then she replied that me being gay is basically the same thing as being a p3do because it’s all demonic and deviant in her eyes.

Gotta love right winged-conservative-Christian values ! 🙄