u/CaspianPinkster

I know there’s a lot of the complete opposite in sapphic circles with a lot of women idealizing women and acting like they’re perfect angels but lately I’ve been seeing waaaayyy too many people hating on wlw relationships acting like they’re always toxic and awful.

There needs to be some middle ground like yes wlw relationships can have issues and they aren’t always a walk in the park but they aren’t inherently worse than straight ones contrary to what I’ve seen people say.

The jokes about dating women being so awful and how being with men is so much easier because women are emotionally volatile are exhausting and honestly misogynistic. I’ve even seen sapphic women bringing up those stupid DV and divorce statistics to shit on their own fellow lesbians and bi women! What is up with that??

It’s all getting so old and atp anyone doing this is just encouraging homophobes to keep acting like lesbian relationships are all doomed and messy.

I’ve recently gotten into watching Thai gl series and I enjoyed them a lot. I’ve seen 5 so far and loved them so much. I’m really happy that this kind of representation exists and I think in general Thai shows handle sapphic relationships better in many ways than American or western shows do.

That said, I noticed that all the sexual scenes tend to be fully or mostly clothed. I didn’t mind it too much since many of the scenes were still well done but I did kind of wish there was more realism and that it was less sanitized. It felt filtered and a bit fake. I heard that it’s because Thai shows don’t allow nudity but when I looked at some bl sex scenes they were far more explicit than any scenes I’ve seen in gl shows.

I started looking around to see if anyone was commenting on it and saw a lot of people praising the lack of nudity for being focused on the “female gaze” and I honestly find that lesbophobic and misogynistic. It reeks of purity culture too. I would completely understand a lack of nudity being the result of the actresses not wanting to show themselves like that, but if the only reason is catering to the “female gaze” I find issue with that.

First off, women are sexual beings too. Lesbians experiencing sexual attraction and desiring sex isn’t a dirty or gross thing. The “female gaze” doesn’t have to be defined conservatively or lean into purity culture so much. I hate this idea that lesbian or sapphic love is better the less sexual it is. Think about it, do you ever see people policing men’s sexuality in this way?? You don’t see that with gay men or with straight men. I think the answer to why that is is blatantly obvious.

Trying to push the idea that it’s impure or less “female gazey” to portray lesbian nudity or sexuality isn’t being enlightened, it’s plain misogyny and lesbophobia. We seriously need to stop shaming lesbians or hiding their sexuality in media. I also don’t think that having fully clothed sex scenes in any sapphic media should be praised as better representation. If actual lesbians were making those scenes they probably wouldn’t have been so fully clothed and the scenes would have been more true to actual lesbian intimacy.

I’m not a pervert or creep for liking intimate scenes that are actually realistic especially when gay scenes are granted that treatment while lesbian ones are held to a different and stricter standard. It’s normal to have sexual feelings and desires and it isn’t less womanly or less representative of the female gaze to portray that or to have those feelings. I’m not even necessarily asking for more nudity, just that the very idea of including it not be stigmatized in the way it is.

I don’t want to criticize differences of culture, but I do think it’s worth scrutinizing anytime men are granted more freedom in certain things than women. If the male gaze is allowed sexuality, but the female gaze isn’t, is that actually true to differences between the two or might it be based around a society that routinely shames women for having sexuality?

This is a somewhat niche question and most people probably don’t even know what avpd is. I’m not officially diagnosed (I will be seeking a diagnosis later this year) but I heavily suspect I have avpd and social anxiety as well. I’m just wondering if this is something that would make me less desirable/seen as problematic and if I should try to fully fix myself as much as possible before potentially dating anyone or if I could still have some success dating people while working through my issues.

Also when is it necessary to mention these things about myself when in a talking stage with someone? I know some people want to avoid people who have or potentially have personality disorders and I don’t want to feel like I’m tricking someone into dating me by withholding that information. But I also don’t want to disclose it so quickly that they write me off before even knowing anything about me. However I’m willing to tell people right away regardless of my concerns if that’s what’s considered the best thing to do.

Thank you, and sorry if these are silly or dumb questions.

I’m always on the lookout for good wlw media and I had this recommended to me and watched in on OneD. I absolutely loved it so so much and I’d definitely say it’s the best wlw show I’ve ever seen. The cinematography was incredibly artistic, the storyline was mature but still left room for comedic moments and every moment with Claire and Bell was so sweet.

I started looking into other Thai GL shows to see if I could find something similar but to be honest the silly sound effects, distracting music during intimate scenes, and the general cheesiness kind of made it hard for me to get further than just a few minutes in or even past the trailer. It’s just not really my cup of tea honestly. It’s great these shows exist though I’m always happy about there being more representation and I wish I could enjoy them but it’s really not my thing.

Am I just looking in the wrong places?? Are there other Thai GL shows more like Clairebell? Or are there any being planned for the future?

This was genuinely one of the greatest shows I’ve ever seen. It was absolutely beautiful from the cinematography, to the pacing, the acting, and the story. It is absolute perfection!!

I will warn that it has pretty dark content on some parts. But (small spoiler)! >!It does have a happy ending!!! So if that’s something that usually deters you from shows, (it definitely does for me) then this show isn’t something to worry about.!<

I would relive my entire life just to re-experience watching this show for the first time. All the love scenes and romance development was just immaculate and it all had me so emotional in the best way possible.

Also one of the main actresses is a lesbian! Not that it matters a whole lot but I think it’s always nice when lesbian or sapphic actress are in wlw media.

This was my first Thai GL show that I’ve seen so if anyone has any other recs I’d be so happy if you shared!!

This is probably a really stupid question. But a lot of the lesbian and the sapphic community is very fixated on style terms like fem, femme, butch, and masc, and as someone who doesn’t neatly fit into any of those categories sometimes I worry that women might not find me attractive or that it’ll be harder for me to find a girlfriend.

I usually dress sort of masc, lots of baggy jeans, collared shirts, and men’s t shirts but I also occasionally dress slightly fem and my personality and other traits don’t lean heavily in either direction. I have a very high feminine voice, long hair, and my general mannerisms are just kind of gender-ambiguous but maybe fem leaning?? Idek

I know I don’t have to fit neatly into a box and most people don’t but I still have this worry that my androgyny would be a turn off to most sapphic women.

I guess I’m just looking for validation or other people like me idk lol sorry if this is a dumb question to ask!