u/Old-Drink-8984

I had a pretty turbulent relationship with my ex-girlfriend, and one of the stranger things in the whole story was that as soon as she found out that I had a job while studying, she started to expect me to be practically her "ATM".

The problem is that this job wasn't some extra cash that I could spend freely. I was using it to pay for college, food, daily expenses, and everything else that comes with living on my own. What was left I mostly spent on my needs, cosmetics or I would just save up for something I needed.

At the beginning of the relationship, we mostly split everything 50/50, but over time it started to be taken for granted that I would pay for more and more things. In the end, she even accused me of being a "selfish jerk" because I didn't want to spend money on her, questioning what it would be like if we lived together or were married, and whether I would behave the same way then.

People… we were together for only two months. 😭

Of course, I did pay for drinks sometimes, bought groceries for us to make lunch or dinner, offered her emotional support, and made nice gestures without expecting anything in return. The problem was that all of that was somehow completely ignored as soon as I refused to buy something more expensive.

When I finally broke up with her, one of the things she complained about the most was precisely that I "didn't want to spend money on her." As if all my effort, time, emotions, and what I provided in the relationship didn't count at all. It seems completely normal to me that partners sometimes contribute financially more to each other, especially when there's an agreement and mutual understanding. But it’s something completely different when the money from the other person starts to be viewed as something that belongs to you.

So, I'm curious what you all think about this. Have you had similar experiences, especially in lesbian relationships? And where do you draw the line between a partner who likes to treat and a person who starts to expect their partner to support them financially?

Pozdrav svima.

Došla sam u neki stadijum života u kojem mogu da kažem da sam mnogo bolje nego prethodnih godina i da se već neko vrijeme osjećam prilično ispunjeno. Čak i kada stvari ne idu kako treba, više nemam osjećaj da je kraj svijeta. Osjećam se mirnije i sigurnije u sebe.

To se nekako prenijelo i na moj pogled na romantične odnose. Prvi put osjećam da ne tražim nekoga samo zato da bih bila voljena ili da bih popunila neku prazninu u sebi. Naprotiv, osjećam želju da ja nekoga volim, da mu pružim ljubav i da ta ljubav bude uzvraćena. Dakle, ne tražim nekoga da bi me „spasio“ od samoće, već bih voljela da sa nekim jednostavno dijelim ono što već imam u sebi.

Trenutno sam single i želim sebi još malo prostora i slobode nakon lošeg odnosa kroz koji sam prošla. Ne osjećam nikakav problem sa tim da budem sama, ali isto tako ne želim da ostanem sama zauvijek. Samo želim da još neko vrijeme budem sama jer mi prija, a ne zato što sam odustala od ljubavi.

Zanimljivo mi je što se prvi put u životu osjećam ovako. Ne osjećam potrebu da jurim nekoga samo da ne bih bila sama, a istovremeno nemam strah od toga da nekoga pustim u svoj život kada se pojavi osoba sa kojom to bude obostrano.

Kakva je ovo vrsta osjećaja? I da li je ovo dobar znak?

Lično: Vidim ovo kao dobar znak, ali šta vi mislite o tome ako ste imali slično iskustvo.

Okej, manje-više znam šta mi je činiti, ali slobodno napišite šta god mislite, jer vjerujem da smo svi makar jednom imali onu jednu osobu u životu zbog koje se nakon svega pitamo: „Šta je meni ovo trebalo?“ 💀

Imam 22 godine i kao lezbejka sam imala nekoliko veza sa djevojkama, uključujući i veze koje su trajale preko dvije godine. Sa bivšim partnerkama sam se uglavnom razilazila normalno. Nekad bih ja raskinula, nekad one, ali nikada nije bilo potrebe za dramom, javnim prozivanjem ili uključivanjem drugih ljudi.

A onda sam upoznala ovu djevojku.

Počele smo da se dopisujemo u decembru prošle godine. Nekoliko mjeseci smo se upoznavale i zabavljale prije nego što smo odlučile da uđemo u vezu. Već tada je bilo nekih sitnih stvari koje su mi bile čudne, ali ništa što bih tada shvatila kao ozbiljan alarm. Mislila sam da sam samo oprezna i da možda previše analiziram ljude.

Ispostavilo se da nijesam.

Kada smo ušle u vezu, stvari su vrlo brzo počele da postaju sve čudnije. Ona je odrasla u veoma konzervativnoj i religioznoj sredini, a njena porodica je ranije saznala za njenu seksualnost i zbog toga je prošla kroz veoma ozbiljan religijski pritisak. Zbog toga sam u početku imala mnogo razumijevanja za njen konflikt između vjere i seksualnosti.

Problem je nastao kada je taj konflikt počeo da postaje i moj problem.

Često sam slušala priče o tome kako ne može istovremeno da bude gej i pobožna, kako bira između „Gospoda“ i mene, kako je homoseksualnost grijeh i kako bi trebalo da se odrekne svojih osjećanja. Razumjela sam odakle dio toga dolazi, ali razumijevanje ne znači da treba da trpim posljedice tuđeg neriješenog konflikta.

A tu nije bio kraj.

Nije imala mnogo razumijevanja za moj fakultet, posao niti činjenicu da sama plaćam svoje troškove. Kada bih bila umorna ili zauzeta, očekivala je moju pažnju kao da druge obaveze ne postoje. U jednom trenutku je očekivala i finansijsku pomoć od mene, iako sam tada radila težak fizički posao samo da bih mogla da platim kiriju, fakultet, hranu i ostale osnovne stvari.

Tada sam prvi put ozbiljno pomislila: čekaj, zašto se od mene očekuje da nosim i svoj i njen život?

Pored svega toga, imala je problema sa mojim životnim planovima. Često sam imala osjećaj da se od mene očekuje da smanjim sopstveni život kako bi se ona osjećala sigurnije.

Veza je trajala svega oko dva mjeseca, uz nekoliko mjeseci prethodnog upoznavanja i zabavljanja. Ali za ta dva mjeseca desilo se dovoljno stvari da sam se osjećala kao da sam u vezi mnogo duže.

Na kraju sam raskinula.

Mislila sam da će se tu sve završiti.

Naravno da nije. 💀

I tu sam, iskreno, shvatila nešto što tokom veze nijesam mogla da vidim.

Nije problem bio samo u njenoj vjeri, porodici ili traumama. Sve to može da objasni nečije ponašanje, ali ne može da ga opravda. Problem je bio i u tome što nije pokazivala gotovo nikakvu samorefleksiju niti spremnost da preuzme odgovornost za način na koji se ponaša prema drugoj osobi.

Umjesto da prihvati raskid, koji se desio upravo zbog njenog lošeg ponašanja, kao šlag na tortu odlučila je da na Redditu počne da piše ogromne, kilometarske objave o meni. To je trajalo praktično sve do skoro. Ako bi se u nekoj objavi pomenule bivše, znate šta bi uslijedilo. A nekad bi jednostavno sama od sebe pisala svoje priče gdje god je stigla.

Inače kako sam saznala da piše o meni na Redditu, jeste tako što je moja drugarica iz djetinstva kojoj sam povjerila ovu priču, doslovno isto to veče na Redditu naišla na objavu gdje je prepoznala da je to ona, i ispostavilo se da jeste.

A za tu moju drugaricu provjereno znam da joj nije rekla ništa, prvo što je ona nikada nije upoznala, a i dovoljno je poznajem da bih znala da me nikada nije odala.

Jer, očigledno joj je najveći problem to što sam ja bila ta koja je raskinula s njom i što sam je, nakon poruke u kojoj sam joj iskreno rekla da više ne mogu, dodatno blokirala.

Znate ono: „Ko sam ja da nju blokiram?“ tip osobe. 💀

I hajde, mislila sam da će stati na Redditu. Inače, ona ni ne zna da ja sada imam Reddit niti da mogu da vidim šta objavljuje i piše o meni. Međutim, očigledno ni to nije bilo dovoljno, pa je prešla i na Discord, mjesto gdje smo se prvobitno upoznale i dopisivale, gdje me sada proziva i po grupnim četovima.

Iskreno, mislim da mi je najbolje da se maknem s obje aplikacije i pustim cijelu priču da se ugasi. Mada, poznavajući njen dosadašnji način ponašanja, ne bih se iznenadila ni da još neko vrijeme nastavi.

Šta biste vi uradili na mom mjestu i šta biste mi vi rekli na sve ovo?

Pričala sam sa nekoliko ljudi o ovoj temi, pa me zanima i vaše mišljenje.

Šta za vas predstavlja ženstvenost, a šta muževnost kod djevojke ili žene?

Primijetila sam da pojedine djevojke ženstvenost svode isključivo na fizički izgled, recimo na to da žena ima dugu kosu ili određeni stil oblačenja.

Meni je to mnogo širi pojam. Smatram da ženstvenost i muževnost čine čitav spektar osobina, od stava, načina ponašanja i energije koju neko nosi, pa do stila oblačenja. Dužina kose je, po mom mišljenju, najmanje bitna.

Zanima me i kako vi gledate na podjele poput femme, butch i masc. Imam utisak da su mnoge djevojke prilično opterećene tim etiketama, što mi je pomalo neobično.

Naravno da fizički izgled i stil mogu biti dio onoga što nas privuče kod nekoga, ali zar na kraju nije mnogo važnije kakva je ta osoba kao čovjek?
Jer vidim da je nekima samo to vrlo bitno, a to da analiziraju na prvim dejtovima je li to okej osoba uopšte, ni ne prolazi kroz glavu.

Hello everyone!

This is a bit random, but I’m curious. :)

Does anyone know what happened to the girl who used to sing near the post office in Budva, Montenegro?

I absolutely loved listening to her. She was incredibly talented and always made every cover sound unique in her own style, which made her performances so special.

My fiancée and I used to sit on a nearby bench just to listen to her sing. This is the second year I haven’t seen or heard her, even though she had been performing there for many years before.

She used to sing and play the guitar, and as far as I know, she was a local who lived in Budva.

Does anyone know where she is or why she isn’t singing there anymore? I hope she’s doing well.

What’s your opinion on long distance relationships?

Do you think that after sometimes of seeing each other in different countries, there is a possibility for you guys to live somewhere together permanently?

Or is it just too stressful and not worth it at all?
Knowing that you can’t hug, kiss, talk to your partner face-to-face, hold hands, and overall have that general physical connection.
( I’m not talking about anything sexual )

Us lesbians often fall into long distance relationships, and what’s your experience with them?

Do you think it’s not worth it? Or is it only worth it when the person really likes you and is committed?

Throughout my whole life, I’ve always struggled with personal hygiene and I want to fix that.

Honestly, maybe it’s very stupid that I’m writing this on Reddit and asking this type of question, while TikTok is around, but I still want to know some real personal advice and recommendations.
I also suffer from high functioning autism.

-

I’m usually that type of person that will shower once in every two days, so including my hair and body.
I never change underwear throughout the day, and I can also wear the same jeans, or denim specifically shorts, for more than one day, and I mean that as in, I don’t feel any type of ,,ick” from it.
I also find myself wearing the exact same socks for literally weeks, and such.

If I had to go to school, I would try my best to always look presentable and everything.
But I have some sort of messy look that I probably developed from not taking regular care of myself, and even though I don’t smell, you can kind of always see that, I have a very untamed look.

My mom, and in general, my family never showed me how to take proper care of myself.
I grew up in a very disruptive household, plus my mom is very depressed, and she’s kind of the same type of hygiene ( almost ), as me.

I believe that we look up to our parents, and what we see that they do, we can also imitate, especially when you’re younger.
I just started to live alone because of college, could you please tell me, everything that I should do to always keep my hygiene up and what is the most proper way to take care of myself as a woman.

By the way, I’m from Europe, so if you’re recommending products, recommend them if they are available in Europe.
Also, I like minty and lavender scented things, I also wax my whole complete body.

Thank you in advance for all your help and I hope you understand where I’m coming from, because it wasn’t easy 🫂

I touched on this topic with a childhood friend a few days ago. Although she is straight, we have noticed that this is also happening in the LGBT community.

I have the impression that more and more people today go from extreme to extreme and that somehow the middle ground for a healthy and stable relationship has disappeared. You either end up with a person who is not separated from you and does not respect your boundaries, or with someone who is completely emotionally unavailable, cold and toxic.

Don't get me wrong, it's nice when someone shows love and attention. But I'm referring to people who expect their partner to be available to them 24 hours a day, who do not respect your time and boundaries, and who only seek you out when they need attention, while completely ignoring your needs.

I have the impression that today's partner is expected to be everything at once, psychologist, psychiatrist, parent, best friend and emotional punching bag. Honestly, I've had very bad experiences with both types of people and I don't know which is worse.

Of course, there is also the other extreme, people who are only looking for one-night stands or a short fling with false promises. However, I have a feeling that nowadays, at least, they openly say what they want more often, although there are still those who lead others by the nose.

In my opinion, a relationship should be something that will mark a beautiful period of life. To grow with that person, to learn from each other, to be both partners and friends. To be able to laugh together, but also to be supportive of each other when it's difficult. To honestly point out flaws when necessary, but with respect and a desire to both be better people.

And not to be cold bastards to each other or to bombard someone's phone to the point that you become annoying because of your intrusiveness.

I'm sorry, but that's just how I see it. Maybe I'm not completely right either, but that's my opinion. 👀☕

Dotakla sam se ove teme sa drugaricom iz djetinjstva prije nekoliko dana. Iako je ona strejt, primijetile smo da se ovo dešava i u LGBT zajednici.

Imam utisak da danas sve više ljudi ide iz krajnosti u krajnost i da je nekako nestala sredina za jedan zdrav i stabilan odnos. Ili završite sa osobom koja se ne odvaja od vas i ne poštuje vaše granice, ili sa nekim ko je potpuno emocionalno nedostupan, hladan i toksičan.

Da me ne shvatite pogrešno, lijepo je kada neko pokazuje ljubav i pažnju. Ali ovdje mislim na ljude koji od partnera očekuju da im bude dostupan 24 sata dnevno, koji ne poštuju vaše vrijeme i granice, i koji vas traže samo onda kada njima treba pažnja, dok vaše potrebe potpuno zanemaruju.

Imam utisak da se danas od partnera očekuje da bude sve odjednom, psiholog, psihijatar, roditelj, najbolji prijatelj i emotivna vreća za udaranje. Iskreno, imala sam veoma loša iskustva sa oba tipa ljudi i ne znam šta je gore.

Naravno, tu je i druga krajnost, ljudi koji traže samo seks za jednu noć ili neku kratku avanturu uz lažna obećanja. Doduše, imam osjećaj da danas bar češće otvoreno kažu šta žele, iako i dalje ima onih koji vode druge za nos.

Po mom mišljenju, veza bi trebalo da bude nešto što će obilježiti lijep period života. Da uz tu osobu rastete, učite jedno od drugog, budete i partneri i prijatelji. Da zajedno možete da se smijete, ali i da budete podrška jedno drugom kada je teško. Da iskreno ukažete na mane kada je potrebno, ali sa poštovanjem i željom da oboje budete bolji ljudi.

A ne da budete hladna đubrad jedno prema drugom ili da nekome bombardujete telefon do te mjere da zbog nametljivosti postanete naporni.

Žao mi je, ali ja to jednostavno tako vidim. Možda ni ja nisam potpuno u pravu, ali eto… to je moje mišljenje. 👀☕

Zanima me da li se još nekome dešava ovo ili sam samo ja počela češće da nailazim na takve ljude.

U posljednje vrijeme mi se dosta ljudi javlja u Reddit DM, najčešće žene (ili bar osobe koje se tako predstavljaju). Razgovor obično počne sasvim normalno, kažu da sam im zanimljiva, elokventna i da bi voljele da se dopisujemo.

Međutim, vrlo brzo priča pređe na to da moram da im pošaljem svoju sliku kako bi znale s kim razgovaraju. Meni to iskreno djeluje previše naglo, pogotovo zato što sam zbog ranijih iskustava potpuno protiv traženja partnera preko interneta.

Online poznanstva su mi sasvim okej, čak sam preko ovog subreddita upoznala nekoliko stvarno sjajnih ljudi, ali ovo mi već prelazi granicu.

Posebno mi je sumnjivo što su to gotovo uvijek profili bez pravog imena, bez uređenog avatara i sa vrlo malo karme.
-

Naravno da odmah postavim granicu i blokiram takve profile. Ovo me više zanima uopšteno, koliko se često i vama dešavaju ovakve situacije? Reddit koristim tek relativno kratko.

I want to share my honest experience of dating an older woman.

This happened quite some time ago, but it’s something I’ve been reflecting on ever since, and I feel it’s worth talking about.

Back in November 2025, I met a woman on Discord completely by chance. There was no intention of dating when we first started talking,we were simply getting to know each other. As our conversations continued, I felt we had good chemistry, and eventually we decided to meet in person.

She had sent me several photos beforehand and looked perfectly normal, so I had no reason to question anything.

We met at an LGBTQ+ friendly bar where I currently live for university. She lived in a smaller town nearby and drove to see me. The date itself went well. She insisted on paying for our drinks, which I appreciated, although I’m generally the type of person who prefers to pay for my own, especially on a first date.

At the time, I was in my early twenties, while she was in her mid-to-late forties. I don’t think the age difference itself was the problem, but it’s relevant to the story.

Afterward, she drove me close to my apartment. I intentionally didn’t give her my exact address, so I asked her to drop me off a few minutes away and walked the rest of the way home.

We kept seeing each other, and after spending more time together, we decided to give a relationship a chance.

That turned out to be a mistake.

Very early on, I began noticing increasingly controlling behaviour. I don’t know whether it stemmed from insecurity, excitement about the relationship, or something else entirely, but she constantly tried to dictate how our relationship should function.

She identified as a butch lesbian and was also a stone top, neither of which bothered me in the slightest. Those aspects of her identity weren’t the issue. What frightened me was how much that need for control extended far beyond intimacy and into everyday life.

For example, if I told her I couldn’t see her one week because of university or personal obligations, she would completely break down. She would cry over the phone, genuinely sobbing, and guilt-trip me into rearranging my schedule so I could make time for her.

Unfortunately, this became a recurring pattern.

Our relationship lasted only about a month, yet during that short time I witnessed behaviour that left a lasting impression on me.

As time went on, she also revealed something she hadn’t told me when we first met: she had a long history of mental health issues. She openly admitted that she refused psychiatric treatment and no longer believed in therapy. According to her, every psychiatrist and psychologist she’d ever seen wanted to “change” her because they were intimidated by what she described as her “superior self.”

That explanation immediately raised red flags for me.

As the relationship progressed, I found myself emotionally exhausted. She demanded constant attention and had very little respect for my personal responsibilities or boundaries. If I didn’t reply immediately, she’d become upset or accuse me of not caring enough.

The moment that ultimately ended the relationship wasn’t just the emotional manipulation.

One evening, while she was staying over at my apartment, she tried to initiate sexual intimacy. I told her I was exhausted and simply wanted to go to sleep. Despite me saying no, she continued trying to initiate something anyway.

I don’t want to go into detail about what happened afterward, but I can say that it left me deeply uncomfortable. Fortunately, I stood my ground and didn’t allow my boundaries to be crossed.
( by the way, I was OK. Nothing happened to me in that way. )

Looking back, that experience was genuinely traumatic.

One of the biggest lessons I took away from it is that age should never be mistaken for emotional maturity. Society often pushes the idea, especially online, that dating someone significantly older automatically means they’ll be more stable, wiser, or emotionally healthier.

That simply wasn’t my experience.

Will I date someone older again?

Yes.

This experience didn’t make me believe that all older women are like this, because they’re not. People are individuals, regardless of age.

What it did teach me is to take far more time getting to know someone before entering a relationship and to pay close attention to early warning signs instead of dismissing them.

It also taught me that meeting potential partners through random Discord conversations probably isn’t the best idea.

In the end, I don’t regret learning the lesson, I just wish it hadn’t come at such a high emotional cost.

I’m going to Budva in about a month. Can you tell me your experiences there if you ever busked.

Thank you in advance!

I want to share my honest experience of dating an older woman.

This happened quite some time ago, but it’s something I’ve been reflecting on ever since, and I feel it’s worth talking about.

Back in November 2025, I met a woman on Discord completely by chance. There was no intention of dating when we first started talking,we were simply getting to know each other. As our conversations continued, I felt we had good chemistry, and eventually we decided to meet in person.

She had sent me several photos beforehand and looked perfectly normal, so I had no reason to question anything.

We met at an LGBTQ+ friendly bar where I currently live for university. She lived in a smaller town nearby and drove to see me. The date itself went well. She insisted on paying for our drinks, which I appreciated, although I’m generally the type of person who prefers to pay for my own, especially on a first date.

At the time, I was in my early twenties, while she was in her mid-to-late forties. I don’t think the age difference itself was the problem, but it’s relevant to the story.

Afterward, she drove me close to my apartment. I intentionally didn’t give her my exact address, so I asked her to drop me off a few minutes away and walked the rest of the way home.

We kept seeing each other, and after spending more time together, we decided to give a relationship a chance.

That turned out to be a mistake.

Very early on, I began noticing increasingly controlling behaviour. I don’t know whether it stemmed from insecurity, excitement about the relationship, or something else entirely, but she constantly tried to dictate how our relationship should function.

She identified as a butch lesbian and was also a stone top, neither of which bothered me in the slightest. Those aspects of her identity weren’t the issue. What frightened me was how much that need for control extended far beyond intimacy and into everyday life.

For example, if I told her I couldn’t see her one week because of university or personal obligations, she would completely break down. She would cry over the phone, genuinely sobbing, and guilt-trip me into rearranging my schedule so I could make time for her.

Unfortunately, this became a recurring pattern.

Our relationship lasted only about a month, yet during that short time I witnessed behaviour that left a lasting impression on me.

As time went on, she also revealed something she hadn’t told me when we first met: she had a long history of mental health issues. She openly admitted that she refused psychiatric treatment and no longer believed in therapy. According to her, every psychiatrist and psychologist she’d ever seen wanted to “change” her because they were intimidated by what she described as her “superior self.”

That explanation immediately raised red flags for me.

As the relationship progressed, I found myself emotionally exhausted. She demanded constant attention and had very little respect for my personal responsibilities or boundaries. If I didn’t reply immediately, she’d become upset or accuse me of not caring enough.

The moment that ultimately ended the relationship wasn’t just the emotional manipulation.

One evening, while she was staying over at my apartment, she tried to initiate sexual intimacy. I told her I was exhausted and simply wanted to go to sleep. Despite me saying no, she continued trying to initiate something anyway.

I don’t want to go into detail about what happened afterward, but I can say that it left me deeply uncomfortable. Fortunately, I stood my ground and didn’t allow my boundaries to be crossed.
( by the way, I was OK. Nothing happened to me in that way. )

Looking back, that experience was genuinely traumatic.

One of the biggest lessons I took away from it is that age should never be mistaken for emotional maturity. Society often pushes the idea, especially online, that dating someone significantly older automatically means they’ll be more stable, wiser, or emotionally healthier.

That simply wasn’t my experience.

Will I date someone older again?

Yes.

This experience didn’t make me believe that all older women are like this, because they’re not. People are individuals, regardless of age.

What it did teach me is to take far more time getting to know someone before entering a relationship and to pay close attention to early warning signs instead of dismissing them.

It also taught me that meeting potential partners through random Discord conversations probably isn’t the best idea.

In the end, I don’t regret learning the lesson, I just wish it hadn’t come at such a high emotional cost.

Would you be with someone, regarding if their female or a male, that doesn’t have a stable job or a job at all.
And expects you to pay for their things, and to in general finance them.

As a woman, that is lesbian, I came across a couple of girls that expected that for me, and later I was called all sorts of names because I didn’t want to finance them.
And personally, I don’t care, but I see there is a very big agenda pushed, not just the queer community, but in general, especially to men.

Like they’re obligated (men), to finance other women, especially if they’re capable of getting a job, if they’re not disabled or something like that.

I know it can also be that they are raised to be providers, in their family it’s taught like that.
But I see it is a very stupid thing, even if you’re a man or a woman, because, you should not finest anyone and expect them, to finance you as well.

This world has become very expensive, because of inflation that’s going around and everything, and I don’t see it equal for people to finance one person and everything in the whole relationship.

And the other person mostly just doesn’t give a damn.

Ps.
Like I said, it can also be that some people are raised in that way, that they think it’s OK for them to finance other people and stuff.
And it’s OK if you’re like that and if you think that’s right, feel free to say your opinion.
But personally, for me one of the most important things is for them to have a job, and not for me to finance them.
They don’t need to make a lot of money, but a decent amount for them to pay for their own things.

The question is in the post itself.

I’m asking this as in, did you have better experiences, dating neurodivergent people or Neurotypical people when it comes to your personal space and understanding?

By the way, I’m lesbian so I’m dating women, but feel free to talk about your experiences, no matter or sexuality.

The question is in the post itself.

I’m asking this as in, did you have better experiences, dating neurodivergent people or Neurotypical people when it comes to your personal space and understanding?

By the way, I’m lesbian so I’m dating women, but feel free to talk about your experiences, no matter or sexuality.

The question is in the post itself.

I’m asking this as in, did you have better experiences, dating neurodivergent people or Neurotypical people when it comes to your personal space and understanding?

By the way, I’m lesbian so I’m dating women, but feel free to talk about your experiences, no matter or sexuality.

I have Asperger’s and ADHD.

The question is in the post itself.

I’m asking this as in, did you have better experiences, dating neurodivergent people or Neurotypical people when it comes to your personal space and understanding?

By the way, I’m lesbian so I’m dating women, but feel free to talk about your experiences, no matter or sexuality.

I have dyslexia, dysgraphia, ADHD and Asperger’s

Pozdrav svima.

Nije važno da li ste lezbejka ili ne, voljela bih da svako slobodno podijeli svoje iskreno mišljenje.

Zanima me da li biste bili u vezi sa osobom koja ima funkcionalni autizam, ADHD ili oba stanja zajedno. Riječ je o neurorazvojnim poremećajima, što znači da nisu nešto što se može “izliječiti”, već predstavljaju urođene karakteristike koje će u određenoj mjeri uvijek biti prisutne, bez obzira na terapiju ili rad na sebi.

Zašto ovo pitam?

Možda ste ispratili moje ranije objave o bivšoj djevojci koja nije bila autovana roditeljima i koja se istovremeno borila sa svojim religijskim uvjerenjima. Osim svega što se dešavalo u našoj vezi, u jednom periodu je pisala o meni i na ovom subredditu.

U jednoj objavi je opisivala moj “tantrum”, odnosno trenutak kada sam burno reagovala nakon što sam izgubila ključeve od stana. Ono što nije pomenula jeste da sam ključeve ranije nosila zakačene karabinerom za farmerke upravo zato što znam da zbog ADHD-a lakše gubim sitne stvari. Ona je insistirala da to skinem jer joj je, kako je rekla, izgledalo ružno i odbojno. Nakon toga sam ključeve izgubila.

Za svoju reakciju sam se kasnije izvinila i preuzela odgovornost. Međutim, smatram da nije bilo u redu što je naš privatni problem iznijela na internet, pogotovo zato što ja nijedan naš konflikt nikada nisam javno dijelila.

Naravno, ovo ne govorim da bih opravdavala sebe ili druge neurodivergentne osobe.

Ali zaista vjerujem da smo mnogi od nas izuzetno inteligentni i često veoma talentovani u oblastima koje nas zanimaju. Uz malo razumijevanja, strpljenja i dobru komunikaciju, možemo biti potpuno funkcionalni, pouzdani i ostvariti zdrave odnose sa ljudima koji nisu neurodivergentni.

Naravno, važan dio toga je i lična odgovornost. Smatram da svako treba da radi na sebi, bilo kroz psihoterapiju, razvijanje zdravijih obrazaca ponašanja ili druge oblike podrške. Ja to, na primjer, radim.

Istovremeno, mogu da razumijem i ljude kojima je teško da shvate kako funkcionišu osobe poput nas. Kao što oni nekada ne razumiju naša iskustva, tako ni mi ne možemo uvijek u potpunosti razumjeti njihova. Zato mislim da su međusobno razumijevanje, otvorena komunikacija i spremnost da se saslušamo mnogo važniji od samih dijagnoza.

Zbog svega toga ostalo mi je jedno pitanje.

Da li biste vi bili u vezi sa osobom koja ima ADHD, funkcionalni autizam ili oba stanja? Da li vam je to prepreka ili ne?

Sjećam se da je u toj objavi napisala kako želi da me promijeni i da smatra da moje ponašanje može da se “izliječi”. To me navelo da se zapitam da li ljudi zaista gledaju na neurodivergentne osobe na taj način.

Iskreno me zanima vaše mišljenje. Da li smatrate da osobe poput mene imaju jednako mjesto u dejting svijetu ili mislite da bi ovakve stvari za vas bile prevelik izazov?