r/LifeAfterNarcissism

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2 years ago I realized all the BS I have dealt with my whole life was due to my mother being a covert narcissist - TEXTBOOK case. Every thing I do or say is a criticism of her, she is the victim and the reason her life didn’t turn out great for her is because of me. I am quite successful and have a very loving husband and great friends. We had a huge fight this week because it’s my birthday and she has to give me a gift and be nice and she can’t.

I asked her if she wanted me in her life and she said no. Father passed away 15 years ago and went through the same BS with her but couldn’t leave. I have no other blood relatives so this is sad for me but now I realize it’s time for me to. Maybe in the coming days my heart will mend slightly but it is permanently broken of what could have been.

I survived a really bad situation and i don’t really care anymore or at least i try not to care but i have bad dreams every night and it has to do with that situation i endured for so long. And it happens every night non stop.

Please tell me this feeling gets better?? I literally feel so alone.

10 years together, 9 married. 4 kids.

It’s crazy you can miss a person but know they aren’t good for you. & have the will power not to want them back. This abuse cycle is absolutely crazy. One minute I miss him, next I hate him, next I’m lonely, next I’m fine. Does it get better?

hi all. i recently got discarded by a long-term narcissistic partner. i blocked them on everything, so they have no way to hoover. or so i thought.

i’ve recently started using facebook again. lately i’ve just been reposting still images (quotes, sunsets, etc.) to my story, and i noticed a relative of his saw my most recent one. we aren’t friends. and i’ve never had a non-friend’s story suggested to me before.

my question is this: does that for sure mean she was snooping on my profile? i’m worried this is the start of an attempt at contact or another mind game. or is it possible that my story popped up in her feed despite not being friends…? i’ve never even looked at her profile.

any help is much appreciated!

Something happened today that really shook me.

I’ve been having recurring nightmares about my narcissistic family. In the dreams, I’m usually fighting with them, defending myself, or feeling like I’m in some kind of war with them.

But today was different.
I woke up actually speaking and shouting at my mother.

I was so immersed in the dream that I apparently continued talking/shouting after waking up.

My wife was next to me and became scared because she didn’t immediately understand what was happening.

It honestly scared me too once I realized I was awake.
During the day, I’m trying to move on from my family and the whole situation. I’m no-contact and I don’t want to keep living in that conflict. Yet somehow my brain seems to continue the fight while I’m asleep.

Has anyone experienced something similar after going no-contact with narcissistic parents?
Have you ever talked, shouted, or physically reacted during a nightmare about them?
Did it eventually stop, and what helped you?