r/actuallesbians

Without sharing too much detail, there was something I looked down upon sexually…like nah, not for me, AT ALL. buutttt my partner did it (with my consent) and now I can’t get enough of it. She literally has me begging her to do it more & it’s the quickest way to make me burst now.

I absolutely hate that she won. She‘s so smug b/c I usually top her and have her flustered/begging. I told her to wait until I get my get back (& I always get my get back).

Literally the best sex and dynamic ever , I wish the same for y’all. SPECIFICALLY my fellow switches, cause it’s hard finding actual bonafide switches out in the wild.

hi so I'm hoping to try dating in the near future but I'm worried there's no point trying or that it'll just end in disappointment for everyone. I'm high risk for infections and whilst I've found a lifestyle that works and doesn't interfere with any of my interpersonal relationships (non romantic/sexual), obviously there's not really a good way to mitigate/accommodate for kissing (particularly on the lips) except for not doing it. so I'd be entering the dating pool with a baseline of no kissing (who knows about in the future). are there even any people out there who would want to go on a date with someone like that? would it just upset everyone if I was trying to meet girls? (I would like to make more sapphic friends too though like if I went to queer socials)

it’s wonder if any of those folks have irl friends

anyway, i’m playing Pokemon Heart and Soul which is a gen 2 remake for GBA. I love pokemon so much, my partner never really was into them but she is a gamer (she’s playing through Red Dead Redemption 2 rn) and seeing if i can convince her to play one of the pokemon games on switch that are more open world. The new games are a bit too easy and geared for children so idk if she’ll get bored with them.

anyway, nothing else to say, just rolling my eyes at these ladies who got nothing better to do than waste away their evenings being cruel for no reason

I've found that people want sex fast and on demand, that if they don't get the orgasms they want when they want it they either look outside of the relationship for it or can't stay with me. I think an average of twice a week is reasonable, but a lot of people seem to think anything less than at the drop of a hat is neglectful on my part.

I haven't really had any good sex, it was always treated as something I had to do and owed to them and it took me a long time to learn that coercion and hot/cold behaviors as a sort of punishment isn't okay or normal.

The next relationship I have, I'll need time to be comfortable with having sex. Likely at least a month while being exclusive before we can start trying things. It'll be from the ground up, too. I'd love if we could start small and slow and make it loving and romantic and special. I'd love if it could be loving and special for once, and not just me accommodating their urges and compromising my own consent just to keep peace.

I never want it to be a cheap transaction ever again. I'd love if she could care about me intimately on top of all the other basics and minimums to a relationship.

This would require patience and sacrifice from her, a higher level of care and thoughtfulness than usual. I need a lot of non-sexual intimacy as well, which people can find to be teasing. I hope I can find someone who doesn't feel that way. She'd have to stay loyal while I'm not ready for sex, which I would love and appreciate her for endlessly. I'd absolutely spoil a girl who could do these things for me.

But I ask you, fellow sapphics, is this.. attainable? Would you be willing to be patient with sex in a new relationship? Even through non-sexual intimacy and my struggle with trauma? I'll do my own work to keep her pleased and take care of myself and not let myself go, but I'm hoping I can find someone who can be patient and caring and attentive.

Would this work for you? Would you be willing to be patient and loving without immediate payout? Are there people willing to do these things?

If you're out there... I'll cherish you endlessly and make sure you never want for anything. You'd be more than I could ever hope for.

Today me and my friend talked about a teacher that doesn't teach us anymore she made me realize I may have had good grades in his class just because I have boobs which now makes me feel grossed out about my own body. Like genuinely we could've learnt from the same notes and she would still fail or get worse grades than me somehow and I knew about it but I never thought that it could be because I have boobs and she's flat... He would also help me sometimes when he quizzed me after classes but I thought he did it for everyone or smth. I knew he was gross because most girls would wear low cut shirts or shorter skirts because they would have it easier in his class but I never thought this applied to me especially that I hate showing any skin so I never did anything like that. Idk it made me feel kinda gross about my body and I needed to vent. Men are gross and everyday I get more and more convinced that hate towards cis het men is totally justified and reasonable. I was 14 - 15 when he was still teaching us so it's even more gross imo...

Me and and girlfriend have been heavy smokers for a while and we have been dating for just over a year. We also live together. I have quit smoking a few months ago and my smell and taste is back.

We bonded over smoking a pack a day, smoking in bed, in the car, everywhere.

My girlfriend still smokes heavily and I hate that I can't stand her cigarette breath. She said she plans on never quitting smoking.

I ask her to brush her teeth and it smells like a mix of cigarettes and toothpaste. I tell her to brush a little better and yet the smell is still there.

.

I have told her her breath doesnt smell good when we try and get intimate and she retracts and gets sad and doesnt feel sexy anymore. I compliment her and tell her she's beautiful and sexy, I feel awful commenting on her breath.

Its gotten to the point that I have stopped kissing her frequently having sex frequently

I feel like a dick but Im also growing impatient, suddenly smell is a supper important thing for me when it comes to attraction.

I dont know what else to do, she's so sweet and kind and beautiful and i feel so safe around her.

We used to have such amazing sex, but my body just closes up now I dont like her smell.

when did you guys start getting into casual/hook-up sex and how did you start training your mind to not be attached to every person you share a bed with?

last sunday, i found a lady on a dating app and never thought she would reply to my flirtatious opening because she looked way out of my league, but she did and after flirting back and forth, she insisted on taking me out to dinner surprisingly on the exact same day. the flirting that we did was kinda raunchy? so i had a feeling that it would end with more than just a dinner yk? which i didn’t mind at all. lately, i’ve been super busy and emotionally exhausted that i just don’t see a relationship in my cards just yet. i just needed a quick release, so i went.

in our chats, she was super assertive, but when we got together she was pretty quiet. she confessed it was actually her first date and she’s super shy 😭 so i initially felt bad for assuming that this was just a casual thing. i teased her abt her shyness but would also yk treat it like a normal date.

but then she suddenly said “i just need to pregame so i won’t be shy anymore” and actually ordered a bunch of drinks throughout the entire date. we also went to the movies after and she ordered more drinks there. she started getting more loose lipped, comfortable, and even handsy during the movie (which again, i didn’t mind).

HOWEVER, i knew that with all that drinking, she was evidently tipsy or even just lowkey drunk (like she started being rlly loud in the movie theater so i told her we should go back to her car, while walking back she had a slight tilt to her steps, and then when we went to a shady parking lot she was driving weird). i told her IMMEDIATELY that if she wanted to do anything, she needed to say it, because i wasn’t going to di anything knowing she was a couple drinks in. she told me she does, so we started making out and fondling each other. she wanted to top me but lowkey it was hilariously bad and messy because i could tell she was drunk, even tho she denied it 😭😭 so i never let both of us go beyond just making out and grinding, had her drink water, would check on her throughout the entire thing.

but then she dropped like. this bomb on me ig? so context, she told me over dinner that she’s part of the navy and she’s only in my city until december. i took her shyness as disinterest in taking anything serious too. but then when we were in the car i joked abt going to the state she was originally from and she said yeah. and then while we were making out, she started saying things like “your eyes really capture me” “i really really like you” “i want to keep seeing you” “no i don’t want just a hook up, i want to take this seriously, i feel like i skipped over so much steps (of getting to know you)”

so im like?? confused??? because again i would be fine if this is casual or not. i also know she was drunk as shit. but like after that i told her to text me if she got home safe, and then she did but she also just said like “let’s link again” and how she has a free room for the weekend if i wanted to/was available to. we did talk about the date and she said she really enjoyed it and she said i was so sweet, but after that it’s just been flirting and a series of “come overs” jokingly between us. idk?? im telling myself i shouldn’t be that bothered by it but at the very least i do want a casual fwb if she’s going back on being serious. ik i can easily solve this by communicating but like idekkk if she’ll take my question seriously. she’s been kinda distant too. should i even ask?

That's it. That's the post.

She's awesome. >!And mine, you can't have her. I already called dibs.!<

More people need to realize that women can look awesome with buzz cuts, especially if they have pretty faces. The texture is also awesome to run your fingers through, and it’s really easy to keep clean so they almost always smell great. I love women with buzz cuts.