r/actuallesbians

I was thinking abt that while eating and while i understand where its coming from i can't help but feel frustrated by this statement bcs i never had to "control myself" around other women, i never had urges to resist when i was at a sleepover or in changing room in sports i simply don't objectify girls , i could care less abt another girl i don't know in a bathing suit , i can find girl attractive and think "oh she's my type" on the street but imagining her in a sexual way is not something that would even come to my mind , society sell us how men act towards us as innate and just the laws of nature when its simply not , its a direct consequance of patriarchy (btw i also know there is some lesbian agressor i wasn't trying to diminish that i was just talking abt this point in particular)

this situation is a complete mind fuck but lemme explain this is merely a summarization with some examples that have happened between us. (way more shi but ion feel like writing allat)

Here is the full summary of everything that happened, written directly from your perspective as the stud, using your exact wording, examples, and situations:

I got close with this straight girl coworker right about 5 weeks into the job, and I was only there for 4 months. She would always initiate physical contact, choke me, pull me in, and whisper shit in my ear and shit. She would accidentally put her ass on me, and both our legs would be touching and nobody moves. Our hands would be touching and nobody moves. Like, why aren’t you moving your hand when I'm trying to use the computer? Why leave it there knowing it’s going to touch?
She told me she only stayed at the job because of me. She asked me how I give head. She told me she likes making me feel good and likes listening to me, and she would caress my arm. One time she was tattooing her name on my arm, then erasing it so she could just rub my arm, and then she said, "Ya girl gone get mad if she see this." Then she tried to do it on my neck, moved my dreads out of the way, then quickly stopped because she caught herself getting too close. She would be all over me one day then cold the next. this was a continuous thing nd she only did that shi wimme. if this was merely ego and validation and attention seeking why not be all over me everyday why be on me one day then cold the next act like ion even exist yk. She told me to lay with her, and she was always play-fighting with me, always checking where I was at, with a lot of eye contact, lingering touches, banter, and play-fighting. Like when we be talking righ we hold them gazes like idk how to explain it but we be lookin at each other like hard as hell idk if that makes sense. it was way too much touchin for us to jus be co workers yk. and then like i swear she’d be givin me this flirty look like she’ll tilt ha head nd smile nd shi idk man this is fucking me up cus it’s been multiple situations where i’m like nahh u can’t be doin this nd u straigh 😂

I never flirted back because I would always ask her if I did something to make her uncomfortable. So I just let her do whatever to me, but I would never touch her the way she does to me. She has a boyfriend now though. She got into the relationship I wanna say 2 weeks before I left, but she kept doing everything while still having a boyfriend, and lowkey it started to ramp up more because I pulled back. So that last week she was all over me because I was pulling back. Why do that when you have a boyfriend? The neck thing and the arm thing happened after she got her boyfriend, so I don't know. She was all over me for 4 days straight before I left.
When we got into it, she ignored me for a couple days. If we just normal co workers and we apologized after the fight why keep ignoring me then ignored me on my birthday act like she forgot my bday but was the one who wanted me to come on my bday. And we don’t speak when we see each other, we gotta warm up first. why is that? other co workers i speak normally to. Why would she stay for me when she could've just gone to school (college) and dealt with that instead of juggling school and work?

This one time an old lady told her I had a crush on her, this was a couple months back. She ain't even believe it so she never said anything. I texted her, of course lied about not having a crush on her, but also apologizing if I made her uncomfortable, and I sent a vm. She called me because she ain't wanna do it over text and was like, "I didn’t even believe it when she told me, I didn’t think I was your type, you know I'm straight and don’t look at you that way and you didn’t make me uncomfortable."

Fast forward, I confessed I have a crush, but you know I made it funny as hell. But she said she knew, like why are you lying? Her texts said this: "and I mean I kinda figured but it wasnt a big deal cause I don’t roll that way 🤷🏽*‍♀️ so I’m not gone be acting no different… once you was saying I was pretty and stuff I kinda thought you had a lil crush anyway bro you use to be flirting real *hard 🤣🤣🤣 oh please you know i’m telling the truth."
I never flirted with her, dawg. Why would I make her uncomfortable by flirting with her constantly, you know? I wasn't even putting nothing on her though, that's the thing. All I was saying was I wouldn’t flirt with her out of respect of her sexuality and not wanting to make her uncomfortable, and that she couldn’t have known about the crush when it came out her own mouth saying she didn’t think I did. I brought it up one time that she kept poking me on the head while I was trying to talk to my homeboy. She had a look on her face like, "wtf I didn’t do that," but she did. You see how she be denying things like she obviously could tell that’s some flirty stuff, begging for my attention by keeping popping me on the head while I'm actively in another conversation, and mind you she had a boyfriend at this time.

Before I sent those vms, I said, "Don't even respond to this because I’m finna get on your ass in this vm hold up 😂*"* but like I'm playing, you know. Then I cleared it up, and she left me on seen again because she know I was right. Don't try and flip it on me. And if it wasn’t a big deal, why leave me on seen for a day, then ask my homeboy if I was coming up there today? It was a Monday, they work together. She clearly wanted to talk to me, but the manager was tripping so she couldn't stay. She only responded because I posted on my close friends later on that night. That's when she responded, then I cleared it up and got left on seen again.

On Tuesday night, I went up to the job to see my homeboy, but we didn’t talk to each other. I tried to say hello, but she was acting weird. She ain’t look up when she usually do when I walk in, so I ain’t wave or say wassup. I was just laughing and stuff with my homeboy. My homeboy said she wasn’t really looking at me, but she would do a couple glances but not the usual, you know. I was getting some jerky from the vending machine and it got stuck. My homeboy asked her if he could shake the machine, so then she made a little comment to me talking about, "You always eating that nasty ass jerky," and me being funny was like, "Who talking?" and told her to shut up. But you know we playing, but that was it. Tuesday was weird because when I be goin up there she smiles at me yk nd always scanning the room to see where i’m at and when i catch her looking at me she give me that lil attitude face 😂 but she ain’t do none of that

But for the update, I ain't go to work right, but my homeboy texted me saying the kids got the answer right to the question I had put up, because I do that sometimes, I miss them kids. He said that I owe the kids money now right because they got it right. So my homeboy calls me to tell me, right? Then she jump in the call talking about, "You know you owe the kids $20 right." And I was being sarcastic sayin duh nigga, but we was talking for a good 8-9 minutes just going back and forth with our jokes and stuff. Later on, I told my homeboy to see if she can make me some Kool-Aid pickles, and she was telling my homeboy to tell me to text her what I want. She is literally going out her way to make me these pickles, dawg. She don’t even got the stuff, she’s going to the store to get the ingredients to make it from scratch.

am i fckin crazy dawg like ts pissin me off cus idk but i do know cus body language don’t lie but at the same time wat if she ain’t aware of wat she doin but then again u make a conscious decision to leave ya body part next to mine idk man ts been drivin me nuts ever since i started workin with her shi still drive me nuts and ion even work wit shorty no more. like the power she got over me is crazy dawg DAMN hate ts

I'm from a very conservative country, and my parents don't know I'm a lesbian. I'm always watching queer tv shows. My family thinks that's weird, but they've never really said anything. They have never been exposed to queer people or queer content, and they think queerness is "abnormal". My mother is fine with other people being gay, but not her children. My dad is not really in the picture.

Today, as usual, I was watching a gay movie, and my mom came in and asked me why I was never watching straight stuff. She was like you can talk to me, it's fine. She likes to think she's a "progressive" mom, and she went, "If you only like this and you have an aversion towards normal media, we can go for counselling." My parents did not have a good relationship, and my mother thinks that's why I don't like men. At this point, I was just dumbfounded. I could tell she wanted me to reassure her that I was straight.

I don't know how to deal with this. I didn't tell her anything, so she said she'll ask this again some other day. I believe she won't force me into conversion therapy, but I don't want her to keep bugging me about this. I cannot come out as she is in no place to accept me. What do I do?

I (F34) split with my ex (F38) around a month ago. Absolute bolt out of the blue, we went for a family day out on the Saturday and Sunday morning she made me coffee then told me she was unhappy and left.

We were together for 14 years, when I met her she had a son who was 3 and a daughter who was a few weeks old. Neither of them saw or have seen their other bio parent since. I have brought them up like they’re my own because they are, they’re my whole world.

Ex has been living at her parents since she left and the children have been with me every night since, she has seen them maybe 4/5 times since she left. Doesn’t text or call them unless they reach out to her.

This is that out of character I can’t even fathom what I’m saying, she was always so present and so attentive, couldn’t of asked for a better person to parent with for all them years.

2 weeks before she left we had just moved into a new home, so legally we’re both on here for the next 3 years with no break out clause.

Don’t get me wrong, I begged, pleaded and everything else at first for her to come back and was wondering if her mental health had took a hit etc but it just seems like this is who she is now. I began asking her to come back to co parent as I was struggling with being heart broken aswel as keeping the house going. Feeding them, shopping, school runs, pick ups, appointments, clean home, clean clothes, everything seemed like a lot to do with a broken heart.
She refused and said ‘I’m where I need to be’

Anyway fast forward to now and she’s telling me she’s moving back in in a few weeks once our son has done his A Levels. I asked if I could speak to someone about getting her name taken off this house and putting my sister on and then she’d be free to get her own place and she simply says no, that this is her house too. (I don’t think I’d be able to with how tight the contract is but it was worth looking into) not sure why she’d want to be tied here for 3 years.

Anyway, I’m at a point where I don’t actually want her to move back in because I don’t think she’s the same person anymore and really don’t want toxicity around the kids or myself.

Anyone any advice on co living? Would like to hear your thoughts.

it’s so hard to find fellow queer jews so just thought it wouldn’t hurt to ask!!

Hi, so this isn’t something I’ve shared with anyone, so I honestly don’t even know where to start. First off, I’ve never had an orgasm, ever. Not even through masturbation. I’ve tried everything from vibrators to dildos, and nothing has worked.

I’m going to see my girlfriend in a month. We live in different states, and she’s been talking a lot about wanting to see me “needy” and “desperate”. But I’ve literally never had an orgasm in my life (it’s something I’m a little insecure about tbh). We’ve been sexually intimate before, but I’ve always taken over, even when she was trying to focus on me and my pleasure. You could probably call me a bit of a stone top, I guess.

I just don’t know what to do because I want to give her what she wants and desires, but I feel like I can’t fulfill that need, and I honestly don’t know what to do. Please send help.

Alright sisters I need to poll the audience here. So I was at a bar and the bartender complimented me on my eevee purse!

She asked me what my favorite eeveelution is (Sylveon/Leafeon) and she said “My favorite is Jolteon because I’m a lesbian”

What are y’all’s favorite eeveelutions and do Lesbians truly love Jolteon?

Love you Queens!

It wasn’t accepted well
Feel free to pm