I don't know how I am supposed to get my plan to work now
I kinda wanted to get into the ivy League and was doing perfectly until the third quarter in my junior year (I had all As in 10th and got into honor roll till period 2 this year) and then got seizure after seizure, and my teachers didn't want to compromise, quarter 3 led me to have Cs, then in quarter 4 before my ap psych exam (both times) I had a seizure and then when I had the chance to get through 4th quarter not dying, I get horrible chest pains and get to know I have had autoimmune hemolytic anemia, hospitalizing me before my precalculus final, even before that I had to fight a cold with focal seizures so the last units of precalculus go horribly. My ecs as I was planning were going to be volunteering in a hospital, learning French by myself with the stamp test giving me a 4/5 in speaking and 5/6 in writing, learning chess and hopefully reaching 1400 as I started kinda late, getting experience for cooking but couldn't do that since I was not allowed to work here with the h-4 visa so I was going to plan something in the summer. I am dying from the inside as I am seeing people who prepare like hell and considering it as under preparation and the paranoia is making me die from the inside as hope begins getting waterboarded. I get that I can't account for others being better and will try my hardest as it depends on me but it feels kinda like God is targeting me with a sniper every time I get up off my bed, just tell me if I ever even had a chance. It will hurt but I will still try even if the verdict comes that I never had a chance, I took apush, ap psych and lang this year and could get a recommendation letter from everyone of my teachers, will take ap bio and gov this year and have been told to reduce strain unless I want epilepsy for the rest of my life. Kinda poetic that I want to be a neurosurgeon and I get the only gamble where I rest or become epileptic with too much strain permanently disfiguring me .