I don’t want to give a part of my liver to my emotionally neglectful parent
For context: my parent has been sick most of my life. I don’t have the closest relationship with them. I love them but I don’t offer up too much of myself to them because they don’t respect my boundaries. My childhood was spent being their therapist, being guilt tripped, and emotionally manipulated and neglected. The guilt trips haven’t stopped, usually using their illness to get me to come and see them and to bring my child to visit them. Now they are significantly deteriorating and need a new liver and kidney. They are automatically assuming that I will be their donor. I have a 6 year old child at home, and a job that I don’t get any kind of paid medical leave to use to recover from a surgery that will have to happen 5 hours from where I live. My other parent is empathetic to this and doesn’t want me to donate (at least not right now). The parent needing the donation has said at one time that they also didn’t want me to donate because they “wouldn’t want to put me through that” which they only said because someone else in our family mentioned what a huge burden it would be on me to do so. I don’t know how to move forward here. This parent takes everything so personally that if I tell them I’m not willing to risk my health and safety for theirs, it may ruin the last few months and or years we have together. Advice?